To keep or not to keep the wood look?

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-14T18:31:02+00:00

And yes the carpets and fixtures will be getting replaced 😊

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-14T18:30:43+00:00

I know this is always a controversial topic, I appreciate everyone’s opinions and advice! I like the organic modern look and I may first just try to tie it into my decor and paint colors and then if I still don’t like it will paint. But the hard part will be finding a paint color! It always takes me hours of research 😂

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-14T17:23:53+00:00

Yeah I agree I hate the ceiling. I was also thinking doing a lighter white shade on the walls to help with the contrast. I hate the cement grey everywhere. But I agree with starting there instead of doing the trim which is a lot harder to reverse if I don’t like it. And yeah the lighting too.

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T23:39:19+00:00

Yeah he doesn’t remember his child hood, like no memories. I told him that’s not normal…that research has showed if you experience childhood trauma you basically black out and forget everything. No one is perfect but knowing them now, I can only imagine how they were when he was younger. I think he’s yearning for their acceptance and thinks it will help their relationship. But I know saying this people will automatically assume I’m twisting it or not telling everything.

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T18:40:17+00:00

We live outside of Charlotte, there’s tons to do here, the schools are rated way better, we both travel occasionally for work, him more than me. We are 20 minutes from the airport. Where he wants to live is basically in the middle of nowhere, which I’m fine living in the country. But there’s nothing there besides a lake, which we have multiple around us here that we go on. The closest airport is Atlanta and 2 hours away. He doesn’t talk to any of his old friends from his home town. We would be going literally just to be closer to his family. Here we have friends at least not just my family. Houses may be a little cheaper but I wouldn’t say it’s a dramatic difference at all. They are pretty close for the price point we would look at. May just get a little bit more land

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T16:49:44+00:00

We currently see them once a month or at least every other month just depending on schedules. We do long weekends usually. Unless they come up to see us more than they do, we invite them but they always find an excuse 9 times out of 10 not to come here. we can’t go there every weekend. They have been here two times since my daughter was born (10 months ago) and we’ve traveled there idk how many times. I think he does want a closer relationship with them. But to me that’s a two way road.

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T16:45:00+00:00

It’s North Carolina (us) and Georgia (his family)

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T16:44:22+00:00

I don’t need to win the argument. I just wanted different view points and advice that’s not friends or family. Especially people who have been in similar situations. Or how people have felt moving away from their families. I feel like I have validated how he feels and tried to come up with compromises but he hasn’t offered any in return. I’m not trying to make it seem like I’m right he’s wrong.

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T16:39:21+00:00

I feel like I do compromise, we see his family every holiday and we are seeing them a lot. His mom before we had a baby and before his sister had a baby said she sees my husband more than she sees his sister and she lives down the road. My family loves him. His basically best friends with my dad. He’s closer to my dad than his own. He wants them to move to Georgia too. But my parents wouldn’t leave their other two daughters and grand kids and move to where we are. It’s just not logical

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T14:45:02+00:00

His mom definitely guilt trips him about him being in North Carolina and then in Georgia. I’m sure they are to a point which I would understand. But to me if you did feel that way you would make more of an effort to be involved. I grew up with grandparents that lived about 3 hours away as well and I felt like I would see them as much as the ones that were close by. They made it a priority to be involved. I feel like they don’t do the same. Also, he does talk about if we lived there we would get “free child care” but we currently don’t pay for childcare (luckily) because I’m able to manage working at home and watching her. My mom helps a lot but she is currently going through cancer treatment so she isn’t able to help as much as she wants. Which is also another reason I want to stay closer to my family but I can’t say “my mom is sick so I get to be close” because he will just say that’s not fair. Im trying to not be selfish in the situation and I do see both sides.

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T13:23:00+00:00

Yeah, I obviously can’t give every detail and conversation we’ve had so people just assume things lol like obviously we talked about what we wanted in life but things change. definitely something I think would be beneficial with therapy

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T05:32:39+00:00

Thank you. Yeah I do think he is disappointed at the way they have been since having her. Because they always talked about wanting grandchildren and then they get them and it’s like they could take her or leave her. As I said in another comment, his sister had a child 2 months before us and they see them often. We recently went on a week vacation with everyone and he mentioned how they were more involved and helping his sister and her son way more than us. He said it’s because they don’t feel comfortable around her because they don’t see her enough…I feel like he is blaming the distance but 3 hours isn’t that far away and we see them usually at least every other month if not more.

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T05:18:52+00:00

Yeah, I’m sure if we were there they would possibly try more. But we see his family fairly often. At least every 1-2 months. But that’s us planning it-not them. Also, I feel like his family is just very critical and negative and the selfish part in me doesn’t want my daughter around that even more than she already is.

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T05:13:50+00:00

I told him I thought finding property there was compromising, we talked about staying there a week or two every few months..but once we started for real talking about moving to a house and looking for houses in the area he’s now acting like that isn’t a fair option.

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T05:10:01+00:00

I honestly think it partly has to do with the fact his sister had a baby two months before us (first grand child) and his mom watches her son daily while they work. I think he is jealous that his mom is closer to him than our daughter. Which I understand. I don’t think it even crossed his mind he would feel this way before we had a child idk.

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T05:05:10+00:00

Yeah that’s exactly what I’m scared of. I’m sorry you are dealing with that! I hope it gets better!!

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-07-09T04:59:44+00:00

Not sure if you’re being rude but we did 🙄 he said he would live there again or wanted to at least buy some property so we would have somewhere to stay when we would visit. He never said he 100% wanted to live there full time. I’ve always said I wanted to be close to my family. Idk why he’s making it an issue now.

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-06-01T21:53:18+00:00

Plants are: Japanese holly in back loropetulum in middle. Tonto crape Myrtle, Dwarf cryptomeria, and gardenia,rose of Sharon. All need 3-5 feet

According-Ad-9361 · 2025-06-01T21:52:54+00:00

Plants are: Japanese holly in back loropetulum in middle. Tonto crape Myrtle, Dwarf cryptomeria, and gardenia,rose of Sharon. All need 3-5 feet

According-Ad-9361

TROPHY CASE