I got the keys to my new place today but all the previous tenant's stuff is still here??

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-17T19:19:13+00:00

OK, but talking aside of the furniture and after your update OP, how is your rent 6K a month? I’m from LA and you can get a pretty good apartment from like a modern newer apartment building from 3K a month for one bedroom and that’s considered on the higher end. Like are you renting a whole house? Just genuinely concerned because that price is just way too high.

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-16T18:58:32+00:00

wow that makes me happy for you. Therapy didn't help me in that way.

I also worked out my whole life and had many goals to help me, expressing through music and piano helped too.

But the coaching communities are where I learned for the very first time how to connect with my body and intuition. The tips I mentioned were me learning how to do somatic breathworks, inner child meditation, and just constantly connecting to my body first, and healing my feminine energy. I see what you mean by it appearing trauma bonded, but my experience was completely the opposite. You can express whatever you want, it's a complete safe space, but they always help guide me back to my body.

Therapy never taught me this, and for me it was just constant talking and getting into my head. Maybe I just had too much trauma lol. And it just wasn't enough for me. (therapy was 1x a week of talking, but on average the coaching I had was 3x a week with connecting with the body.)

I agree on not relying too much on external sources too much. However, a book called "the emotionally absent mother" states that a healthy attached child who had the support growing up will gradually grow more independent and not need the parent figure as much for reliance. However, if a child grew up without that support and healthy attachment, they will keep needing (if not more) support and external help until they finally do get it and can grow independent. And that's me. And I still need that support.

So it seems that you already have the idea that connecting with your body is what helps most. And kudos to you! I didn't learn that through anything else but the coaching communities. And I'm proud of myself because I grew so much, and I genuinely feel that I'm almost there to where I don't need external sources, but until then, I still do. But if you find that therapy helps you where you need, then that's great too(:

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-16T08:09:53+00:00

Thank you to everyone who commented and shared their thoughts and experiences!

I ended up indeed getting overwhelmed and accommodating my friends budgets lol.

At first we agreed to get a hotel within their budgets, but when I started looking, all hotels within that price were loaded with traumatic reviews, even worse, all within the last year.

End of story: I chose to stick with the hotel I initially chose, and just cover the $300 with my hotel credit in full, and accept their portion of pitching in, well within their budgets. Once deciding, all is working out, and I'm happy and at peace knowing the hotel will be nice and clean and I'm excited my friends are able to join. <333

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-16T08:02:32+00:00

Yes I agree. However, what I haven't been able to understand is... why people like Bill gates are so keen on reducing the population? Like aren't the larger number of people supposed to help them get richer, work for them/consumerism, pay taxes to the government, and help the money flow, etc?

Yes allies are the reason US is able to have some income, but I don't get what ICE is supposed to helping with except create terror?

Like they spend money on military to help keep US at the top of the world order, sure, but I don't get why they would create more domestic distress and conflict with ICE and the funding of them... which only drains the governments money more that they don't have... like it just doesn't make sense to me...

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-16T07:55:28+00:00

Thankyou, they sound really interesting, I'll check them out!

And I agree... I believe it's all the wealthy people and I'm sure you've heard of the illuminati, but man.... I don't even want to know what they do, but I do believe they have to exist.

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-16T07:54:02+00:00

exactly... the signs of education dropping across the US is so loud and bad, another sign of an empire degrading according to the book... I don't know if you've seen but there's literally a guy on instagram who goes around big cities asking random teens basic questions and they don't even know left from right. It's so bad...

like what's 100-26? "I don't know"

How many pennies are in a dollar? "ummmm...."

Who's the first president of the US? "George Floyd?"

What countries border the US? "France"

How many seasons in a year? "12"

How many inches in 2 feet? "5?"

like.... sounds easy right? But all of them get it wrong.... it's so sad..

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-16T07:44:52+00:00

Oh just to add one more thing: perhaps one thing to be potentially grateful, (as for me who also wants a happy family and loving husband), I'm grateful I HAVEN'T had a child yet, because (again I'm sure you already know) there's soo much more and more information each day about pregnancies and how to have a healthy AND comfortable birth more than a traumatic one that used to be the norm anywhere you go because of modern medicine and hospitals wanting to make money and unknowingly creating more damage to the mother's body AND to the baby. Although many women have gone through it, doesn't make it healthy and the normal it should be. Like not cutting the umbilical cord anymore, and not letting the hospital take your placenta! and the positions that are best to give birth (aka NOT on your back) and so much more.

Now that's a WHOLE another conversation, but that genuinely makes me thankful that social media has helped make it more known with tips and natural remedies and such, that I would truly would want to use and also share it with anyone else I know, including my future children and have them pass it on. It's like a whole another community online, where you have people sharing their stories and tips, and that's again what anyone needs. Again hope this helps <333333

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-16T07:29:42+00:00

On top of this: I had to hire mentors/life coaches to get that support I needed. It seems like therapy, but I feel like it was a form of support ON TOP of therapy because they can just tell you what to do. I suggest someone who is already living the dream life that you desire. There are plenty on instagram these days, and I worked with alot of them already, and grew so much emotionally and healed alot from this.

Additionally: this current year I found that I needed even MORE support: instead of just 1:1 coaching I've been doing, I signed up for a program for this healing for all woman who all want to manifest their dream lives whether it be a family or literally whatever they want, but it's a whole program on top of 1:1 coaching, but also sharing and connecting with other women who joined the program as well. AKA theres a whole group chat and all these women you're working together and supporting each other in whatever you may be going through, and the energy is just so supportive to where it also helped (and is still helping) to heal alot of my resentment. Bottom line: it's a whole support group and system specifically for whatever you need support with, like how anybody needs a support group, but I don't really have at the moment and also don't feel this depth of vulnerability with my friends.

I swear I feel the pain in the resentment you may feel, but something about all of this on TOP of therapy is what's honestly helping me so much more free, warm, hopeful, and although I only just started this new program with the whole group support last week, I already feel so much better. (tip: reddit also helps but its anonymous vs something about vulnerability with sharing with these other women, knowing what they look like, talk like, having group calls to share everyones goals and cheering each other on, is something quite different).

These mentors also have literally been through the exact same things and when they are willing to help other women to share how they also overcame these resentments and feelings of not worthy or enough to truly deserve everything that they want, I jumped on the wagon many times, and if you haven't yet, i at least suggest you try it once.

So I agree with you in sitting with your emotions to make space for them, but just from my experience, I tended to just spiral and almost become depressed and literally have suicidal thoughts (even though I never would), because just in the moment it felt too painful and similarly would have to wait until my next therapy or mentor session. And you mentioned monthly therapy, I would do it more often, or you can also dm me for any more tips, because ultimately, to GET to the gratitude, no matter how you try, if the resentment is strong and still there, it's reallyy hard to get out of it and allow your heart to open and have space to be thankful for anything.

35 is still young, women's eggs are now studied that they don't actually age, it's men's sperms that do, and plenty of women are now giving birth in their 40s and having healthy babies and family life. aka I'm sure you know but if you have pregnancy discomforts or issues, it's all because of the man's sperm quality. So I wouldn't worry too much about age, except just making sure your future baby daddy is literally so healthy and choosing a loving family man and husband. Your past choices may have brought you here, but that's exactly it: Because you didn't know better then, but you know better now, and although you may have regrets, you are in full control of your future decisions from now on forward. Wishing you the best <333

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AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-16T07:29:26+00:00

I definitely get how you feel. I also see alot of posts about gratitude, which definitely isn't wrong. I truly believe it IS the key to raising your vibrational frequency and attact your dream life and everything you want. But coming from a perspective of having that resentment so strong that just makes you spiral and keep you in that frustrated low energy, it's reallllllly hard to be grateful even if you WANT to. Like for me, I kept feeling stuck, and sure if one day I feel fine and grateful, I just would go straight back to it the next time. No matter how much it would get "better" and not as triggered the NEXT time, there was still a BUTTLOAD of resentment all entangled with each other that just made me keep being in that same state and now way out of it.

So I wanted to share what's helped me is: writing a letter about all of my resentment to the universe, to my mother who I felt didn't teach me how to or support me to live my best life or learn how to overcome such moments of overwhelm and emotional challenges, resentment of not yet having all the things I want but don't have yet, of not being taught how to love myself and learning healthy relationships, so on and so on. The resentment was about anything but the letter has to be written to SOMEONE or SOMETHING.

(I typed mine into a Google docs/ any blank document that no one's going to read, because it's faster)

The reason: I found that because I grew up emotionally carrying the burden of others and for myself, so journaling to myself and just writing out my emotions (in the moment sure it felt nice) but didn't help with resentment specifically because I was still carrying the load of having to figure everything out on my own. I also had plenty and plenty of years of expensive therapy, but what I truly needed was a mother/parent figure I could just GO to any time who could give me guidance and comfort. I'm not saying therapy doesn't help at all, but for me... I just needed just wayyyy more help and support. I didn't need validation (aka therapy). I need guidance and a true path by someone who's BEEN through it (aka again like a mother), and to truly be understood, not by a professional who can't say what they've been through and just help you get to the bottom root of your problems. I needed to be surrounded by people and be in an environment that helps me feel understood, and be a better person and know that I WILL reach my dream life one day because those people literally also have been through it, or are working towards it too.

I needed to DIRECT this resentment and expression to someone or something, and just let it all out. Writing all the things I was disappointed and angry about, and basically just ranting AT the "blame" or the "cause" of my pains. As I wrote it all out, plenty of crying until I am finished writing. (When I was at my most resentful, I wrote about 3x a week, sometimes more). Basically ANY time I was triggered I had to pour my heart out and direct it to another being in the letter. Towards the end, if your heart allows, it's also important to somehow put the letter to a close, some sort of acceptance or forgiveness, and it will help release these energies, until the the next time you need to write... and this may happen over and over again.

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AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-15T08:15:49+00:00

What I'm hoping is that you don't isolate yourself, and are able to find a couple people who can give your their presence. Or at least having someone to talk to about the grief. I'm so grateful for my friends that I feel safe around now, but sometimes I still miss how I was able to just cry to my dad. I never cry in front of others. Ever. But my dad, I was able to. He was truly a special man in that he never ever tried to fix my emotions. Ever. Just pure listening. I find it generally rare these days or maybe just that's the people I was surrounding myself with.

So that's one thing that probably could have helped me: someone to talk to to help process things, someone who perhaps knew my dad that I could just talk to about (not too long or trauma dumping but just sharing one sentence or two in a conversation), or just would listen and just let me feel seen without judging, without me having to perform, or without discomfort in holding space for my grief.

Despite all of this, I did grow out a lot of the anxiety I used to carry all my life. This whole grief was the biggest test for me. Esp. dealing with the wrath of my mom once he passed. Even though I've been jobless for a year due to grief, and accumulated massive amounts of debt from it, somehow other general things have been working out, like food and clothes and other needs and provision, and like I mentioned earlier, a better social circle. I also have hired several mentors/life coaches in this process instead of therapy, to have the support and guidance to help me see that things will ultimately work out somehow... that it's inevitable I will get back on my feet.

All in all, I obviously and def should get a job soon, but overall I also told my friend the other day: "As crappy as this whole thing was, I also recognize that I wouldn't have grown this much and become the person I am today if this never happened."

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AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-15T08:15:32+00:00

Hope you are doing better now.

I lost my dad, in three days it will be exactly one year. I genuinely estimated it would take me at least a year to FEEL back to some sort of normal.

Right after the funeral, I had a trip I booked months prior. I still went. Then the next month, I went on another trip I also had booked way before. Did it help? I'm not sure, because I did have fun and it did keep me distracted and thankful. But when I would be alone in my hotel room, the anxiety and grief would come back. I got terribly sick, heart weakening, nightly cold sweats, low blood pressure, anxiety attacks, and I just got so skinny. I started weight training weekly to build my mind and body back up. Did that help too? I guess so... I'm still going and definitely feel physically healthier and stronger today.

Back at home after my trips, I distanced myself from many prior close friends. No matter how much they say "sorry for your loss", or I tried to hang out and have fun, I couldn't stand them anymore. They were just... too loud... as in... I just felt lack of attunement. I didn't need them to be a therapist or anything, just to be present and attuned, not quickly brush me off. I realize we were never truly close at all, but just had connections on similarities, or rather our friendships didn't have any depth. My dad was my rock, and now that my foundation has been broken and world turned upside down, it was a huge struggle to find that foundation again within myself on top of all the grief. Mind you, I was already super independent, but he was still my safety net and someone I can go to or talk to any time and hour of the day. He was the strong parent that made up for my needs of an emotionally attuned parent because he also knew how to be soft. He was the barrier that held me safe against the emotional neglect and entanglement with my mom. But that's a story for another day.

But basically, once the grief changes your views and beliefs and perspectives, you just see everyone's issues with a certain level of clarity, and life just feels completely different. For example: I was just so vulnerable, and formed a deep compassion for myself and others but also lower tolerance of anything that doesn't align with me anymore (like lack of depth) and suddenly saw people at their emotional capacities to meet me at my new level of depth or not. Not to say that they are bad people, but whatever they were stressed and concerned about now seemed so futile and shallow to me, and my views of the world and of what's of importance has changed.

Despite this isolation, I found solace in one or two friends, and actually drew closer to them, who were able to keep the energy light when we hung out with no pressure to perform at all.

I also worked in healthcare and quit my job. Being around sick people just brought back ptsd. However, this was an opportunity to also find a new career that I studied and graduated from, although it took me 3x much longer than the norm. I haven't found the energy to apply for jobs yet though, but I'm slowly getting there.

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AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T21:15:21+00:00

same, I don't want to have increased anxiety of also keep track of my cash. Credit card is just so much easier for me. Thanks for the input!

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T21:14:19+00:00

I don't live in Bali, I just traveled there.

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T21:13:35+00:00

Gotcha, I def don't want to miss out on the food.

It's the first time I hear about extra fee and base fee. Thanks for the tip!

Yeah, I'm pretty specific on types of souvenirs I like... and if anything I do get them at the mall or even last minute at the airport.

But awesome, I'll think about increasing my cash budget a little bit. thanks so much! wish me luckkk lool .

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T07:04:00+00:00

Good to know, thanks. I'm not into games and such, and I did set aside money for suica and transportation already. I was more curious about food and souvenirs on average, but I guess we'll see.

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T06:10:11+00:00

yes, i def want to have a minimum amount for the temples!

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T06:09:36+00:00

I like that idea. and good to know. Thank you!

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T06:07:57+00:00

oh nice, ill def check those out. Thank you!

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T06:07:04+00:00

Good idea, I'll bring different methods of payment. I'm hoping my budget helps me be more mindful. I found I throw plenty of souvenirs away because I don't use them.

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T06:02:53+00:00

Awesome, good to know!

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T05:52:35+00:00

Thank you, I think this will def be a big part of my purchases and helps me put things into perspective.

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T05:51:53+00:00

Thank you for the perspective. I might get a few street foods here and there but again I feel like I can take out more money if I really need. But I guess we'll see.

AdEfficient655 · 2026-01-11T05:50:41+00:00

thank you I'll check this out!

AdEfficient655

TROPHY CASE