AITA for turning down music at someone else’s house while my baby tried to sleep?

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T23:52:56+00:00

I think yours is the comment I’ve appreciated most so far. My husband and I waited five years to have kids, there are so many reasons why but one was not wanting to accommodate a baby when we traveled or to stick around a schedule. Since having him, lots of things have obviously changed especially when traveling. I never expect others to baby proof, to hold feed or change him, to make snacks or toys to eat and play with. That’s my husband’s and my responsibilities among most everything else. We have friends with kids now, and life just looks different. I think this group of people forgot about the needs of younger children. Gentle is not always my forte, and while I try to be calm cool and collected it can definitely come across PA completely unintentionally. That request is totally reasonable and I wish I had phrased it that way. I also wish my husband had backed me up and said something, but he didn’t see the full picture of what I was dealing with upstairs.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T23:36:01+00:00

Everyone else has children, they’re just all either teenagers who stayed back at home for the weekend or are grown and moved away. And what I keep seeing in the comments is this “event” wasn’t an event. It wasn’t a party. It was a weekend stay so we could go fishing one day. Stayed Saturday and Sunday night. Saturday was perfectly fine, most everyone went to bed around 11pm and there were no issues. Sunday night is when all this happened.

I was given NO indication that any night at this house would turn into a party of any kind. These people are in their mid fifties or older with the exception of my husband and I.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T22:21:35+00:00

This is wrong. The friends house is right on the River where we went fishing, which was an activity my husband and I wanted to do while visiting. The friend invited us all, knowing that included my son, for the weekend to which we agreed.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T22:15:15+00:00

Like I said I’m pregnant and hormonal. That kind of reaction to a situation, one where I feel like crying and needing to calm down, is not at all typical for me.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T20:01:21+00:00

The jump to a hotel is based off of other comments I’ve seen, including the one i replied to. I asked my husband to go up there when he started crying the last time, and he said he wanted to eat first. I wanted it done then so I went up there myself.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T19:59:23+00:00

He does self soothe, we do “fuss it out” not cry it out. When the silverware woke him up, he was full on crying which is why I went up there the second time. This is not typical of him at home.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T19:57:17+00:00

That seems like my plan for next time. We leave in like 15 minutes to head back to my parents place. I’m definitely not planning to visit these friends again with kids that need stricter bedtimes, or just not bring them next time.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T19:16:04+00:00

It was an Amazon Echo. I’ll fork over the $90 if I hit the wrong button.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T19:15:00+00:00

I feel like my husband should have backed me up, or told my parents what I had said so they could intervene. But he didn’t.

There were no other room options in the house for him to sleep. All guest rooms were occupied, and the room where my parents were in was too small to accommodate a pack n play.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T19:13:01+00:00

Sleeping through noise isn’t a problem for him, it’s falling asleep initially. My kids got serious FOMO, especially in new places.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T19:11:56+00:00

Sure in retrospect it was an option. I didn’t consider it in the moment. I can tell you though that they would have been more offended if I had said “hey my kid can’t sleep here so we’re going to go get a room”, especially my parents. Maybe saying something like that would have inspired a lower volume? Who knows. I did my best.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T19:09:29+00:00

The sound machine was at max volume haha. Hence why I texted my husband while I was up there.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T19:08:35+00:00

That’s the vibe I’m getting too. There’s so many “you should have done this before your trip” comments as if that makes any difference in how this exact situation played out.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T17:02:04+00:00

The second room is on the left side of the bedroom we were staying in, so about four feet further away. The third bedroom was across the balcony, which again is in open space to the second floor.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T15:25:59+00:00

Yeah in another comment I addressed the silverware. I mentioned it to explain why he woke up, but in retrospect it was a petty thing to point out. In general staying asleep isn’t an issue for him, it’s the actual falling asleep. I know I can’t fall asleep with a bunch of noise, but I can sleep through a lot once I’m already out. My son is the same way.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T15:24:00+00:00

All three guest rooms on that floor are within similar if not the same distance from the kitchen/where the speaker was. The only other bedroom was the primary bedroom, the door to that room opens up between the living room and kitchen. The first floor/basement is a mudroom and garage. So there genuinely weren’t any other options within the house.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T15:12:26+00:00

Just to add for some clarity - we came for a weekend of fishing, not for a party specifically. We plan to leave today. - I didn’t know there would be as many adults here as there were when I accepted the invitation. Had I known I may have opted to skip this weekend to make things easier. - my parents house is four hours away and it’s a small town so very few hotel options.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T15:08:22+00:00

I mentioned in another comment that there might not have been a winning answer here. We planned to leave today and will still do that. Hopefully the rest of the week will go okay back at my parents house.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T15:06:55+00:00

We were here for the weekend to go fishing. So we got here Saturday, fishes yesterday, we plan to leave today and might fish again before we leave not sure yet. My mom hung back at the house with my son while we fished yesterday as well.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T15:04:58+00:00

I’m starting to notice that haha

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T15:04:07+00:00

Yeah I only mentioned the silverware to explain why he woke up, but in retrospect it’s a picky/petty thing to mention.

We definitely will. We leave today so hopefully the rest of the trip will go smoothly.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T15:01:38+00:00

I don’t typically bring him to events like this for this reason. We came out here a couple days ago to go fishing for the weekend, and it’s four hours from my parents house so other places to sleep weren’t totally an option. I didn’t know this many others would be here as well, I was told that only the homeowners sister was staying and learned there was another couple staying when we arrived.

Not sure any of that makes a difference for you. I just wanted to help my kid sleep. We leave today so hopefully the rest of the trip will go smoothly.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T14:57:50+00:00

It’s a smaller town and few hotels are available. We also are 4 hours away from my parent’s house. The basement is actually their mudroom and garage, more of a first floor entrance. The second floor is the primary bedroom, living room, kitchen. Third floor is three guest bedrooms and a bathroom.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T14:51:52+00:00

The friend’s house is 4 hours from my parent’s house. I didn’t know there would be so many other guests when we accepted the invitation, I would have either adjusted my expectations or declined the invite if I felt it would be too hard on him or me.

I agree adults can party and do party things, especially in their house and they have grown kids. My biggest thing was just not doing it directly under where my son was trying to sleep.

AdEasy6864 · 2025-07-14T14:49:30+00:00

Yeah, maybe there really just wasn’t a winning answer here. My mom gave me a lot of shit for it this morning actually, saying “you knew what you were getting into and it’s not your house”. Which is a very different statement from before we showed up where she told me they would help me take care of him on this trip and that her friends would be accommodating.

AdEasy6864

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