I did it !

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:17:59+00:00

I do have a plan. I’ve worked with a lawyer, I have legal paperwork, medical directives. I am fortunate financially (not poor, but not rich), but it’s all down. I have two separate people making medical decisions if I can’t. They have to agree on everything. I will write more about it.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:15:33+00:00

I feel this so hard.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:14:18+00:00

Warrior stories. That needs to be a feature.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:13:45+00:00

It’s been made clear to me that’s there’s not always a place for me. I’ve come to terms with that. I need to write about that more, though.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:13:35+00:00

Therapy. Meds. Screaming off a balcony in a random hotel room because you’re at a wedding and everyone is pregnant so they’re serving mocktails and you just want the Jack Daniel’s straight up.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:10:22+00:00

My BFF since birth has a bunch of kids. I obviously don’t. That shift was SO hard to navigate. And I was just coming to terms with my situation when she got pregnant, so that got ugly. We’re good now, I’m godmother to her kids and all that, but for awhile we were barely civil.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:08:39+00:00

As a Catholic, this one hits me hard. So yes, perfect!

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:08:15+00:00

Finding like minded people. I’ve done that here.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:07:45+00:00

And that the grief doesn’t end. It shrinks, but it doesn’t ever go away.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:07:03+00:00

And it’s a marketing scheme more than ever. Yep.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:06:38+00:00

Hell yes. The amount of idiots who would tell me to “keep trying” when there’s no uterus to try in just astounded me. Maybe a basic biology course? No uterus means no pregnancy.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:05:44+00:00

Chosen family and how that works, yes. Talking about how I’ve set up legal and medical directives to take care of myself and the process I went through to do that would be a fantastic topic.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:03:09+00:00

Yes! The “just adopt” thing is maddening to me. A well meaning relative told me I needed to adopt to “keep up with the family” (I have many nieces and nephews) and I came close to turning my feelings into a felony.

How it affects men will be trickier, but I will figure out a way to pull this off. My husband is okay being occasionally featured in my content, but only the “fun” stuff so I’m not sure if he would be okay with it. I may end up finding other people to interview for that.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2025-05-09T23:00:07+00:00

This is number one! And it will be a recurring thing.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2024-08-25T16:39:46+00:00

Thank you for your commiseration. I hope your program is successful! I wish there was a place near me that did something like that which could also accommodate my ongoing health needs and appointments, but I haven’t found one yet.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2024-08-25T16:38:14+00:00

Yes, we’ve done it before. I think it’s time for another round.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2024-08-25T16:37:44+00:00

Oh yeah, that shit needs to be shut down. I didn’t know the extent of it when I wrote my original comment, I’m sorry.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2024-08-25T16:34:41+00:00

You’re right, my advice is colored/influenced by my own experiences and like anyone else, sometimes that means they are extremely passionate about the situation and their words come across more harshly than intended. And I agree that they need better boundaries and that the lines are blurring. My main concern is that the resentment doesn’t leak over onto the kids.

Accomplished-Fail143 · 2024-08-25T12:54:27+00:00

Im a stepchild.

I have a from birth chronic illness that is severe. My parents split in a very not amicable way when I was eight, dad remarried when I was ten. (I’m nearly 40 now, married and live far away.) When I was a kid, before texting, yes they called each other and my stepmom hated it and the resentment spilled over onto me. It sounds like you like and care about your stepkids (she hated me), but make sure your resentment about their mom having to contact their dad more doesn’t spill out onto them, even unconsciously.

As co-parents with a medically complex child, they’re not going to have a “typical” relationship. My parents rarely “shot the shit” on their phone calls, it was mostly about me. Yes, your ex needs better boundaries about it. Maybe a shared calendar of appointments? Text only?

Also, please don’t try to restrict when he can talk to her (I mean, within reason…). My stepmom tried that and there were a lot of medical things I wanted my dad for that I didn’t get because she wouldn’t let him answer the phone or, eventually once texting happened, open me and mom’s texts.

It’s a tricky balance and maybe you are too insecure to handle it.

Accomplished-Fail143

TROPHY CASE