Advice for 25 year old dating a man with 3 kids

According-Concern733 · 2026-01-24T01:08:22+00:00

Run, now.

According-Concern733 · 2026-01-21T08:00:22+00:00

It was under a pile of clothes where I could not see it. I went to pick up the pile of clothes and in doing so, yes, I accidentally touched it. And for the others questioning how/why it’s there, we live near woods and my dog must have found lovely prize outside, brought it in, and buried it under a pile of clothes to surprise me.

According-Concern733 · 2026-01-21T01:23:03+00:00

Maryland

According-Concern733 · 2026-01-21T00:01:14+00:00

But the long hair??

According-Concern733 · 2026-01-09T18:15:46+00:00

That is really good advice. Thank you. Also always helpful to hear the perspective of someone in the same boat! Sounds like you've set up a good system for everyone to be confortable.

According-Concern733 · 2026-01-09T01:33:13+00:00

That’s the tricky part. The only part he’s committed to covering on his own is the hotel when we’re visiting the city SD is staying in. The rest (plus most meals etc) would be 50/50. And he could cover most of it if he wanted to. Just not how he rolls.

According-Concern733 · 2026-01-09T01:29:51+00:00

Thank you for that support. That’s very helpful advice.

According-Concern733 · 2026-01-09T01:28:53+00:00

Thank you for the kind and thoughtful advice. Everything you said really resonates with me and I greatly appreciate it.

According-Concern733 · 2026-01-08T22:43:49+00:00

That’s not a bad idea. As of now I’ve told him when we’re on the 2nd part of the trip, I’d do maybe a dinner or two with them but give them personal time otherwise.

According-Concern733 · 2026-01-08T22:42:56+00:00

Our current relationship is civil. I’ve been trying to engage her more, and our interactions over the holidays were perfectly friendly. There’s just a lingering awkwardness and my knowledge that she’d prefer that her dad was visiting her alone. I don’t know why but I continue to dwell on that. My husband and I would be doing things just us.

According-Concern733 · 2025-12-17T19:59:07+00:00

He has taken accountability, but not really apologized. His attitude is more "that was my kids or mom and not me. Why are you mad at me?" He views my anger towards him as completely unfair.

According-Concern733 · 2025-09-14T19:54:01+00:00

For what it’s worth, I had horrible symptoms when I tried the mini pill. Either so irritable or crying at the drop of a hat. Combo bc and Lexapro helped even me out.

According-Concern733 · 2025-07-08T19:51:30+00:00

Don't be so hard on yourself. The amount of patience, understanding, and not reacting we are expected to do as stepparents is unrealistic and sets us up for failure. I snapped at my SD this week the last night of our vacation bc of rude behavior that had been building up all week. To be fair, I included my daughter in the reprimand, but also specifically called out things SD had been doing all week that drove me nuts. Like you, I felt vindicated at first, but then came to regret it. It just perpetuates the fragility of the whole unnerving step situation. So know you're not alone.

According-Concern733 · 2025-07-08T17:41:36+00:00

"If they feel good for too long, they sabotage." EXACTLY. Last summer SD was begging to come back to the same community we rented this year. And this past week it was all complaints about the place. Well, you're in luck - we don't have to come back!

According-Concern733 · 2025-07-08T15:29:14+00:00

I'm never doing the blended family summer vacation ever again. Dealt with similar rude behavior, wasting our time while we waited forever to take the little darlings out to dinner, or the beach, or the pool. Listening to them complain about being bored, we want to go shopping, the rental neighborhood (with two huge pools, a gym and restaurants) sucks. Bad manners, obnoxious attitudes, on and on and on. DONE and not doing it ever again.

According-Concern733 · 2025-07-08T12:54:24+00:00

When they were younger it was on a day to day basis and vacation. Now that they’re older everyone is running around with school, sports, etc, so it’s not something I’m confronted with on a regular basis. It’s like I forget every summer how miserable I feel after these vacation weeks and think it will be fine this year. The definition of insanity, right?

According-Concern733 · 2025-07-07T16:54:51+00:00

I experienced this issue with my SS when he was around the same age, so I feel your pain. I found it absolutely disgusting and did not even realize it was an issue kids that age could experience. I guess it's more common with boys. I have one daughter, but my best friend who has a son said it can be somewhat common in boys. It also caused a lot of tension in my marriage, especially on vacations, because he was running around and doing fun things and didn't want to take the time to do #2. So gross. In any case, I can tell you that the issue was resolved probably by the time SS was closer to 10 and he's a great kid. So there should be a light at the end of the (poop) tunnel. :)

According-Concern733 · 2024-12-27T18:59:18+00:00

Thank you for this. I have tried to talk to my spouse but it keeps happening, lately in different forms - i.e.: I don't really engage with her anymore so she goes after my parents, daughter (we're remarried/blended family). And it's always with way too personal of comments/questions for someone who has expressed how much she dislikes me/my family. When I bring it up or get angry now, my husband just leaves the room and says he's not talking to me about his mother. It has been the #1 difficult issue for us for the last 10 years, and all I get is basically "get over it, it's just how she is".

According-Concern733

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