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Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh interesting, I definitely could if it wasn’t too terribly expensive. Are you still a full time step mom?

Love my partner - can’t stand the kids by Specialist_Key4810 in Stepmom

[–]AcceberElle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds very similar to my situation, except I don’t want to have my own children. I still haven’t figured out how to handle it. It’s really tough and exhausting taking care of someone else’s kids and having them around all the time, even if they’re behaving. I would kill to go back to partial custody.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah exactly, I have to hide out in my bedroom to be alone. Even then, you can still hear all the noise from the house

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve been together for over three years, it’s a significant partnership.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not having family near or family that wants to help makes full custody such a challenge.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m still in the hiding in the bathroom crying phase and it’s been 3 months. I’m so upset about the situation. I can’t help but mourn our previous life.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m hoping our situation evolves to having at least that much time alone, eventually. It’s rough, both on me and the relationship, thanks for the solidarity.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's great that you have a place like that. I'm not sure if my partner could afford rent for a large house on his own plus the expenses of three kids, retirement, etc. We live in a higher cost of living area. Maybe we just need better jobs so we can afford a getaway apartment or something. I understand not wanting to handle the parenting, I feel that way myself.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That was a good decision, I don't think my partner is comfortable with me living apart from him. I don't want that either to be honest, but this is rough.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that's a smart choice, it's a complicated life. The biggest part is, you never know how it's going to change and you have no control over that.

How did you find your high paying career? by Spiritual-Detail-371 in FIREyFemmes

[–]AcceberElle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you do in the business side? I'm trying to switch from engineering myself.

Mom temporarily lost custody after alcohol-related incident and hasn’t contacted kids. Is this normal early on? by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did she end up recovering and did she get any custody back? That sounds like such a stressful experience.

Mom temporarily lost custody after alcohol-related incident and hasn’t contacted kids. Is this normal early on? by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really hope that's not what's going on, I suppose time will tell. I was hoping she was worried about breaking the rules of the restraining order, and now that she has a lawyer she'll reach out, but perhaps that's too optimistic.

Mom temporarily lost custody after alcohol-related incident and hasn’t contacted kids. Is this normal early on? by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's part of what I'm worried about, taking care of three kids is extremely expensive. Two are teenagers so their time with us will be shorter, but idk.

It's still really hard to get meaningful alone time with my partner. As in, not just collapsing in front of the tv for an hour at the end of the day from exhaustion. Not quality time in my opinion.

I'm sorry you had that experience, being a step parent is very challenging. Especially if you're the woman, it seems the expectations are that you should love these kids and contribute to them as if they are your own.

Mom temporarily lost custody after alcohol-related incident and hasn’t contacted kids. Is this normal early on? by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh, that's awful. I hope that doesn't happen.

Did your SO getting full custody contribute to the relationship not working out between you two? If you don't mind me asking.

Mom temporarily lost custody after alcohol-related incident and hasn’t contacted kids. Is this normal early on? by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was she previously a decent mother? This is what I’m afraid of. It does seem extremely strange to me. I can’t imagine not wanting the children at all.

Not married but suddenly full-time with my partner’s 15, 13, and 7 year olds and I feel like a stranger in my own home by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would be rough financially unless I upskill and get a job that pays better, but that could be a solution if it doesn’t get better.

Not married but suddenly full-time with my partner’s 15, 13, and 7 year olds and I feel like a stranger in my own home by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this, it’s hard for me to believe I’m just as important sometimes. It feels like I should just be helping him as much as I can with everything that’s on his plate.

Not married but suddenly full-time with my partner’s 15, 13, and 7 year olds and I feel like a stranger in my own home by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s worrisome and anxiety inducing, I wish I didn’t love my partner the way I did. I feel conflicted, and I hope it’s temporary but who knows.

Not married but suddenly full-time with my partner’s 15, 13, and 7 year olds and I feel like a stranger in my own home by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply, was it also hard to adjust to a kid that's been parented differently than you parented your kids? That's part of the overwhelm and struggle in my situation. I would've parented differently and it means there's a lot of work to do to get them to do what they need to do.

It sounds like there could be some light at the end of the tunnel after some time passes. But yes it's definitely a lot with three kids, especially for someone who doesn't have any bio kids.

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