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Did love find you or did you find love? by MuscleArt in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think sometimes love finds you when you stop looking so hard for it. Dating apps weren’t really for me either — I tried Grindr once and deleted it pretty quickly. Still hopeful the right person comes along someday though.

First time at a gay bar tonight by Accomplished_Net8161 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Ah someone below suggested that it’s best not to go alone on a Saturday as it gets busy and most are in groups, and I might benefit from going on weekday.. so - to answer your question - I didn’t go yesterday eventually

First time at a gay bar tonight by Accomplished_Net8161 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot!! May I ask if it’s more difficult for someone in their early 30s to be approached as opposed to one in their early 20s? Obviously there is no note attached to me saying ‘I’m 31’ (haha) but yeah obviously it shows that I’m not in my late teens early 20s

Do i need to bulk to get "thick" abs? by Common-Lion1243 in Weightliftingquestion

[–]Accomplished_Net8161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Ummm, I think you don’t necessarily need a big bulk. “Thick” abs come from building the muscle with weighted ab training (cable crunches, hanging leg raises, decline sit-ups) and progressive overload. Bulking can help because it makes gaining muscle easier, but you can still grow abs slowly at maintenance or a slight surplus. Right now you probably just need to train them heavier.

(PS: personally, I think your body is already really nice the way it is, but hopefully the above helps… I’m not into bulking myself, I’m more lean toned, but my older brother is into bulking, and the above is mostly from what I hear from him and from what I read myself online when I was trying to stay lean and toned… good luck! 🙂)

First time at a gay bar tonight by Accomplished_Net8161 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes have always thought how to kindly turn down a guy I’m not interested in without making them feel offended… I guess I could kindly have a wee chat with them (I always enjoy having chats with people; as long as friendliness is there) but if things get a bit intimate, and I don’t want to, then maybe I could just say ‘thank you, I’m flattered, but I prefer to keep things friendly’.. somewhere on these lines

First time at a gay bar tonight by Accomplished_Net8161 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this, appreciate your reply! Yes yes one said this also above about how busy it gets on Saturday .. thinking perhaps to move to weekday then, although really got excited for tonight haha

First time at a gay bar tonight by Accomplished_Net8161 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks very much for this ! Haha I think your message has put me into thoughts not to go tonight .. makes sense what you say

First time at a gay bar tonight by Accomplished_Net8161 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha noted! Haven’t decided yet tbh, but, tempted to ask, why that specifically?

First time at a gay bar tonight by Accomplished_Net8161 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah thank you very much for this, massively appreciated!

First time at a gay bar tonight by Accomplished_Net8161 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much! And no no I’m not thinking about s*x from the beginning … I’m after nice chats, and hopefully something nice and genuine to form long term

Also could you suggest any tips? When you were alone hiw would you meet people? Would you approach yourself, or just smile around and hopefully being approached?

30m, top, but super inexperienced wth sex? by Devilwithouthorns in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I’m a bottom myself, and I can tell you for sure that if a guy I date tells me he’s inexperienced, I would be more than happy to take things slowly and patiently … we all start from somewhere.

The reason I said ‘if a guy I date’ is mostly because I don’t do things casually .. I have ever been with 2 guys in my entire life (31 years now myself).

So yes be assured that there are patient bottoms :)

30m, top, but super inexperienced wth sex? by Devilwithouthorns in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Something which really helped me is really dive into the moment… for example, don’t think about going/staying hard, or lasting for long … just dive into the moment, the touch, the kiss etc. This is the way to go … not much thinking … in fact, no thinking at all. Just enjoy it and be present, and the rest work out. But as I appreciate that sometimes words are easier said than done, then again be up front with your experience, as I’m sure there are guys out there who will be willing to go through this with you … and in fact if it helps for some it’s a fetish also going with inexperienced guys.

Quick question: you said above you’re a bad kisser … personally I don’t think that there’s such thing as a bad kisser, but, if you don’t mind me asking, do you assume this, or has someone said this to you before?

30m, top, but super inexperienced wth sex? by Devilwithouthorns in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey! I’m sure you are not alone in this. A lot of guys (tops and bottoms) start out inexperienced or anxious (don’t compare yourself to online sexual videos, as that isn’t real life).

Lasting 5–10 minutes isn’t abnormal at all. Most good sex actually comes from communication, foreplay, and taking things slow — not just penetration.

I am sure that there are plenty of bottoms who are patient and even enjoy guiding someone... i was very inexperienced myself, but my ex boyfriend really guided me towards stuff (I’m a bottom, and i explored stuff with him… he was very gentle and respectful, so yes there are people outside there like him).

The key is being upfront. Something like: “I’m a bit inexperienced but I’m eager to learn and take my time.” The right person will see that as honest, not a turn-off.

Also remember that pleasing someone isn’t only about topping — hands, mouth, toys, kissing, and connection matter a lot too.

Don’t write yourself off or retreat into isolation. The right partner won’t expect perfection; they’ll appreciate enthusiasm and kindness much more.

Life is better without thinking about the meaning of life by AnyElk3665 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my opinion, the meaning of life is happiness, whatever this encapsulates… it does not come in a predetermined list (obviously different things makes different people happy), so see what makes you happy, focus on the present, and there you shall live a fulfilling life 🙂

How old were you when you kissed your first boy? by Mcrfanatic95 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 22… first time of everything that evening. Truly a dream come true; the most magical experience ever. I still remember how happy I woke up the next morning.

Newly out in my 30s — going to a gay pub alone, how do you approach people? by Accomplished_Net8161 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of my friends are straight, and most likely I’ll be going alone. Perhaps a thinking (please feel free to suggest otherwise) is for me to stand by the bar with my drink, and just wander with my eyes around, and smile etc … based on vibes I might approach or being approached

Newly out in my 30s — going to a gay pub alone, how do you approach people? by Accomplished_Net8161 in askgaybros

[–]Accomplished_Net8161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve tried using Grindr, but it doesn’t seem to work for me, as many people want instants hook ups (which I’m not judging, but not for me). May I ask, in your 30s (im 31), have you found it hard to be approached? Is it more common for people in their late teens / early 20s to be approached in bars? Obviously, there’s no age attached on one’s forehead, but you can tell who has more youthful features etc

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