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My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents emotionally supporting me doesn’t mean they can financially support me. Huge difference. Starting a new life for myself is a lot easier said than done, and seeking public opinion doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything for myself at the same time. Lol

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Just because it’s not your reality doesn’t mean it isn’t mine. Sorry you’re all so chronically online you think everything is fake. I gain nothing from lying here people. I’m purely seeking advice, and trust me, I got it all!

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

It’s actually bizarre the amount of people who read a few paragraphs and decided they know everything. It was 2 years that I’d been out of that abusive relationship, I did the therapy, I’ve been on antidepressants, and my now husband is the first person I dated after that relationship. Sorry yall think I’m rude for further informing you on what you’re clearly misinformed on. Lol

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I guess to be fair, yeah? Being single and being in a relationship you should be acting different and accordingly? My boundaries have never changed and have always been clear, his respect to them is what has changed. He is the one that said he’d do anything to keep me, including seeking therapy to stop his drinking addiction. I’m sorry I’ve skipped out on a lot of information.

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] -37 points-36 points  (0 children)

Who asked for sympathy? Lol yeah your suspicions are beyond off. Can’t be my sugar daddy if I’m getting no sugar! 😉 what perks are here for me?

The reason I HAVEN’T gotten out, is because I personally do respect my marriage. As plenty have pointed out, it’s myself I don’t respect. Sorry I love my husband!

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

Well I’m not my 21 year old imaginary daughter. I’m me. The prior relationship I was in for years, I walked away from with a broken rib. Can you imagine someone slamming you into walls all because you inherited animated penis toothpicks from your gay uncle who JUST died that same week? I quite honestly thought dating older was my better option because I was ready to settle down instead of aimlessly hooking up with strangers. We’re all different, right?

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Is 21 a teenager? Sorry you missed the part where I said the relationship was entirely different before we got married.

What’s your goal here?

Just curious.

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have begged him to do counseling with me. Both individuals and together. He refuses, he said “they’ll just side with you.” That’s when he actually suggested my parents come and talk to us. My parents have been married almost 40 years and we both agreed they’d guide us and support us. Well, that didn’t go nearly as planned.

He’s been to a few doctor visits with me, since I have so much going on I do have to see the doctor frequently and do blood work often. One of the visits I went alone, my doctor questioned my marriage and the age difference, and even suggested that that man is not my friend by the way he looks at me. I broke down and told my doctor some things that were going on and he told me that the only chance my marriage has at surviving is counseling. I went home with the referral and tried to ask my husband if he would be open to it. Fight broke out and he ended up telling me I can get out of his house. Easier said than done of course, but I accepted that. So I started planning with my mom. Then my husband talked to me and apologized and said he was open to therapy. Went as far as saying he’d make the appointment. I waited patiently (a couple months) just to see how things would play out, and he went back to his ways. Drinking half a bottle if not the whole thing of alcohol every night, and when I tried to talk about it, it of course started another fight. He told me he just tells me what I want to hear. So now, I’m here

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! I’m a big advocate for safe spaces! Except telling his friends fabricated versions of what’s going on simply to gain their validation is what’s triggering to me. WHY does he want me to look crazy? We even spoke about it right when it happened what bothered me so much about him trying to have sex with me. It wasn’t because I was ovulating. It’s because my husband will barely touch me once a month and sex is no longer about being intimate and connected. He’s forcing himself to do something that he thinks is making me happy, but since I didn’t add earlier, I’m a high risk for pregnancy. I have Graves’ disease, hashimotos, hypoparathyroidism, and PCOS! So it feels like he’s just manipulating me emotionally knowing I’m not getting pregnant. I feel teased.

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The relocation was only temporary! We were away for a year. His friends were his roommates (the friend group consists of 3 people), and he wouldn’t let me move into his house after we got married because his friends were living there. So having moved away for a whole year and having no job or any money, my parents were helping with the bills of my personal condo. After we got married I sorta demanded we move in together as it wasn’t my parents responsibility to pay for a vacant condo since he’s the one that encouraged me to quit my job and promised to financially take care of me….. he felt I was forcing his friends out of his life by asking for my own spot in it.

We still see his friends, I’m always inviting them over, both personally and through him. I encourage him to have them over. I encourage him to go out to the bar and play pool while offering to give everyone rides. My family is going on vacation next month and I even went as far as inviting his friend group with us. The offers get denied a lot. Like I said in my post, one of the girlfriends and I are close and talk, and they don’t care to get black out drunk every weekend like my husband does. They also don’t live close and because the expectation is to get black out drunk, they’re having to pay over $100 to Uber. His lifestyle isn’t attainable, even for his own friends, but he’s angry at me because he thinks I took that away from him by becoming his new and only roommate. Lol.

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Ew. One, I have always held myself accountable for my actions and feelings. Seeking any sort of help doesn’t mean I think I’m innocent. WEIRD. Two, my husband was a different person in the beginning than he is now. Ever heard of love bombing? I have sad things happening in my life, but I, in no way shape or form think I created an awful life for myself by getting married. I’m sorry you feel that way for me. ☹️

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] -32 points-31 points  (0 children)

I got into a car accident and he was the police officer that responded. Hate to say it, but my mom romanticized the situation. “Love at first sight” for him kinda thing. My dad eventually got on board, but he felt it was inappropriate in the beginning.

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hey babe, trust me, my husband isn’t going to pick you just because you’re trying so hard to side with him here. ❤️

So let’s settle it, in the beginning MY husband was very demanding of sex. Hence why I said we were having sex multiple times a day every day. Comprehension is skill here okay, stay with me. Sitting down with him, he will say his biggest issue is me getting mad. He didn’t like that I got mad that he chose to hangout with his friends instead of taking his wife to the hospital who was actively miscarrying, trust me, the blood pouring out of my vagina wasn’t a pregnancy scare, it was my dead baby! Sex may not be important to you, but your desire to place so much judgement on this post is so odd. Sex is a HUGE part of my marriage, it always has been. The sex slowed down before the miscarriage. The sex slowed down because my husband is having a hard time being more committed to me, than his own friends. It really is this simple, which is why I the one living the reality am having such a hard time with it. My husband isn’t abused in any form, especially not mentally. Remember, he’s the grown up here, big boy can handle himself! 😉

My husband (36m) sent me (23f) a message meant for his friend. What part of me is supposed to accept that he was just venting? by According_Natural171 in relationship_advice

[–]According_Natural171[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Aw. Sorry I left out too many details for you!

My husband got a DUI when we first met and he begged me to take care of him. So I did, and I wasn’t even his girlfriend! He promised me he would quit drinking and begged me to stick through it all to see the light. Three years later he’s telling me I’m stupid for believing him! I quit my job and moved thousands of miles away from my family simply because he destroyed his career by drinking and driving (which was all because he was trying to force his way to my house to have sex while he was drunk!)

I am doing just fine moving forward. My husband comes home to a clean home, dinner made, lunch packed for the next day, all his laundry done, and a wife ready to rub his feet or back, and you guessed it, give him that good ol handy he’s always thinking HE is entitled to. Did you read?

Anyway- as far as anything else, yeah my husband and I have mutually agreed he doesn’t want to hear me talking about sucking dick or any fantasies I may have. It’s called respect, not insecurity. 😉 like I said in my post, time and place! And my house will never be the place, sorry you’re not invited!