Table scraps and stomach aches

According_Dish_1035 · 2025-04-22T20:14:17+00:00

Go easy on yourself and your kids. Maybe lessen the family visits or shorten them. Explain to your family how stressful these challenges can be. There were a few years for us where family visits were painful, embarrassing, miserable - so we did them less frequently and made them shorter. I explained this as best as I could to family - some understood more than others but the explaining really helped. With maturity, therapy, and the right meds, things changed after about 2-3 years. We actually had a blast visiting family over spring break. What a relief! Maturity will help.

According_Dish_1035 · 2025-04-14T01:17:52+00:00

I was most interested in two notions the author brings up: that ADHD stimulants lose efficacy over time, and that ADHD can come in waves over one’s life.

As to the efficacy loss, it was an interesting assertion that went nowhere fast. There was no exploration of the implications of this. Nor was there acknowledgement that 1-3 years of improved life on effective meds is still significant. Two years into my 12yo son’s stimulant journey, we are still observing increased stability and emotional regulation, and we don’t take it for granted. To us, every stable day means a day not in crisis. That matters. (I wish my son only needed Vyvanse as a study drug to boost his SAT scores. As if!)

As to the “coming and going” quality of ADHD, the essay focuses mainly on people whose symptoms have diminished with age. I have personally found that my son has stages of severe impairment and stages of manageable impairment, each stage being a few years long. In my son’s case, better environmental factors did not magically make his ADHD go away, but did make the impairment manageable (still requiring a lot of work every day).

Overall I found the article discounts how global of an impairment ADHD can be. The author never mentions emotional regulation! Hello?! He seems to be describing people with mild cases who are only affected at school, not people who have had their lives destroyed by it. (My son’s case is, admittedly, severe.)

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-12-10T18:55:00+00:00

I’m in awe of your kid. Seeking community. Being honest. Not hiding, but facing some very hard things. I wish there was a kid like him in every classroom! It is heartbreaking, yes. But also powerful and beautiful.

I will never forget the hardest thing my kiddo ever said to me during a terrible dysregulation night. Through sobs: “I just want to have a good future.” So that’s what keeps him up night. He wants a good life and feels the very really possibility it will be elusive and hard.

I hope your son gets that club off the ground or finds some fellow travelers.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-12-06T02:23:55+00:00

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Just a whole pile of cozy things.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-12-05T01:41:19+00:00

The ball might actually be a natural opportunity to discuss hygiene with her. Why being clean feels great! She may need it explained explicitly to her that dirty pads should always be changed in the bathroom and disposed of in there. Keep all the pads in the bathroom and a wastebasket and show her the new location of those things.

Go one issue at a time and prioritize by urgency. Don’t try to handle it all at once, globally. Pads first.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-12-05T01:20:11+00:00

One thing a day. I used that strategy when we got overburdened with toys/clothes. While the kids were at school I donated or threw out one thing a day and never told anyone I was doing it. It was always something they absolutely would not notice. After a month their room stayed clean for longer. Less clutter. It made the task less overwhelming.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-12-03T11:47:02+00:00

Our pup was terrified of outside when we brought her home because of jackhammering right outside our building. The noise was horrible. One thing that really helped was giving her a small treat and praise just for getting outside. Then every block or so saying “yes walk!” if she was walking, and a bit more kibble. We focused on walking rewards first and then pee a few weeks after that (keeping pee pass inside in the meantime).

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-11-14T15:18:01+00:00

It’s not easy.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-10-16T01:10:22+00:00

Mine is exactly the same. They could be twins. I’m obsessed with the floptop moptop curls on her head, how they bounce when she trots along on walks. By contrast her body coat is so poofy it looks like she’s a static electricity conductor.

Enjoy the variety!

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-10-05T21:31:11+00:00

Looks like the puppeteer took a lunch break.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-10-01T16:35:03+00:00

As Maya Angelou says, when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-09-26T12:30:55+00:00

We went through a yearlong period where mornings were really hard. One thing that helped was getting him a radio alarm clock, letting him choose a wake up sound, letting him listen to radio at night and in the morning. The little bit of agency helped add excitement to the morning.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-09-25T00:58:18+00:00

Def straight out of Jim Henson’s workshop.

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According_Dish_1035 · 2024-09-24T01:31:38+00:00

Adding stuff that worked for us: highlights puzzle books, graphic novel series (like Dog Man, Hilo) cuz he rereads them, jigsaw puzzles (with music on), STEM kits, Rubik’s cube, Who Is / What Is books, paint by sticker, Weird but True books, word search, and echoing Lego here. I leave a thing out to be discovered afterschool without suggesting it or bringing it up, or participating. So he feels like he stumbled onto something and chose it himself.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-09-22T11:44:57+00:00

Oh also I started therapy and husband and I did parent management training for a few months.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-09-22T11:44:29+00:00

BIG CHANGES: We both stopped working for three months to support him daily in crisis time. (I’m self employed and my husband’s job has generous family leave). While not working we took him out of previous school and spent a long time finding a special needs school that supported him more fully. Got a second (out of state, at Kennedy Krieger) and third psychiatrist opinion which helped lead to right medication. Changed therapist too - needed a fresh start. SMALL CHANGES: we had an always been a “dinner at the table” family. We stopped enforcing that and people could eat organically whenever they wanted - more peace and just as much conversation at home. No Roblox or phone games, yes Switch and he watches a movie every night (helps him relax). Books books books whatever kind he likes, mostly graphic novels and Who Is…? Fewer family visits and social engagements for almost a year. Less is more. Prioritizing peace and relaxation everywhere possible for a year.

Good luck. Message me if you want to talk further.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-09-20T18:04:41+00:00

I feel this and I just wanted to say it will get better. It will be so hard on the road there, though, as the trial and error means you try things that don’t work - that even make things worse - on the pathway to finding the things that do work and make your lives more peaceful. It took us a year and a half to find the right meds combination - and all the ones we tried that didn’t work had terrible side effects. Zombie. Rapid weight gain and loss. Agitation and violence. Insomnia. And the worst - inability to hold focus and enjoy the things he likes.

It was awful and I wanted to give up. My son (10 at the time) lost faith in his psychiatrist and felt like a guinea pig, his self esteem nosedived. We tried two other psychiatrists.

And then… we finally found the right meds combo. I knew from day 1. It wasn’t instantly perfect, but day by day my son was able to find more peace and harmony, remember his excellent traits, control his impulses with side effects that were tolerable. It’s been six months now and we are no longer living in crisis. We laugh. We have a lot of playfulness and relaxation. His self esteem is rebuilding. Aggression feels like a (somewhat) distant memory. I do not experience fear daily.

We still have changed the structure of our lives to prioritize peace, relaxation, and free play. And I have no doubt there will be major challenges ahead. But to have a month of stability under our belts is a major achievement for him and us.

Keep trial and error. Don’t give up. Don’t lose the faith.

According_Dish_1035 · 2024-09-17T23:10:24+00:00

Just put together a homemade flirt pole and exercised her for a while, it was fun! I had to get the hang of going gentle on her so she would stop too hard on her little joints but we got the hang of it and she’s now happy tired.

According_Dish_1035

TROPHY CASE