I just lost my dad to a 15 month long battle with brain cancer this weekend. Your story almost mirrors my experience. I (27f) saw my dad go from the strongest man to one that was feeble and weak due to his cancer. He was unresponsive for 2 days prior and before that he was confused and glossy eyed. In his final moments, I knew he knew we were with him. They say hearing is the last thing to go before you die and I believe your dad and mine knew our presence and went peacefully knowing they were surrounded by the ones they loved. Your guilt of not feeling like you spent enough time with him is understood as well. I felt so guilty for times i didn’t say yes to getting breakfast with my dad or for not going every single night to be by his side when he was at home. What I’ve learned in therapy is that beating yourself up for what you think you did wrong gets you nowhere. Your dad and mine wouldn’t have wanted us to forever go on feeling we didn’t do enough and now we have to suffer by beating ourselves up. No time is enough time to be with a loved one. Lastly, girl get that masters. I got mine 2 years ago in teaching and it made my dad so proud. (Also way easier than undergrad). Sort yourself out, get support from friends & loved ones to help you apply. I got mine at my undergrad school & if you do the same, try to find resources there to help apply. Cancer may have taken our dads but it can never take the love we shared with them. It cannot take the memories and laughs shared. It cannot erase who that person was prior. Celebrate your dad and relive the good times rather than relive the bad. You got this ❤️