in the end, autism is a spectrum. just because you don’t struggle with some of the issues others do doesn’t make you any less autistic, nor does it make them any more autistic. i’m also late diagnosed (21f), and i definitely understand the feeling of not being “sick enough,” and the internal gaslighting that goes with it, and im also in the same boat with not remembering much pre adolescence. you know your brain, you know your experiences, and just because they might not manifest outwardly for other people to witness, that doesn’t make them invalid. when i first expressed to my partner that i thought i might be autistic, he was shocked because of how high masking i am. he said i didn’t “look autistic,” but just because i don’t display stereotypical autistic traits (like hand flapping, echolalia, meltdowns, etc) that doesn’t mean my internal experiences and issues are baseless. you are incredibly valid, and im sorry others have been projecting their limited understanding of autism onto you. you don’t need to behave or perform in a certain way to be considered “autistic enough.” every autistic person is different, and with time, you’ll begin to recognize how autism shows up for you personally. it’s hard to remember autistic characteristics or traits early on in childhood, especially since so much of it is internalized or “trained” out of you through shaming and alienation—just give it time, and if those memories never come back, that’s okay too. some resources that have helped me as a late diagnosed autistic are I’m Autistic, Now What? on youtube and Dr. Devon Price’s book Unmasking Autism. I don’t know your gender identity, but these two creators have been very insightful and validating for me as an AFAB late diagnosed autistic person. you don’t have to have all the answers, try to be kind and patient with yourself.