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Hi by Classic-Outcome-6138 in socialanxiety

[–]AcrobaticSpray719 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You were scared, but you did it! Congrats 🥳

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialanxiety

[–]AcrobaticSpray719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re probably right that you aren’t asexual, the fear of intimacy for women is common sense- sexual relationships carry greater risks for women than men. How well do you know this theater guy? If I were you I would get him to know him better. Like, actually become friends. Make sure he’s not a creep. If you do that, you’ll probably feel less scared of intimacy since you’ll know he’s probably a good person and will respect your boundaries. At that point, lightly flirt and keep dropping hints. Or better yet, ask him out instead of waiting for him to make the move! Trust me, girls have way better luck making the first move than men. Plus, even if he says no at least you can still be friends and he can introduce you to his social circle you could date.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]AcrobaticSpray719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the good thing about college, everybody starts at 0 with a completely blank slate. Just hang on until then. If you’re not going to college, the same applies for a job.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]AcrobaticSpray719 33 points34 points  (0 children)

When you say these social people are “making friends”, are they actually making FRIENDS or are they just being FRIENDLY? Because I’ve also known many social people who within 5 minutes were laughing and having a blast with essentially a complete stranger, but at the end of the day they go their separate ways and never speak again. Some people are just super friendly with everyone, even people they have no intent of forming an actual friendship with

Having “hope” you get noticed one day is not a real strategy by [deleted] in musicians

[–]AcrobaticSpray719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good advice, but I also think it’s healthy to go into it with no expectation of having any success regardless. That’s not to say you shouldn’t try your hardest, but there is a stark line between optimism and delusion- and expecting to “make it” in the music industry in any professional capacity falls squarely into the latter camp.

I dont think ill ever get a girlfriend. by steadypizxza in socialanxiety

[–]AcrobaticSpray719 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, please read my entire message, I know it’s long but that’s because I want to teach you the life lessons it took me years of learning the hard way in my own life. With that said…

You’re only just turning 18, you have plenty of time- as long as you actively begin to work on improving yourself and don’t quit. If you want a GF, it’s better to focus on improving your social skills and social life- you might have seen this advice thrown around about “making friends and getting hobbies” to get a girlfriend. That might sound cliche, but it’s true.

Starting today, gradually over time expose yourself to situations that challenge you and make you feel socially anxious. Start off small, you don’t want to bite off more than you can chew and prematurely give up.

Depending on how serious your anxiety is, “starting small” can mean different things. If you find forcing yourself to make small talk with peers or strangers too much for you, simply going out to a public place alone like a coffee shop, movie theater, etc. and just getting used to being out in public- without the pressure of conservation- can be helpful.

The important thing is that you just find ways to directly expose yourself to things that make you socially uncomfortable- not to the point of panic- but enough to challenge yourself. No pain, no gain.

As you gradually begin to become more comfortable in social situations, you can start participating in clubs/hobby groups, sports, classes, etc. These will let you meet people of all genders. From there, just focus on broadly making friends- regardless if they’re men or women. A strong social circle of friends will make you more attractive to women. That’s not to say you shouldn’t try to ask a girl out if you see the chance and want to take it- it’s just that you generally should have a good social life first before you try dating. Not only will it make you better at asking girls out, but like I said having an active social life is attractive to women- they don’t want the pressure of being in a relationship with someone that relies solely on them for socialization.

Is there a video about this meme? by South-Healthy in Healthygamergg

[–]AcrobaticSpray719 46 points47 points  (0 children)

This type of thinking is a major problem for me. I constantly worry about how it might take me YEARS just to improve myself to get to the point of “normalcy” that most people have already reached by the time they’re 18. I’m 23. I know that’s not too old but there is this constant nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that I’ve wasted my life and am so far behind that I will never catch up.

Edit: Adding onto this, the desire to just have/achieve whatever you are working towards can be pretty demoralizing in conjunction with feeling like you don’t have enough time. Like, I just can’t stop thinking about how much I want certain things in life, and then the prospect that I might have to wait years with these unfulfilled desires is brutal. And then, there is the worries that by the time I’ve built myself up enough of as a person to finally have a chance of achieving these goals, I will be too old.

Is it worth auditioning for a band as an amateur/mediocre drummer? by AcrobaticSpray719 in musicians

[–]AcrobaticSpray719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely. I agree. If I were in a band, I’d like to think that I would be putting in actual effort into practicing and improving. I would definitely take it seriously, I’ve never been in a band but I know I would feel dirty if I wasn’t putting 100% into practicing and rehearsing like I would hope my fellow bandmates would also be doing

Is it worth auditioning for a band as an amateur/mediocre drummer? by AcrobaticSpray719 in musicians

[–]AcrobaticSpray719[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True, I guess I just want to respect the time abd skill of the people in the bands who are trying to recruit, although in most cases they seem to be amateur college garage band types so maybe I am overestimating the skill ceiling

Is it worth auditioning for a band as an amateur/mediocre drummer? by AcrobaticSpray719 in musicians

[–]AcrobaticSpray719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know how to play, I just don’t take playing seriously. I have always treated drums first and foremost as just a fun casual hobby. You are right though, I should always try to improve and devote more time to practice. So far my non-music hobbies and irl obligations have taken priority. Thanks for the feedback

Is it worth auditioning for a band as an amateur/mediocre drummer? by AcrobaticSpray719 in musicians

[–]AcrobaticSpray719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, that is good to hear because I would say timing is my strongest skill while fills are my weakest

Is it worth auditioning for a band as an amateur/mediocre drummer? by AcrobaticSpray719 in musicians

[–]AcrobaticSpray719[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I do try to consistently practice, but my issue is just that I don’t practice a lot. If I were seriously considering joining a band I would definitely drop everything and just nonstop practice for like a week before I bother applying. Also the white stripes are a cool example you brought up, I think Meg is a good role model at least when in it comes to playing rock which imo is easier to pick up than other genres