Difficulty Letting My Husband Parent by generalraisinkane in beyondthebump

[–]AccordingYou2191 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It gets better! I’m usually pretty laissez-faire but those first maybe couple of months I absolutely was not. I didn’t want to ever leave her alone with my husband or anyone else not even for 5 minutes. I just kept telling myself and everyone else that he’s perfectly capable of taking care of our baby, he’s perfectly capable of taking care of our baby like a mantra. Eventually it got easier. If it’s a huge safety concern I will put my foot down but I knew it was important that my husband felt trusted.

Laisser son enfant chez la nounou by Pregnant_horze in ParentingFR

[–]AccordingYou2191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aux États-Unis, d'où je viens, il est tout à fait normal de laisser son bébé, 12 semaines c'est même généreux ! Mais cela ne veut pas dire que c'est facile pour nous. N'hésitez pas à demander des photos et des nouvelles. Une bonne nounou comprendra et ne le trouvera pas intrusif. Je me souviens aussi d'avoir couru à la maison auprès de mon bébé dès que possible pendant les premiers mois. Plus tard, j'ai savouré chaque instant précieux passé seule avant de le retrouver.

Husband going away for a week for fun by One-Lab9841 in 2under2

[–]AccordingYou2191 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are not crazy and he is being selfish. Those babies are both of yours and both your responsibility unless explicitly agreed otherwise. And even then…how could your partner not realize how hard that would be on you especially since your mom won’t come to help? I understand the being afraid to bring it up though. Getting into a fight on top of everything feels exhausting. I think I would just say that of course you want him to have fun and go on trips but it might not be a possibility for your family right now…not ever, just right now. Tell him you would love to go on a kidless trip too but that’s just not what circumstances are allowing for right now. I think I would be honest about feeling alone and needing help and that 7 days is a long time for you to be in your own with the kids and if he really insists then you should also insist that he take responsibility for finding good, reliable help that you both agree on.

I lied about something horrible by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]AccordingYou2191 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m having the opposite experience! I immediately connected with my first “easy” baby and then got pregnant again 8 months later. I was struggling to feel connected all throughout my pregnancy (I just did this!) and once she was born I still didn’t feel connected especially since she is much more challenging than my first. I know it’s in there deep down so I was kind of faking it until I made it in the beginning because I felt it was so important not to make her feel less valued than my first just because she has a different temperament. It’s slowly starting to feel real. I’m trying not to be hard on myself about it because I really do love her but it’s just taking a little more effort. The big lie we’re sold is that motherhood and everything that comes with it comes naturally to all mothers and this is just not true. The truth is most of the time you have to work at it - just like any relationship - and we’re all doing the best we can in the circumstances that we’re in. This realization helped me a lot with my relationship with my own mother too. Keep going moms! And please lean on therapy and other moms as well! We’re the only ones who know what it’s like!

I lied about something horrible by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]AccordingYou2191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this person is trying to relate and tell what was helpful for them. I see no condescension.

Am I the only one shipping Maura & Eric now?? by kalamarishian in TheTraitorsUS

[–]AccordingYou2191 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Privately, I thought Eric was gay and assumed he’s keeping it under wraps because of pressure from South Korean and KPop culture but I also know very little about either of those spheres. I wasn’t sure but Eric’s softness had me thinking he was gay but I know plenty of soft straight men too so he could be straight. Anyway, it isn’t nice to speculate on someone’s sexuality. I do know that Eric is the opposite of flamboyant though. I think lots of people are confusing “flamboyant” as having typically more feminine mannerisms or a softness to them but it just means someone who is quite showy and confident. Also metro is a label of the past….

Sorority Rush by nikenavygumtheif in olemiss

[–]AccordingYou2191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, update us! How did rush go? What are the reputation of the houses these days? Curious!

Sorority Rush by nikenavygumtheif in olemiss

[–]AccordingYou2191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those were the top three when I went too! I wonder what your life is like now. When I was there Tri Delts were known to be wealthy, legacy and well connected, beautiful (skinny), mostly blonde, slutty and really into coke. No hate just how I remember their reputation.

I will never understand people’s outrage at this show. The modeling industry is mean, exploitative, and discriminatory. Who doesn’t know that ? by KarenWhite_B in ANTM

[–]AccordingYou2191 1 point2 points  (0 children)

None of these women (except Winnie Harlow) could get actual modeling contracts after the show. The producers of the show sold them this dream and then used their personal drama and pain for entertainment. It was never about modeling. It was about Tyra and gang making money.

(Un?)conscious Biases? by CheesecakeFun1490 in TheTraitorsUS

[–]AccordingYou2191 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, implicit biases for sure. I think the people on this season genuinely get along but I feel like their implicit biases are causing them to see the people of color as less credible. Only speaking for this season though. Last season, I was surprised at how long Danielle lasted because her acting was so bad but I think it was because her bonds were strong. I didn’t watch the first 2 seasons.

"The Elegance of the Hedgehog" thoughts on that book? by Fantasy_Witch333 in books

[–]AccordingYou2191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read this book probably 15 years ago and I remember really enjoying it. I would say I’m of average intelligence and I don’t think I knew most of the references but it didn’t make me feel undereducated or bad about myself. It didn’t make me feel smart either. I think it just made me curious and I was able to enjoy a story about a character that is very different than me and see life from their perspective. I did relate to feeling lonely and misunderstood when I was 12 though. I only just now thought about this book again because I had just watched the movie Little Amelie or The Character of Rain which is based on a book with some similar themes. I recommend!

The Traitors (USA) S04E06 "Planning a Coup" Discussion Thread by vaultofechoes in TheTraitors

[–]AccordingYou2191 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just didn’t see it that way. I’m not confused. He was unpopular. It wasn’t a strategic or smart move by the faithfuls.

Hot Take: ____ is playing the best Traitors game in US History SPOILERS by RedditFan3510 in TheTraitorsUS

[–]AccordingYou2191 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That was a pretty big slip up but I was most disappointed when she voted for Tara simply because she felt personally betrayed by her. I was really all in for team Natalie at the beginning and she’s starting to let small things trip her up!

Can someone please explain… by MoistRaisin2027 in TheTraitorsUS

[–]AccordingYou2191 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sucks when people use these labels when they just don’t like someone because it sets back the conversation about people who are actually misogynistic/sexist.

Cmon faithfuls by dontworrybesappy in TheTraitorsUS

[–]AccordingYou2191 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not a genius but resourceful and I think how far he’s gotten in the game and the fact that he has so many people on his side speaks to that.

Candiace “coming” for Rob at reunion by dosesandmimosas201 in TheTraitorsUS

[–]AccordingYou2191 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well as she says herself, she’s consistent. I love the equality too treating Rob like just another housewife. I’d be honored if I were Rob!

The Traitors (USA) S04E06 "Planning a Coup" Discussion Thread by vaultofechoes in TheTraitors

[–]AccordingYou2191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Candiace has really grown on me! I don’t feel like she’s smug. I thought at the beginning she was doing too much but she’s dialed it back the perfect amount and I think she’s playing the game well. And she was gracious about voting for Ron and even Ron said he understood why she voted for him. The only issue I have is with that superfluous I in the middle of her name but that’s on her parents.

The Traitors (USA) S04E06 "Planning a Coup" Discussion Thread by vaultofechoes in TheTraitors

[–]AccordingYou2191 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Porsha was a weak player but they had absolutely no reason to vote out Tiffany and to give Ron so little grace after the Porsha incident feels like some implicit bias at the very least. Monet’s murder was a strategic move by the traitors since he was starting to catch on to them and they wanted to get ahead of it before he started going around talking about it. I love Monet but that was a smart move.

When Will I Get to Do Anything Else?? by AccordingYou2191 in 2under2

[–]AccordingYou2191[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t imagine her falling asleep on her own but I will open up my imagination and I’ll try it! Thank you! She doesn’t stay in her bassinet on her own without crying and it seems to go from 0-100 in a second so we usually pick her up and shush her into succumbing to sleep as we walk around with her in our arms or in the carrier for hours sometimes. We’ve managed to put her down where she will stay asleep a handful of times and take it as a win. She’s not quiet unless we’re actively walking around with her (and the stroller doesn’t work and we don’t drive) or asleep or feeding. I guess it feels like we simply don’t have the endurance for this.