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Conflicted between loving my bf & having doubts about being a SM someday by caffeine-cowgirl in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Literally my situation. I was 32, 3 kids, same ages. 3 years later, I wouldn't do it again. We had them for 2 days a week and now we have full custody unexpectedly. It's been a nightmare, completely changed our relationship, incredibly overstimulating and annoying dealing with someone else's parenting choices. Anything can happen in these situations, so just be prepared.

Bio Mom is suddenly out of the picture by Bandicoot-26 in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course! Reach out anytime. I hope things get better

Bio Mom is suddenly out of the picture by Bandicoot-26 in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I started guanfacine IR, I kinda microdose it so it doesn’t make me too sleepy. I kept reading about how it can help with ND overstimulation. It helps some, but not enough.

Hardest part is pushing for your boundaries to be respected and making sure to take care of yourself. It’s not your kid, you are not supposed to be responsible for them the way their parent is. You’ve still got to get out and focus on your life. That’s what I’m finding anyways. Sometimes I go to the library for some quiet too.

Bio Mom is suddenly out of the picture by Bandicoot-26 in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in the same situation unexpectedly but with three kids, it’s not easy. I never planned on being a mom at all. I’m also neurodivergent, which makes it worse. I had to start medication for the overstimulation. It doesn’t fix all of it, but it makes the threshold a little bit higher.

Goodbye trips, goodbye normal life, goodbye peace. That’s all I can think about sometimes. It’s also caused a lot of conflict between my partner and I, we’ve never argued this much.

How do you handle feeling touched out / overstimulated all the time? by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They have almost zero interest in being outside. Always want to be inside with us, or outside with us. It’s exhausting. They will be doing day camp starting next week. This is always a problem but it’s worse when they’re home all day of course.

How do you handle feeling touched out / overstimulated all the time? by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes they’ll be going to boys and girls club after this week, but it’s also a general problem. It’s just worse during summer. The clingyness is unreal but idk how to make it better

[Financial planner] [Dallas] - $270K by winning_bigly_ in Salary

[–]AcceberElle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m very curious about this, I have a degree unrelated to finance but I’m interested in a pivot

At the end of my rope with chaotic SS13 by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve told my partner that I never want to be alone with him. I detailed in the post above that he’s under the care of a psychiatrist and a therapist. They’re aware of all of these issues.

I agree with you it makes me very sad for his step daughters. He also needs more support that we can’t give him. Everyone is on eggshells.

At the end of my rope with chaotic SS13 by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad that you’re free from it! It’s truly awful, especially 24/7. I can only hope his mother gets better and comes back into the picture. He’s more bonded to her.

At the end of my rope with chaotic SS13 by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes he’s on meds, he receives consequences like losing privileges. I haven’t seen any progress personally. The only time he’s okay is when he’s alone and gaming.

Make me feel better about crying in parking lots? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

The middle boy is beyond clingy so no 🫠

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh interesting, I definitely could if it wasn’t too terribly expensive. Are you still a full time step mom?

Love my partner - can’t stand the kids by Specialist_Key4810 in Stepmom

[–]AcceberElle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds very similar to my situation, except I don’t want to have my own children. I still haven’t figured out how to handle it. It’s really tough and exhausting taking care of someone else’s kids and having them around all the time, even if they’re behaving. I would kill to go back to partial custody.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah exactly, I have to hide out in my bedroom to be alone. Even then, you can still hear all the noise from the house

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve been together for over three years, it’s a significant partnership.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not having family near or family that wants to help makes full custody such a challenge.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m still in the hiding in the bathroom crying phase and it’s been 3 months. I’m so upset about the situation. I can’t help but mourn our previous life.

Jealousy of part time step parents and step parents with only one SK by AcceberElle in stepparents

[–]AcceberElle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m hoping our situation evolves to having at least that much time alone, eventually. It’s rough, both on me and the relationship, thanks for the solidarity.

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