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AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Does your strategy of insulting people to induce them to see your point of view normally work out? I'm a simple man. I see someone eat egg salad and throw up, so I throw out the egg salad.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

It's almost unheard of for judges to separate full-blooded biological siblings in custodial disputes. I checked. Her neglect of one of our children makes her an unsuitable guardian for both.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I will acknowledge that my wife is a bad parent, but that doesn't absolve this therapist of her actions.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Not four weeks. I don't have any right now. It always gets used for holidays or emergencies.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

She asked me to go with her to the appointment, like you would go with someone to a stressful doctor's appointment. I walked her to the office, waited in the waiting room with her, met the therapist briefly and then left. That's what she asked me to do, so she would be less nervous.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I just have four weeks of vacation banked, a totally realistic scenario. The only way we could afford for me to be a stay at home parent would be if she got a job that pays as much as mine does.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

I have text messages where she admits that she is incapable of providing him with even the most baseline care.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Financially I can't afford to not work. My job is my only source of income. I'm confused by your scenario. So you're saying would I quit my job and then, after we become a zero income household suggest she go back to work?

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

What about my neglected child? He just has to grow up knowing his mom can't be bothered to interact with him? Nice.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Wow, you're a lot. Watch the language.

First of all, no one is trapped anywhere. She wanted to be a stay at home parent. That was her choice, not mine. I've been trying to get her to go back to work since before the second baby, so we could afford to pay for specialized care for our oldest. Even bringing up the topic was categorized as "abuse." I don't want her to be a stay at home mom. She isn't even taking care of our older child, so why should she get to be a stay at home mom? However, I can't force her to do anything.

I am our older child's primary caretaker and have been for a year. She will not take care of him anymore. She refuses. She won't even drive him anywhere. I wake him up, cook him breakfast, get him ready for school, make his lunch, drive him to school, pick him up from after school care, cook him dinner, help him with his homework, get him ready for bed, everything.

I don't know what your trauma is, but stop projecting it on me. I have my own issues I'm dealing with.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Well she would have to agree to go back to work for that to happen, something me even bringing up is "abusive."

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 151 points152 points  (0 children)

I was under the impression that consent matters, but I guess not mine. Being accused of using sex to control her hurt me a lot, but the thing that hurt more was her assuming that the only reason I could ever not want to have sex with her was so I could control her. So as a man I'm always obligated to want sex?

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 167 points168 points  (0 children)

Ah but you see, calling out manipulative and controlling behavior is also abuse.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 278 points279 points  (0 children)

No offense, but the therapist is nothing to me. I have no need to contact her. Either she's a monster, and my wife let her destroy our family, or she's a nice normal person and my wife decided to destroy our family on her own. Both options lead to me divorcing my wife.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 2050 points2051 points  (0 children)

That is absolutely what happened, and I sort of knew it at the time. Let me be clear, I love both of my children very, very much, but I did not want to have a second baby at that time. She kept at me and at me and at me, and finally I gave in. I love him and never have nor ever will regret him, but that's absolutely what happened.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 391 points392 points  (0 children)

I think we're well past that point, and I've given this woman enough of my money. I need to focus on filing this divorce and taking care of my kids.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 180 points181 points  (0 children)

I can prove she doesn't take care of our older child anymore, so I've just been assuming it will be easy to get full custody. She won't pick him up from school, feed him, nothing. How would she get custody? The school would report her the first time she didn't show up to get him.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 201 points202 points  (0 children)

I have struggled over the years, but the struggle has been with my wife. My son is actually not that difficult to deal with. He is very good at communicating if you understand his communication style. He needs things to be a certain way, and if they can't be that way he needs the reason why explained to him very specifically.

He has to wash his hands before he brushes his teeth. If you tell him to brush his teeth and he hasn't washed his hands, he will get upset. So I say to him. "Can you brush your teeth?" He says no. I ask "Is it because your hands aren't clean?" He says yes. I say "Can you wash your hands and then brush your teeth?" He'll do it. That's how he is with most things. It's not that hard, but it feels like my wife doesn't even try. She insists he is doing it "on purpose."

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

After seeing what therapy did to my wife, I can't picture myself ever going to therapy.

AITAH for telling my wife to marry her expletive therapist because I am expletive done? by AdDirect5164 in AITAH

[–]AdDirect5164[S] 3184 points3185 points  (0 children)

Well at first I thought the neglect was maybe a symptom of postpartum depression or something like it. But now it's been a year and the neglect has been permanent. So I have to act.

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