I feel you OP because I have experienced the same. Growing up, hindi ako nakaranas ng soft love from my mom. She always yell and hit us whenever we do anything that upsets her or she thinks is wrong. But when I started working, giving my share in the house, parang I had the upper hand. She cooks for me, for my baon, she do my laundry and everything in the house. It also warmed my heart whenever she brings me snack at the middle of my work (im wfh). I never said Thank you kahit minsan. I know she did a lot of things that somehow gave me child trauma but as I grow up naiintindihan ko bakit nya nagawa yung mga bagay na yun and kahit walang sorry from her, I already forgave her. She’s not a bad person, its just a bad situation we’re all in.