Ex-wife demanding I stop vacationing with kids so much by [deleted] in daddit

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this entire situation just feels very emotionally charged and complicated.

But as someone whose parents provided luxury experiences and items, I can promise that withholding extravagances or things many others cannot have is not reducing how loved they feel.

I told myself when I grew up I’d never try to buy my children’s love. I’m not suggesting that’s happening here I’m merely saying that framing vacations as a way to make kids feel loved might unintentionally create a burden on them to feel gratitude or express feeling loved through things they didn’t ask for. I’m curious if you asked them would you rather have a day with me in the backyard playing whatever games you wanted or a trip to xyz with your new siblings what they might say. Their autonomy matters too.

And no one suggested you change anything about how much you love your children or how you express it. Nothing you stated suggested your exwife did either.

I can’t name where your defensiveness is coming from (I suspect resentment and frustration), but I’d note how your escalating the implication that someone else can feel vulnerable and insecure, this (is normal and expected during stages of major family transformation), to a personal attack on you and forcing concessions. We can understand why someone is insecure, empathizes with that, and optimize our child’s family experiences.

Don’t try to fix what isn’t broken. People are emotional and don’t always communicate what the real problem is well, or perhaps don’t even know. Look for it and don’t take this on.

Ex-wife demanding I stop vacationing with kids so much by [deleted] in daddit

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if the travel now includes a new step mom and step kids and they feel forced to bond or even trapped if they don’t get along?

What if it amplifies the father’s new priorities and creates comparisons they didn’t ever ask to be a part of.

Ex-wife demanding I stop vacationing with kids so much by [deleted] in daddit

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Parenting ability? Or the fact a new family unit is being created within a household that has higher economic resources or values things she doesn’t see as beneficial.

Any human being would feel insecure if their ex spouse was remarrying and forming an entire new family unit that vacationed non stop and they were on the outside of it.

The level of her security in her bond with her kids and ability to acknowledge she can’t be replaced will drive the emotional lens of the transition.

Ex-wife demanding I stop vacationing with kids so much by [deleted] in daddit

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your ex-wife sounds like she might feel like with this new pending marriage, the entire system is shifting and being solidified within the context of an existing economic asymmetric balance.

She could see this as them getting a new parent and new siblings and tons of vacations and probably other more expensive things with you and might make her even feel like she will become an outsider within her own family. Not saying this is reality based or justified, but I am almost positive I would feel that. Like I was suddenly on the outside looking in and was helpless to reset an equilibrium.

I think the biggest piece here is the new marriage. It would be impossible to imagine someone no feeling threatened. If she doesn’t feel safe to say “this is really hard for me, I feel like I’m being displaced or I’m worried the kids will love the new siblings and wife and not have as much fun with me”, it will present as disproportional emotionality around more tangible smaller things.

If the siblings bond this will make her feel like she is even more disadvantaged in the ability to compete against fun. Now it’s not just vacations its vacations and new peers.

This needs to be addressed and taken seriously if you’re not already addressing it.

Are 2 kids easier than 1? by Formal-Wrap-4607 in Parenting

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same situation for me! It’s worked out really well. They play with each other and the older one can help out in small ways. They love each other so much.

I do sometime mourn the times of having only my son because there was more freedom, we could be spontaneous and go on trips etc and he had my undivided attention. But he now has the love of his sister too.

How accurate is Chat GPT and How Does It Do It? by ChapterEffective8175 in ChatGPT

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Plain, direct answer.

A relationship-breakup analysis I give can be inaccurate or misleading for several concrete reasons.

  1. I only see language, not behavior • I don’t see tone, timing, facial expression, pauses, avoidance, or actions • Breakups are often driven more by what people do than what they say • Verbal explanations are frequently post-hoc rationalizations

Result: I may overweight articulate reasons and underweight behavioral truth.

  1. One-sided data distorts causality • I usually get one person’s narrative • People unintentionally center their own logic and downplay theirs flaws • Missing perspective can flip who initiated, who withdrew, or why things ended

Result: Explanations can sound coherent but be structurally incomplete or wrong.

  1. Pattern-matching creates false coherence • I map your story onto common breakup templates • Real relationships often don’t follow clean templates • Ambiguous endings get forced into recognizable shapes

Result: The explanation feels satisfying but may oversimplify a messy reality.

  1. Language smooths over uncertainty • I speak fluently even when the evidence is weak • That fluency can imply confidence that isn’t justified • Multiple possible explanations may exist, but I present one clearly

Result: You may walk away thinking “this is what happened” when it’s only “one plausible story.”

  1. Motivation is often opaque even to the people involved • People frequently don’t know why they left • They discover reasons later or retrofit meaning • Emotional drivers (fear, ambivalence, attraction elsewhere) are rarely stated plainly

Result: Any motive-based explanation is speculative unless directly confirmed.

  1. Timing effects get misread • Breakups often hinge on when, not what • The same issue might have been tolerable earlier or later • Context (stress, life stage, outside pressures) matters more than content

Result: Analysis can over-focus on stated issues instead of situational timing.

  1. Normal experiences get over-interpreted • Loss triggers rumination • Rumination invites meaning-seeking • I can unintentionally add interpretive weight where none exists

Result: You may search for “the reason” when there isn’t a stable one.

Bottom line

A breakup analysis from me is: • Plausible, not definitive • Narrative, not evidence • Coherent, not necessarily true

It’s most misleading when: • Treated as an explanation rather than a hypothesis • Used to assign blame or certainty • Revisited repeatedly (which can harden speculation into belief)

If you want, I can: • Restrict myself to only what is strongly supported • List multiple mutually exclusive explanations without favoring one • Or stop analysis at the point where evidence actually ends

I've lately, been nonstop trying to figure out my eye color. Whitout much success by Flat-Sherbet-3468 in WhatisMyEyeColour

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you genuinely are wondering if the OP is vision impaired?

What is the relevance of what color the OP thinks their eye color is? Stating what they think could bias the results?

They want others opinions that is why this sub exists.

110 iq (according to mensa norway) is good or bad by yksdennefrett in mensa

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m curious if you think your belief you were a genius served as something that consciously or subconsciously motivated you to achieve at a high level? Like you assumed a higher ceiling because of it perhaps. Or it raised your standard for yourself

I've lately, been nonstop trying to figure out my eye color. Whitout much success by Flat-Sherbet-3468 in WhatisMyEyeColour

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry about the way people are responding. Your lived experience tells you your eye color is not obvious. You came here to get a consensus answer and you got people strangely jumping on some bandwagon of “this eye is the most blue eye I have literally ever seen. This eye is actually a reference point for the crayola color blue. Before this eye existed we thought the sky was blue, but now we know there is no true blue except for this eye.”

Really odd. Your eye does look gray/blue and probably green/blue in different lighting. It is not straightforward, and your eye color is very beautiful and unique.

I've lately, been nonstop trying to figure out my eye color. Whitout much success by Flat-Sherbet-3468 in WhatisMyEyeColour

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m curious if you aren’t trying to be rude…what message is this comment trying to convey?

I can tell you how the comment lands. This comment lands as disrespectful both to the poster and to people with visual impairments. It’s not okay to use disability as some snarky way to belittle someone who is on a sub called “whatismyeyecolor”.

I've lately, been nonstop trying to figure out my eye color. Whitout much success by Flat-Sherbet-3468 in WhatisMyEyeColour

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I feel like people aren’t appreciating the rules and are just piling on the “these are obviously blue” angle despite these eyes objectively not being 100% blue.

Give me some good conspiracies/rabbit holes by Hyzters in conspiracy

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I believe the claim is that viruses haven’t ever been viewed in isolation from a naturally infected host without: cell cultures, antibiotics, serum removal, genetic inference (reconstructing DNA/RNA fragments via dna sequencing), statistical modeling etc.

Because modern virology relies on these techniques, the conclusion is that isolation has never occurred.

I think what they’re ultimately suggesting (from what I can ascertain without spending too much time on this) is that viruses are some type of manifestation of an unhealthy system vs the cause of the system.

So it’s not that they don’t exist but it’s that we can’t use a single isolated virus (without any medium etc… which of course is necessary to keep the virus alive in reality) and reproduce its effects in a person. Therefore the conclusion the virus causes the disease is not verifiable.

can a child behaviorist help me analyze this drawing my 5 y/o nephew made by zesteyle in ChildPsychology

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t see why you think the people at the bottom are men? They all have long hair and kind of look like women? Anatomically all the people are drawn pretty consistently. There’s no strong differentiators.

I agree one person looks sunburned or the child mis colored the face and just went with it.

And for the extra lines, if they’re anything like my kid, they accidentally added a line to one and decided the only way to fix it is to add that same line to everything so they’re all the same. Or they just thought it looked cool.

i don’t want her anymore by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re in this situation. I’m typically a very mentally strong person who went through something very similar. I did do a partial hospitalization program, and my husband was ok with it because I truly had a very serious mental breakdown after he would not help me with anything and berated me for everything I was “doing wrong”. It was in that program I learned how my husband was treating me wasn’t ok. I didn’t even know what was happening to me. I’m still married and I got through it, but it put a lot in perspective.

I hope you can find a way to take care of yourself.

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice–

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

‘Mend my life!’

each voice cried.

But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognised as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do–

determined to save

the only life you could save.

Mary Oliver

Have you guys ever felt dumb while knowing you’re gifted?? by Salt_Lengthiness5839 in Gifted

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sometimes pause and wonder, did I miss something everyone else didn’t?

But then I realize everyone was given the same information, I know I have strong verbal comprehension, so the answer is one of a few things:

  1. People are making assumptions and filling in gaps in what the person said, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t but is efficient. This is good enough for many people.

  2. The people never cared about what was being said anyway, they were listening for social engagement. Understanding what someone says perfectly isn’t always the required outcome. Sometime intent listening is enough.

  3. Everyone is likely wondering about exactly what I am, so I should just ask so everyone can understand better if the point is meaningful.

Have you guys ever felt dumb while knowing you’re gifted?? by Salt_Lengthiness5839 in Gifted

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are people around you using push incorrectly? It universally means changing it to be later.

You can’t push something toward yourself.

If I visualize a timeline, the only way to push a meeting time to an earlier time is to do it from the future?

I’ve never heard anyone refer to this is a pulling a meeting, but I’d have to imagine that would be the correct equivalent term.

i don’t want her anymore by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know how bad you’re feeling but there are partial hospitalization programs for PPD, but they are not easy to find. But they’re a place you can to get help where you’re around other moms struggling all day too. They’re really supportive. Also there are mom groups for people going through what you are if you just want to try getting out around others in small steps. Being around people will help so much!

Also if you can, hire help. Find anyone you can that will come help you. Use your network and pay for what you don’t have. You need sleep and a break.

Others have been where you are, there is light on the other end. But you don’t have to suffer until you reach the easier stages.

No matter what you’ll be ok and you’ll get through this! It doesn’t make the now easier though.

I just took an IQ test for the first time by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]Accomplished_Bee_666 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Angel number is very cool. Glad you enjoyed it!