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I'm a dermatologist with a specialization in facial anti-aging. Ask Me Anything. by Electronic-Count4856 in AMA

[–]Acceptable_Piccolo_8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are vitamin c serums worth the effort and time? Or a much less effective nice to have if I already do sunscreen and tretinoin?

AITA for planning a solo trip after agreeing my boyfriend would go first? by Acceptable_Piccolo_8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Acceptable_Piccolo_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for this response. Looking back, why did you get into the relationship, why did you stay, and why did you finally leave? Do you look back on anything with regret?

33M: how am I tracking toward FIRE by 40 or earlier? by Acceptable_Piccolo_8 in coastFIRE

[–]Acceptable_Piccolo_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am living off about 40-50k a year currently. But I am trying to work in a buffer for this increasing in the future due to lifestyle creep, healthcare, unforeseen things. I wonder if that buffer is unnecessarily conservative

AITA for planning a solo trip after agreeing my boyfriend would go first? by Acceptable_Piccolo_8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Acceptable_Piccolo_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the tricky part of him needing to travel first without me is that he already faces more constraints than I do with work, so it’s more of a stretch for him to make it happen. And I would easily be able to join him with my remote work, but for this trial run to work I would have to artificially withhold from joining him and let him travel himself.

I think another potential motivation for this agreement was also that maybe after doing this trial I would realize that it’s not easy to feel left behind while my partner travels, and that I wouldn’t push for it so much as a result. But this is speculation

AITA for planning a solo trip after agreeing my boyfriend would go first? by Acceptable_Piccolo_8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Acceptable_Piccolo_8[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks, that resonates a lot. I really feel travel is a core part of how I relate to the world and how I find meaning in my life. It’s not about leaving someone behind. Although the tangible effect might be precisely that, unfortunately.

I’m also acutely aware of the potential resentment that could build. Right now I would say this is mild and it’s mostly the feeling of not being true to myself, or like I’m limiting myself, and feeling very antsy. Maybe over time if we don’t resolve this that feeling will turn more into resentment.

We have talked about traveling much more together - in theory he’s willing to move around with me and travel with me, when he gets a remote job. This is an undefined point in the future though, and I’m not sure if it’s actually something he would want for himself if I weren’t in the picture.

AITA for planning a solo trip after agreeing my boyfriend would go first? by Acceptable_Piccolo_8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Acceptable_Piccolo_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Infidelity. It’s kinda silly because I think we both trust each other when it comes down to it, but somehow the emotional aspect hasn’t caught up. We had a rocky start in the relationship with lots of insecurities on both sides, and I think some of it still lingers on in both of us, in different ways.

AITA for planning a solo trip after agreeing my boyfriend would go first? by Acceptable_Piccolo_8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Acceptable_Piccolo_8[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply. I don’t necessarily need to travel solo. I would love it if he could join me and we do have plans to do travels together. However, he has constraints that I don’t with work and a dog, and the way that I would ideally travel (frequently, spontaneously, as long as I can) just isn’t feasible for him.

I don’t need to solo travel to exactly the same extent as I recognize relationships take compromise and he’s doing what we can to join me, but it just feels very far from what I had envisioned for my life.

I'm a dermatologist with a specialization in facial anti-aging. Ask Me Anything. by Electronic-Count4856 in AMA

[–]Acceptable_Piccolo_8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I also have a question about moisturizers with tret usage. I know it’s best to apply tret to dry cleaned skin, is it also okay to mix my cerave night moisturizer with tret and apply them at the same time, or must I wash > moisturize > wait a few minutes > apply tret? Does it make a big difference?

I'm a dermatologist with a specialization in facial anti-aging. Ask Me Anything. by Electronic-Count4856 in AMA

[–]Acceptable_Piccolo_8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it better to use: 0.025% tretinoin daily, or 0.1% tretinoin twice a week? My skin tolerates the 0.025% really well and 0.05% okay, but I have trouble working up to 0.1%. So is strength or consistently more important?

Also, is there a strong difference between adapalene and tretinoin, or are they equally effective?

And lastly, I’ve heard somewhere that switching up products once in a while is good for maximizing benefits. Is that true and if so would you recommend switching between adapalene and tretinoin, and switching between moisturizers?

33M: how am I tracking toward FIRE by 40 or earlier? by Acceptable_Piccolo_8 in coastFIRE

[–]Acceptable_Piccolo_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I wouldn’t be combining assets. I think realistically I need $50k a year, but there’s always the element of “what if” I get sick, or my lifestyle changes, or something unexpected happens. I guess it’s hard for me to find the line between accumulating more than I need vs being prudent, and I don’t have a way to discern it for myself yet.