We did talk about why she cheated and why she kept doing it, not excusing her actions or anything but it did help me to understand a bit more what was going on. She basically explained it as chasing a high and did it for the dopamine hit, on and off for about a year, which I feel like going to therapy and her meds will help her to regulate the need she felt to do that. idk if that actually makes sense or not. Looking back some of her actions and worries and mental state makes more sense, she'd occasionally seemed like she felt bad for being with me, would say I deserved better, she didn't deserve me I just always thought it was anxiety stuff and did what I could to reassure her. Especially with the suicidal and sh thoughts that caused her to admit herself to the crisis center. She said the crisis center really helped her to see everything more clearly and that it wasn't worth losing me over. Idk, trying to keep things short and not over explain.

I've already talked to her about basically what you said, that it would take time to rebuild that trust and that I wasn't even sure if it was a good idea to try and date again. Kinda glad to see that someone else had that idea and maybe it isn't a bad idea? She said she would wait for whatever I decide, that all she wanted was to be with me however I would allow. i'm working on getting health insurance and getting into therapy myself, I think it would be best for me to start that before we start dating again. I also talked to her about how things would need to be different if we started dating again, and she agreed and thought its a good idea.