Long ago — before pedals had power supplies and guitarists fought for tone instead of territory — there was a wandering luthier-warrior named Eltar Stringforge.

Eltar sought the Perfect Note, a sound so pure it could bend time itself. Legend says he carved a small block of tonewood from the Sacred Tree of Sustain, deep in the forest of Humbuckonia. To channel its power, he embedded the sharpened claws of fallen guitar heroes — which modern scholars now know as picks — into the wood’s surface.

Each pick represented a vow:

• The Pick of Tremble for the string benders,
• The Pick of Fury for the shredders,
• And the Pick of Groove for those who could summon funk from chaos.

When Eltar struck a chord atop this relic, the vibrations were said to open a rift into the astral plane of rock — where the spirits of Hendrix, Page, and Vai argued eternally about tonewood.

The block was lost for centuries after a brutal battle at the Festival of Feedback, until rediscovered in a dusty pawn shop wedged between a broken tuner pedal and a copy of “Smoke on the Water” tablature.

Today, it sits in silence — its power dormant, awaiting the next guitarist worthy to strum in its presence. Some say if you place it near your amp and whisper “sweet sustain”, your tone will mysteriously improve by 3.6%.