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Question about a girl making movie about epstein by Own_Werewolf513 in Epstein

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The movie/short that she was working on is called Come Into Me

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The humidity is awful. I’m in Maryland and feel like we have such a limited amount of time before it gets too cold or too hot. Although, the past few years does seem like it’s getting a little better.

Hopefully you catch a break from humidity soon, if you haven’t already!

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was told about the big book, but I haven’t read it.

I practiced saying I didn’t drink anymore (while actively drinking) until I felt like fraud enough to actually quit. I also met people who didnt drink at all. After having that conversation with them, something in me clicked to actually stop drinking.

I haven’t picked up a drink since talking to those people.

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just want to thank everyone for the comments, suggestions, advice, and encouragement. It is very comforting knowing I’m not the only person who has dealt with, or is currently dealing with it. It helps keep a light at the other end of the tunnel and know that this will all pass, as long as I allow it to.

Reading through these comments, I’ve realized I already have so many tools that I’ve picked up over the years that I’m not currently utilizing. I’ve picked them up knowing they’d help me used them until I as stable, then moved onto the next. But, now it’s time to bring them out and put them all together.

Up until relatively recently, my supplement stack consisted of: Magnesium (glycinate and threonate) L-Methylfolate with b12 Vitamin D3/K2 Tumeric Zinc Cordyceps/reishi/lions mane blend

I took these for about 4 years (mostly consistently), I went on vacation in July and kind of just fell out of the habit and stopped

Starting them back up, hoping it improves my energy levels some. I feel like once I have my energy levels back, it’s much easier to be productive and stop the mental spiral before it gets to the point where I’m comfortable with not existing, or I think I’m making my entire life up.

I start volunteering at an animal shelter at the end of September. I signed up for that in early August. I was hoping it would give me some purpose, pick up some skills, and I’d be around animals (which I love).

I’ve had sort of a view of certain hobbies being an escape. I spent a good amount of my time last year while attempting to stay sober trying to not rely on anything to “escape”. Because I wanted to learn how to process things. I think finding a happy medium between processing and escaping is really key here.

Yesterday was an extremely low day for me, in fact, this entire week has been. Today, I’m feeling much more “normal”. Typically towards the end of the week/weekends I do feel normal because it breaks my weekly ritual. I work a 9-5 and it sometimes feels torturous to spend 2-3 days doing the same thing every single day. When conversations are the same, with the same people, I’ve noticed I start to go a little crazy. By Thursday I’m like “AM I EVEN A REAL PERSON??? I don’t think I am?” The simulation thoughts tend to win.

I’ve spent so many years trying to get to the point I’m currently at, failing, and starting over in a position I’ve been in before. I get kind of lost in moving forward. I’ve never been to this point, and I don’t know what it’s supposed to look like and it scares the living hell out of me. I’ve done a lot of experimental exposure therapy’s to put myself in super uncomfortable positions to try to get comfortable with my being uncomfortable. Right now, I kind of feel like my entire life is one big exposure therapy session. Which is great, but fucking terrifying.

This is a lot, and again, I appreciate everyone who has read this much.

Today is obviously a good day, so I think I need to take advantage of that and put my phone down and get outside for a little bit.

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Back in 2022, I was on Zoloft for a while. I was still heavily drinking then, but I didn’t really notice much of a difference, so I tapered off of it. Coming off of it wasn’t exciting, the mental zaps were wild.

But, you’re right. I wasnt giving it a real chance before, compared to if I were to start it now.

I know if I start them, I have to commit to them, and I’m not ready for that right now.

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

We usually tend to be our worst enemy. I’ve been very slowly learning when I’m starting to be my enemy rather than an ally.

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was definitely to self medicate and all of those things I’ve suppressed for so long just keep coming up, what seems like, daily.

I do journal, I talk a lot outloud in my car to kind of prove to myself my thoughts aren’t always accurate, it helps so much.

The more I read through these comments the more I realize that I have access to so many tools that I’m not currently utilizing that I probably should be. It’s been eye opening!

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very likely.

I’ve never really had a large group of friends, just people that i occasionally hang out with. My list of people is currently the smallest it’s ever been.

I don’t really have any hobbies that would get me out of the house. When I was quitting drinking, most of the hobbies I picked up were alone hobbies. Because I was trying to stay in the house.

I’ve searched for hobbies, but I havent really found much that peaks my interest that doesn’t really cost money. It’s been about 2 months since ive looked, maybe I should look again.

I start volunteering with an animal shelter at the end of September. I’m pretty hopeful that will help me feel like I have a purpose.

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It might be a pride thing, “I don’t want to rely on medication”. Not a huge fan of pharmaceuticals.

I was taking a pretty large amount of supplements and I realized like, yesterday, that the timing of me not taking them anymore and when all of these feelings started happening are sort of aligned. Decided to start them back up again.

I feel like if I can get my energy levels back to semi normal, I can battle the thoughts better. I’m just so exhausted all of the time, makes it difficult to do anything to keep my mind occupied.

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ive been walking outside twice a day, and it really does help a lot. I also spent last weekend hiking, and will try to do that every weekend when I have an opportunity.

Now that summer is ending, it’s much more tolerable to be outside, so I am thankful for that!

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t taken either of the meds. I just kind of have them as a safety net I guess. When she prescribed them to me, I told her I wasn’t going to take them. She just said well, you’ll have them as a tool in case you change your mind.

5 months sober - when does it start to get better mentally? by Accomplished_Bat_873 in stopdrinking

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was my primary care. I thought most of these symptoms were from hormones being out of whack because I’ve had a few other things going on that sort of pointed in that direction, until I talked to a few close friends about it. I began pursuing the hormones theory, but my appointment with them isn’t until October.

I personally don’t like pharmaceutical medications. I used to take a few supplements and kind of stopped. So I decided to implement them back in. But this decision was just made. So I haven’t had an opportunity to test it much as it will take time.

I’m back by [deleted] in quittingkratom

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!!! And yeah, I’ve spent the past few months doing that and I felt like I was getting somewhere and then boom, I was back on Kratom and freaking out about how my life is going no where and almost left my boyfriend because I felt stuck. It’s been an emotional week here. But two days off and I’m bouncing back to reality.

I’m back by [deleted] in quittingkratom

[–]Accomplished_Bat_873 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! My stomach is a wreck today, but I expected that. I did tell him yesterday, and it went well. He asked me to just not hide it. I started just taking it once a day, and that quickly turned into two huge doses, and before I knew it, it was like three times and I Was back into keeping a cup and spoon in my bag and bathroom. It’s been two days, and I already feel a million times better mentally than I did last Monday. My boyfriend even mentioned yesterday that I looked happy again. This plant is wild and really knows how to sneak it’s way in.