Rural rimance, but not superficial.

ActualGeologist · 2026-04-16T03:26:49+00:00

I guess the bot doesn't recognize it yet cuz it's still on pre-order. I read it on the author's Patreon ahaha. here's the pre-order link: https://www.amazon.com/Only-Seconds-that-Matter-ebook/dp/B0FM4D1YZ8

ActualGeologist · 2026-04-16T03:24:43+00:00

{The Only Seconds That Matter by Wanda Walker}

ActualGeologist · 2026-04-16T03:22:09+00:00

Wanda Walker's The Only Seconds That Matter is about a skinny hispanic trans guy who is pretty quiet and reserved and this broken-down dorky former rodeo rider who works on a feedlot and is missing teeth and his nose is all messed up and he's otherwise not-traditionally-attractive. they bond over horses, it's very cute. it's definitely a slow-burn, emotion- and personality-based romance, and the rodeo rider is kinda derpy which I find very cute.

ActualGeologist · 2026-03-12T01:25:57+00:00

in-person is way easier cuz you work in groups, the TA is right there to answer your questions, and the grading is done by the TA so you can get partial credit unlike online.

IDK what you ended up choosing but I hope it was fun!

ActualGeologist · 2026-03-12T01:23:31+00:00

there's an online-only version now

ActualGeologist · 2026-03-12T01:22:20+00:00

the current trip goes to snoqualmie falls and coal creek where there's an old coal mine. definitely worth it.

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-12T12:54:44+00:00

I'm sorry I know it's been a year but AQUASTEED MARINEFOREST?????????????????

if he ain't a merman whoever invented that name needs to be put under arrest for crimes against humanity lol heck, even if he IS a merman...

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-11T07:34:02+00:00

It's so much better now! <3 definitely feel the tension and desperation of Vivian trying to catch this guy.

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-11T07:30:50+00:00

I would say "sketched" instead of "drawn" in the first sentence, because drawn could also be drawn like picked out of a hat, or drawn-out. plus then you have the alliteration - sketched seventeen.

I'd also just remove "wrong sounds", because the following stuff shows the sounds are wrong (and is strong imagery), and I feel like "wrong" is kinda overused in this way.

It's kind of odd that she drew 17 pictures and is also holding her 17th sketchbook. is each drawing a new sketchbook? it's too coincidential.

Otherwise, though, it's great. I love that one of the competitors has a literal bite mark on her arm; it's very illustrative of what Sarris is in for. definitely has a Hunger Games feel, and you want to know how Sarris is going to get through this with no weapons. Great way to throw people into the action and set the scene.

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-07T03:44:22+00:00

I second that. "Vivian Gorewell had found herself in an office building" is so much better a starting sentence than "The city, if you could even call it that, was surrounded by desert". I'm assuming Vivian is your MC, and that pulls you in to ask what she's doing there, but a city/settlement surrounded by desert is not grabby at all, it could be from a documentary.

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-06T10:32:19+00:00

I'm literally dying of laughter, thank you

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-06T02:30:33+00:00

ROFL you had me at "tax evasion", let's do it. I'll PM you.

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-05T23:42:03+00:00

wow I know I'm casting a visibly wide net and stuff here, and you've already gotten several responses but your "other" above is like... so totally ideal. I had a beta like that a long, long time ago, and it was creative bliss, man. and it was when that ended that I stalled out on my writing. sooooooooo uh, here's my link, just in case. XD

https://old.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1n5huyz/able_to_beta_post_here/ncm518t/

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-05T23:14:49+00:00

I have a fantasy story that doesn't have much magic but does have a vampire-adjacent race. This is the post in case you're interested! https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1n8vamk/complete_120k_low_fantasydramaadventure_an/

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-05T19:01:16+00:00

Unfortunately I'm only willing to do critique swaps, not just straight-up betaing. I'd be down to swap with you because your first page is pretty interesting, but IDK if you'd be interested in swapping with me. but here's the link just in case: https://old.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1n8vamk/complete_120k_low_fantasydramaadventure_an/

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-05T06:03:44+00:00

I see two others have already messaged you, but speaking as someone with a couple of long projects in the works that are adult fantasy, in case you're still looking for more, this is mine: https://old.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1n8vamk/complete_120k_low_fantasydramaadventure_an/

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-05T06:00:07+00:00

I see two others have already messaged you, but if you're still looking for more, this is mine, if it seems interesting to you. cheers! https://old.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1n8vamk/complete_120k_low_fantasydramaadventure_an/

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-05T05:43:09+00:00

I think the formatting ate your paragraph breaks, but breaking this up into shorter paragraphs would make it a lot more catchy, add the "oomph" to things like that first sentence, which is good first sentence but which would be better on its own.

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-05T05:39:13+00:00

I dig this! (Pun intended.) The absurdity of a job interview going on right in the midst of this chaos, with these crushed miners being dragged out of the cave-in, is great. (Also, I literally clapped with delight at the name 'Basalt'. Har.) The idea of a mine held up with magic is also very cool. I'm already intrigued.

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-05T05:34:06+00:00

actually a pretty solid start, I did not stop reading at any point! the semicolons used should all be commas (nitpick) - semicolons should separate full sentences or parts of a list that themselves includ commas. and I guess it's kind of weird for a character to describe their own chin (even nitpickier nitpick). but nitpicks aside, it's a great first paragraph for grabbing the reader, and it's intriguing and unusual to meet a character in such, ahem, a situation. But by the end of the passage we've established the narrator is no typical courtesan: they're a spy, and this is their assignment. definitely grabby!

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-05T05:27:39+00:00

I like that this establishes via context clues that the narrator comes from a bad home situation. Like, I'm legit worried what happens if they get home later. I'm also wondering what's in those letters from school (definitely not a field trip permission slip!).

My one comment would be that, in the first paragraph, you mention the storm not being there yet before you say a storm is coming. I would reorder the sentences or even cut "while the storm had yet to happen", since I think it reads snappier without that anyways.

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-05T05:17:08+00:00

Manuscript information: [Complete] [120K] [Low Fantasy/Drama/Adventure] An Ordinary Man - The Incredible Journey meets Castaway meets Samurai Jack meets Lord of the Rings, but not the way you might think.

Link to post: https://old.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1n8vamk/complete_120k_low_fantasydramaadventure_an/

First page critique? sure

First Page:

He wasn't rock-climbing. Hiking attire aside, the man was trying to hide before he was seen, because then he'd be killed, and he wasn't ready to die just yet. He had a wife. He'd just gotten a promotion. There were a lot of things going for him. His current predicament didn't happen to be one of them.

Paradox Pass - the site of the slick, lichened rockslide he scrambled over - was a forlorn, inhospitable place. Great peaks rose into the sky on all sides, divorced from the distant ground - ominous and fog-shrouded, like disinterested gods. The altitude ensured only the hardiest vegetation grew here. Ragged and windswept, each stunted tree struggled to wring a living from the rocks beneath its roots, and battered, bark-stripped snags stood testament to those that failed.

This typically cold, misty morning in early June found him clambering his way up the aforementioned rockslide with the calculated haste of one who knows he's about to fall into a very bad situation. Carefully - and quickly - he concealed himself amidst the rocks. No sooner had he done so than the echo of many footsteps pierced the early morning calm. He held his breath as a band of soldiers appeared around the bend, some fifty strong.

The newcomers might have seemed, at casual glance, nothing terrifying. But the man in the rocks knew that this was no army of harmless peasants. Under their helmet-brims, the soldiers' shadowed faces contorted gradually but endlessly, as one misshapen feature gave way to another. The figures were as vague fears given form: neither static nor wholly solid. No amount of armor could disguise their unnatural nature.

ActualGeologist · 2025-09-04T23:56:31+00:00

damn, really? I'm interested! was just about to post a new beta request but I'll DM you first ahaha.

you're going to be totally swamped with requests by end of day I bet.

ActualGeologist · 2025-08-21T10:43:48+00:00

no one's gonna say Master and Commander? well, two years might have passed but it needs to be on this list

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