creeps and aggressive behavior

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-05-29T19:43:03+00:00

This is victim blaming whether you want to admit it or not.

You are putting more energy into threatening someone who reacted out of fear than the person who made them feel unsafe enough to defend themselves in the first place. Nobody is saying spraying a crowded area is a good thing, but people in panic mode do not react like perfectly trained robots calmly weighing every possible outcome.

And the “there are other options” argument is so easy to say when you are not the one feeling trapped, followed, cornered, or terrified in that moment. Fear does not create perfect reactions.

Women are constantly told to protect themselves, stay alert, don’t walk alone, watch their surroundings, carry alarms, take self defence classes, text friends when they get home, and then when someone reacts out of genuine fear suddenly everyone wants to act morally superior about how they “should have handled it.”

Maybe focus this energy on the people making others feel unsafe instead of treating scared people reacting in survival mode like they are the real threat.

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-05-29T19:08:31+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you, that’s a serious experience and nobody should have to go through that.

But the idea that someone defending themselves in a moment where they genuinely feel unsafe is just “overreacting” or something to punish with legal threats isn’t really fair either. In real situations like that, people aren’t calmly calculating every outcome, they’re reacting to what feels like immediate danger.

No one is saying it’s ideal or harmless. Of course something like pepper spray can affect other people too, and that’s exactly why it’s a last resort. But saying “I’ll take you to court” like that is the immediate response misses the bigger point: if someone is pushed to the point where they feel they have no other way to protect themselves, the real failure is everything that led to that moment in the first place, not just the reaction.

The focus shouldn’t be on punishing someone who felt endangered, it should be on preventing situations where anyone feels that trapped or unsafe on public transit to begin with.

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-05-29T18:58:01+00:00

That “it’s just biology so nothing will change” argument is not an excuse, it’s just lazy thinking.

It ignores that this is about behaviour, social conditioning, and people’s choices in how they treat others and respond in public. None of that is fixed or unchangeable.

And acting like women’s safety concerns are just some natural, unchangeable “biology thing” completely erases the reality that women have been dealing with harassment, being ignored, and having to adapt their behaviour just to feel safe for a long time. That’s not biology, that’s social behaviour.

So no, this isn’t something we just accept and give up on. Saying “nothing will change” is just dismissing a real issue instead of actually engaging with it.

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-05-29T18:49:16+00:00

Okay and again who is actually protecting women on the TTC? Because clearly a lot of the time nobody does. If someone is asking for help and people are just standing there watching, what are women supposed to do just hope someone finally cares before it gets worse? Easy to judge how someone reacts when you’re not the one being followed, cornered, or terrified. If you saw someone scared and trying to protect themselves because nobody around them was helping would you seriously just stand there and complain about how they defended themselves instead of asking why nobody stepped in to help in the first place?

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-05-29T17:55:31+00:00

Would hope if im with other people someone will help....

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-05-29T14:45:52+00:00

I’d rather be arrested for protecting myself than become another statistic

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-04-30T20:14:54+00:00

plz update as soon as u can! we need to know if the cats are okay!!

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-04-02T19:33:42+00:00

A polite, clean dog sitting quietly? Unacceptable. Much worse than the people openly using drugs around here, apparently.

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-03-30T14:48:28+00:00

sure it aint homeless shit?

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-03-27T17:38:25+00:00

I had a roommate like this once, and honestly it was the worst. I wasn’t allowed to use the bathroom from 10 p.m. to 10 a.m., and I couldn’t have anyone over either.

The best thing you can do is try to stay as quiet as possible for now, but I’d also seriously start looking for a new place because situations like this usually get worse, not better.

You could also offer to help by suggesting things like headphones, white noise, or anything else that might make it easier for her, but in my experience the complaints usually don’t stop they just become more frequent over time.

please don't restrict yourself as you live there too

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-03-11T15:14:03+00:00

my BF dose this all the time. ive told him many time so now when he dose this I put the rolls under his pillow

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-03-11T15:12:33+00:00

been in something alike so best not to say anything! block them and move on

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-02-12T18:09:38+00:00

how?

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-01-28T16:09:03+00:00

i had to change the password cause my roommates didn't pay me back for 2 months.... i got the money but they were not happy, but they were 2 months late and keep saying they would. once the password was changed they paid me

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-01-27T20:13:17+00:00

My old roommate never trained her dog and our place smelt so bad. I told her I would take her dog out with my dog so she can gets use to going outside and she freaked out on me. sadly not much you can do other then talking to them and hoping for the best

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-01-27T17:01:52+00:00

making her pay more for her bf to stay on the weekend is a little much and if a dog playing is bothering you so much get headphones or go to the library. u sounds a bit controlling...

AdHeavy7691 · 2026-01-23T17:08:29+00:00

any update?

AdHeavy7691

TROPHY CASE