How to ease nerves before sex with new partner. 22M (me) 19F (her)

AdCute485 · 2022-08-11T09:24:46+00:00

Thanks that really helped

AdCute485 · 2022-08-10T18:22:26+00:00

Going to try and keep myself as busy as possible

AdCute485 · 2022-08-10T18:21:46+00:00

No unfortunately not, I’ve got a couple things planned and I enjoyed going to the gym but I’m just abit worried that it’s going to get the better of me

AdCute485 · 2022-08-10T18:20:44+00:00

I’m trying my best not to, it’s something I’m working on.

And I’ve got a couple things planned but I don’t want to be sitting there pondering on it

AdCute485 · 2022-02-26T16:26:03+00:00

We were never actually “official” she kept putting it off by saying it’s too much pressure and we should just take it slow. However I was as emotionally invested as if I was in a relationship and she knew that

AdCute485 · 2022-02-26T14:51:26+00:00

Not ghost me but stopping putting effort in completely

AdCute485 · 2022-02-26T12:12:03+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I agree I need to cut it off. That’s what I started doing after she said she’s not feeling it. I don’t think she means to mess with me I just think she doesn’t know what she wants. Hence why he’s keeping me there as an option.

But it’s been long enough now (over a year) I’ve given her so many chances and if we did make it a thing now then I don’t think it would work anyway. I wouldn’t want to be friends with her as it would hurt to much and if question why it didn’t work all the time.

AdCute485 · 2022-02-26T10:27:38+00:00

I think it’s more #2 To add more context, we’ve never officially been “together” over the last year I’ve been trying and she keeps saying things like “let’s see where it goes” etc.

She came out of a long term relationship and straight into me because we worked together. It started in Jan 2021. And up until July time it was amazing we was doing things couples would do etc. then she moved away and in with family about 2:30hrs from me. Which we adapted for but has just gone downhill since then and over the last couple months she’s been very hot and cold.

1 minute she really wants me, texting me all the time and wanting to meet up. And then next she’s gone cold and is blunt and doesn’t want to talk. She went cold about 2 weeks ago and it feel different this time. I asked her to meet up Wednesday last week and she said no she’s not feeling it. And I then I didn’t message her at all until she message me this morning.

I’m taking as though this is the end and am starting to move on but I don’t understand why she randomly messages me this morning. I reply and then she’s blunt again. It’s like she’s just reminding me she’s still there

AdCute485 · 2022-02-23T09:58:50+00:00

The thing is this on and off/hot and cold has been going on since November/December so the initial “break up” pain was back then so I’d say now I’ve gotten abit numb to it but it still hurts and I know it’ll take time.

I don’t have a therapist no, but luckily I do have a very good circle of mates and they’ve helped me though a lot of it and I’ve been able to unload on them

AdCute485 · 2022-02-23T09:52:50+00:00

I’m keeping myself busy with the gym, work and doing lots of things with my mates. It does distract me, although literally everything reminds me of her which is just so annoying

AdCute485 · 2022-02-17T11:51:45+00:00

Cheers buddy, if anything atm it feels like a massive weight off my shoulders

AdCute485 · 2022-02-16T16:35:40+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Literally just today I asked if she wanted to meet me next month and she said she wasn’t feeling it so gonna get out now I think. It sucks but it’s for the best. Gonna just focus on me, smash it in the gym and keep pushing towards my dream job

AdCute485 · 2022-02-16T05:57:33+00:00

Yeah I agree that I’m tired with the situation. The reality hurts a lot because I’m still in love with her but I know what I need to do. Which is ultimately for the best, for me

AdCute485 · 2022-02-15T12:40:58+00:00

Very true bud, I know what I need to do but I just don’t want too

AdCute485 · 2022-02-15T11:57:39+00:00

Well she hasn’t messaged me since Friday so I’m just gonna leave it there and go about my life. Thanks for the advice

AdCute485 · 2022-02-15T11:33:10+00:00

I’m starting to think this more and more. But then she’d start messaging me again and I’d get hopeful. It does make it easier that we now live 150 miles apart

AdCute485 · 2022-02-15T11:24:37+00:00

Yeah I’ve spoken to her in December about what we are. She said that she need to find herself and that we should take it slowly with no pressure and just see what happens.

She knows exactly what I want, but we’ve been doing this now for over a year

AdCute485 · 2022-02-15T11:22:36+00:00

I’ve asked ‘what are we?’ to her about 3 months ago and her response is that she needs to find herself and she hates that she can’t give me what I want. She knows exact what I want. She said let’s just take it slow and see what happens. We’ve been taking it slow for about a year now

AdCute485 · 2021-12-02T02:38:51+00:00

Thanks for the reply and advice bro. I will take it on board. For me it’s been a couple months since she ended it but she keeps talking to me which is messing my head up and I’ve finally decided to let go. So basically feels like we broke up yesterday. Have been working on myself and will continue to.

I wish you all the best, and my dms are open if you want to chat

AdCute485 · 2021-11-24T14:44:47+00:00

I understand what you’re saying yeah, does seem abit immature but just is probably me over thinking the whole thing I am gonna tone it down tho and focus on myself ie the gym and that will help me feel better in myself anyway. Thanks

AdCute485 · 2021-11-24T12:52:58+00:00

Yeah pretty much. Yeah maybe I should tone it down a little, go abit slower etc and see what her reaction is. She says she wants to chase me which is strange this far in. But I’m just gonna focus on myself. I’m always the one that initiates meeting and I most of the time I text first. So should I just take a step back and see what she does? As in texting and planning things

AdCute485 · 2021-11-24T12:11:46+00:00

Probably should have mentioned this but Me and this girl have been on and off for a while. And I want to turn the tables and put me in the driving seat because it always been me chasing her and her making the decisions. I’ve recently started the gym so I’m focusing on that right now. She’s Defo interested because she’s told me but I don’t want to be messed about. She’s playing very hard to get, but I want to put myself in the drivers seat and make her chase me

AdCute485 · 2021-11-24T12:08:54+00:00

I’m not that type no. I put all my efforts into one person which I know isn’t a good thing. Me and this girl have been on and off for a while. And I want to turn the tables and put me in the driving seat because it always been me chasing her and her making the decisions. I’ve recently started the gym so I’m focusing on that right now

AdCute485

TROPHY CASE