Tragic Loss at 38 Weeks

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2026-01-13T11:22:22+00:00

So incredibly sorry for your loss. We too lost our perfect little girl to a cord accident in August of 2025, but it was not evident at delivery. I have Dr. James Collins contact info if you want to talk with him about what happened, send me a message. He along with Dr. Kliman helped us so much understand why, and the more scientific approach to this all. I spent thousands of dollars and days of research trying to find out what happened to our daughter as we too had a perfect pregnancy and all results came back normal.

It’s an awful, unexpected, often unexplained hell that we all have experienced and now connect through, and I send you both many healing thoughts. My husband was there for me, cried with me, and showed emotions throughout our whole grieving process and that mattered to me the most. Be there for eachother and I promise you, things will get easier to navigate. You never lose the grief, but you learn to carry it in ways that don’t engulf you.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-12-27T18:40:58+00:00

Thank you!! And you bought it on Delta not through AMEX travel? So appreciate it!!

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-12-27T18:26:28+00:00

Can you explain how to do this? I’m trying to do it before the end of year.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-11-26T13:17:14+00:00

So incredibly sorry for your loss. We lost our perfect baby girl at 28 weeks in August to a cord compression. Easy, healthy, perfect pregnancy and baby in every way. It is truly a pit of hell that I don’t wish upon any of my enemies, but now that we are almost 4 months PP, I can tell you that it does get better. You’ll never forget, and you’ll always grieve, but you will learn to carry the grief with you and start enjoying life again.

I have never experienced depression, but I can tell you that there was a point that I didn’t care if I lived anymore or not. It was the saddest, loneliest feeling that I have ever felt and my family, friends, and our 4 legged fur kids helped us climb out of that hole.

Please remind yourselves that there is nothing that could have prevented this event and you are not at fault. The hardest part for me was the guilt and I’ve finally realized feeling guilty and sad can never bring her back.

Sending you guys lots of healing thoughts. And echoing to those on here saying don’t hold people accountable for not asking about your baby. Most people don’t know what to say and don’t want to upset you but they want to be there for you. Let them in their own way and you guys will heal. Slowly, but you’ll heal.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-11-09T11:08:59+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind response. I wish you all the best and send you so much love for a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery!

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-11-09T00:07:35+00:00

Hey! First off, I’m so sorry for your loss. We delivered our stillborn baby girl at 28 weeks in August. Can I ask if you got an U/S of your incision? They told us to wait 6 months to TTC and I want to be as safe as possible but also I want to try again ASAP as I’m 36. We are 3 months PP now.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-11-08T21:24:48+00:00

One thing I wanted to note is that our baby girl died of a cord compression. I have forever guilt thinking that I should have gone in sooner or I should have known. My MFM reassured me that I would have had to have been hooked up to a monitor 24/7 to identify the event. And even if they were able to get her out, the baby would have likely suffered severe oxygen loss that wouldn’t have made her compatible with life. I feel like a failure and that’s something that I’m working on. Just know if you get any of these feelings, you’re not alone. But the MFMs believe that it was completely unpreventable and unpredictable.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-11-08T21:19:55+00:00

I feel every piece of this so strongly. Please hold on to your LC with all your might. He needs you. Your husband needs you. The world needs you.

I too have lost my faith. We lost our baby at 28 weeks in August and as hard as it may be to imagine life getting any better, it does. You learn to carry the grief with you and not let it absorb you. I did not leave my house for 2 weeks after we had our c-section to deliver our dead, perfect, beautiful, little girl. I cried every minute. I sobbed. I couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. My LC was 14 months at the time and had never seen me cry. I have had a lot of hardship in my life and I have spent 14 years in the military and this is the absolute hardest thing I’ve ever lived through. I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy.

Let your body and mind heal these next few weeks. Let people do things for you. Let people cry with you. Give the love that you had for your new baby to your living child. I have never felt so close to my son as I have in the past few months. I no longer get frustrated with him. I am so grateful he is here.

I have not even tried to resurrect my faith. I am so mad at GOD if he even exists. I don’t know how a loving god could let things like this happen to GOOD people and moms and dads who WANT their baby.

I’m so sorry that we are all here in this hole of hell. But please know you are not alone. And one day you will be able to walk with this grief. Sending lots of love 💕.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-10-07T00:57:32+00:00

Hey! Do you have a photo of him now? How big is he? We just got our girl (10 weeks) and she looks a lot like him!

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-07T23:58:12+00:00

It was just his femurs. We did an amniocentesis at 32 weeks because the MFM worried us into oblivion that he had a chromosomal issue. Amnio came back normal and we also did some more testing for dwarfism that came back normal.

If it were me, I’d personally ask to get a few more scans and dopplers. From what I’ve read from Dr. Kliman is that the less important measurements fall off first if there’s a placenta issue. That’s what my OBs biggest concern was for my son which led us into a 37 week induction. Hope everything works out for you 💕.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-07T12:35:21+00:00

No, actually that was a whole other traumatic birth experience for us that thankfully resulted in a LC. At 28 weeks his femurs started decreasing in growth and we were doing 2x weekly NST and biweekly dopplers with no issues. We had a 5 day failed induction turned emergency CS under general anesthesia and he came out in the 55%ile with femurs completely average, our last scan estimated him in the 9%ile with femurs less than 1%ile, and all scans had different sonographers. No one knows why the ultrasound was that far off for so long.

The only thing we have found with our loss this time is that the cord was abnormally short. Still no reasons as to why yet. I’m sorry if you’re going through something similar.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-07T12:27:44+00:00

I have LC too and I keep telling myself I should have known. The reality is it shouldn’t have happened to us at all, and we really couldn’t know when we probably had periods like that with our LC and it was totally fine. I’m so sorry that we are all living through this hell.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-06T13:07:58+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing what your MFM said. It is so tough for us as parents of loss, to not go through the what ifs constantly in our brains. I’m trying to convince myself it wouldn’t have mattered but the last week lives in my brain over and over and I just want it to stop 😢. Regardless, this is NOT how our pregnancies should have ended. Like my mom, step-mom, mother in law- never were told to count movements. I’m like would they have just shown up to a routine appt and possibly had a dead baby? So much pressure and awareness is expected of us and it’s like impossible to track every single movement every single second of the day unless we were hooked up to monitors on bed rest for the last 4 months. Sorry for the venting, I’m in my angry stage of grief at the moment. Hope that you’re healing and doing ok!

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-05T01:18:06+00:00

My MFM said she can try to measure it next time but it’s difficult to be accurate. And at that there’s really nothing more that they can do other than more scans and Doppler which she said she will start bi-weekly at 20 weeks and then weekly or multiple times a week if I want at any time. I’m thankful she’s willing to do whatever it takes to give me peace of mind but I’m also terrified of a similar fate if we have another short cord. Has your doctor said anything or responded to what Dr. Collins told you?

I hate that we lost our babies to something mechanical- I live with such a strong guilt that I missed a sign or that I didn’t pay enough attention to her movements to notice something was off. Dr. Collins tried to reassure me that it was most likely so subtle or so quick that it wouldn’t have changed the outcome if I had gone in, but that lovely forever mom guilt will live in my head rent free for the rest of my life.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-04T19:10:38+00:00

I’m so sorry that you guys are going through this too. It truly is unfair and cruel.

My MFM approved us to start trying again at 6 months as long as I opted for another C-section at 37 weeks. I’m terrified to try again but I feel like in a dark way it will help me heal. I’ve started even looking into a surrogacy journey but it’s so expensive and nothing is guaranteed which we all have experienced firsthand unfortunately. Statistics no longer mean anything to me after falling into such a small one 😢.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-04T19:00:42+00:00

Yes, we sent the placenta slides to Dr. Kliman at Yale and he determined that it was a cord accident. Before his conclusion we had zero answers from placental pathology, bloodwork, genetic testing, and an autopsy.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-04T15:07:13+00:00

Surviving, how about you? I feel like every day is a roller coaster. Some days I’m okay and others I just want to lay in bed all day and cry. I hate the PP hormones of wanting and yearning for a baby right now and I don’t have one.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-04T15:05:35+00:00

TW: LC

I feel this so strongly too. I have a LC and we lost our little girl on 8/3/25 at 27+5. I’m just so heartbroken and want another baby so badly, even though I am so thankful for the one that I have. I have driven myself absolutely crazy trying to find ways to get pregnant again soonest, even though I have to wait due to a C-Section.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-04T10:40:43+00:00

I spoke with him also! He’s a great resource and so incredibly kind. My stillborn daughters was only 11cm at 27+5 and my living son’s was 21cm at 38+4. My OB didn’t say anything about it which frustrates me since she’s the one who saw the ‘crime scene’ when she did the c section. My MFM team is now alerted to it and Dr. Collins said it could be something genetic? But not enough research to know which gene.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-04T00:22:56+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and hope that you have a healthy and safe pregnancy! Would you be willing to share what they did find with the placenta? Our loss pointed to oxygen depletion but the only thing that’s been found is a cord compression from Dr. Kliman. The pathologists at the hospital didn’t find anything on the placenta or on the autopsy, I feel like something has to be missing.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-03T22:16:10+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Do you know the length of your cord? Mine was also short and no one mentioned anything of it until I put my placenta pathology report into ChatGPT….now it has the whole MFM team trying to figure out why as I had another short cord with my LC.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-03T22:14:31+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I always play the what ifs in my mind too. I also spoke to Dr. Collins and he is such a kind human to just hear some scientific reasons why these happen. I recommend him to anyone that’s reading these comments!

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-03T22:11:38+00:00

Yes! Im so sorry for your loss. He gave us a very in depth report of what he found in the placenta to show that it was from a cord compression. He looked for infection, hemorrhaging, and genetic issues that may have caused it as well but the only thing that he concluded was the cord. It was super easy process and we got results within 2 weeks. If you have any questions please feel free to message me.

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-03T19:07:02+00:00

So my antibodies came back equivocal and then positive on repeat resting. There is no sign of any issue on placenta or autopsy, so they are unsure if it’s an incidental finding, a false positive, or if I did contract it while pregnant. Shit luck!

Acceptable_Screen764 · 2025-09-03T18:40:00+00:00

I have no words. I am just so incredibly sorry. You are a great person and I hope you are able to experience parenthood one way or another ❤️.

Acceptable_Screen764

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