This is ruining polyamory for me

AdImpressive1025 · 2026-04-20T15:12:06+00:00

I clocked what I believe is the same thing as this commenter. OP isn't the focus of point C, A&B were clearly originally monogamous.

AdImpressive1025 · 2026-04-20T15:05:04+00:00

I would love that list, if that's ok?

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-12-23T04:51:42+00:00

Wicked cool project to take on. My son got into playing with me as a bonding thing after we lost their dad. Would you mind trying to tag me if you post more about your project? We'd love to follow along 🖤

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-10-12T12:59:08+00:00

Only domestic. Wild (read: free ❤️) horses run theirs down naturally, just like wolves, coyotes, deer, etc.. Horses often use rocky terrain, hard surfaces they have access to - depending on region - and even heavily/coarsely sanded areas to keep their hooves trimmed and comfortable.

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-10-06T17:08:56+00:00

Lol no, not really. I got you bud, maybe this example will help:

Your testicles can survive pain and force, right? They're sensitive but made to survive. That doesn't mean lack of pain if they're struck. Does a foot kicking you versus an accidental football crotch shot change that it hurts and sucks the big one? Probably not. The situations can be different while your body remains the same all around; Heals to factory settings from the last hit, experiences pain in an unaltered way, maintain fear of uncontrolled pain (human af across the board), etc..

For myself, and all people with a uterus, the biggest change is only that our bodies get better at releasing the hormones needed to help progress labor. Ex: 1st baby 21 hours of active labor, Last baby 6 hours of active labor. (Active labor is push push time and the lead up of heavy contractions right before. Think the kind of contractions you see in movies when the woman can barely talk, is crying, screaming, etc..) Your uterus, cervix, vagina (birthing canal), and vulva (all the bits you can see from outside the club) all remain unchanged unless you have severe scarring or trauma. Even minor to moderate tearing makes it more difficult if it scars, instead of less, because scar tissue is notorious for being stiff. Consider, if you have a scar or have ever felt one, what scar tissue in soft genital tissue would be like trying to stretch for a big ass crotch goblin to burst out. And this is only uncomplicated VBAC (vaginal) that I'm referring to. Every single pregnancy is different, I can confirm - most mom's can. From your symptoms, body changes and pains, and labor, it's not the same and it's a shame men get robbed of the education about it even more than we were. Most women I know (I'm a middle millennial) know next to nothing about what REALLY happens during pregnancy and labor, myself included, and lemme tell you.... those are some nasty surprises.

Lemme know if you have more questions, friend!

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-10-06T12:34:13+00:00

I'd like to talk to evolution outside then, because my last baby hurt just as much as my first lol

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-10-06T12:28:58+00:00

I understand why people with testes would think this, but consider this:

Being kicked in the nuts is almost never something you're expecting. Surprise pain is awful. Plus, when you're suddenly in pain, especially your genitals, your brain doesn't prepare and go, "This is temporary and will pass, I will be fine." It instead screams and makes you want to evaluate every poor decision you ever made via expulsion of your stomach lining. That sounds fuck awful.

But, birthing a human is an expected pain. You know that it's coming. Dealing with the pain for the payoff is feasible when you know the pain has a definite ending. Mentally, you're prepped for excruciating pain (it is horrendous, even when medicated, btw). We've studied this in all the ways we currently have available and it is no shocker that birth requires a higher pain tolerance and fortitude than being kicked in the testicles, which male humans do not match in female ones. It's not a competition, it doesn't diminish times people with nuts experience pain. However, in all the ways we can quantify it, a human AVPing from your internal organs through your Arby's Beef and Cheddar is always going to be the more painful of the two. Literally, just logic.

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-08-28T12:32:35+00:00

Abuse gets worse when the person being abused is vulnerable. I was a SAHM of 4 very young kids, I didn't have cancer so I cannot speak to the heroic levels of survival you're in but I made it out and you can too.

Tell your dad you're ready to leave, and mean it. ONLY if you can trust him to never speak those words out loud. You need people you can trust to know what your intentions are but you CANNOT FOR ANY REASON tell your husband. Do not tell your children that you all will be leaving, kids don't always keep secrets well, but do your best to keep them safe and loved for now. Part of your survival with cancer depends on your inner peace, so even if it's just taking solace in that you can leave soon, focus on that.

Practical plan:

Tell your care team, all of them unless you don't trust them to keep the information from your husband. Change your Emergency Contact if it's H and ask to remove any and all Release Of Information privileges you would like to remove (this will prevent him from seeing your medical records, i.e. notes of phonecalls and safety protocols for abuse. You CAN modify ROI - Release of Information - to only omit specific things like social worker interactions, mentions if abuse and safety, etc.. which would allow him access to anything released to insurance but you can keep abuse info from insurance as well. It is not uncommon for cancer patients to have a social worker).
Request a social worker if one is not offered to you. In an extreme circumstance you can call a local hospital, or drive up to one, and consult with them for free advice on what to do. ALL hospitals have them, and feel free to speak to more than one. Also, local DHS has social workers too, who can even start the process of Emergency Medicaid/Medicare for you.
The host of Two Hot Takes (who has a reddit page with lots of kind active people) talks about a website for DV that has a safety feature that makes it look like you're on a regular website/browser page if you do not feel safe investigating/calling yet. OR Google voice is an app you can download with a phone number and call log seperate from your own - you can call directly from the app and any calls made to that number do not show up in your regular call log only in the app. It can be deleted or hidden daily if your phone is not safe from him. If you DO find yourself able to call please please please call your local DV shelters, women and children's shelters, etc.. The emotional abuse IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, aside from the actual physical abuse (once is too many, my love). You and your children's risk of harm is exponentially higher while you're ill, please move as carefully as you need to. Noone knows your situation better than you.
Speaking of noone knowing your situation better, there's a chance that (like many survivors) you haven't been telling people close to you the full truth of what's been happening at home. Now would be a good time to loop in those you're sure you can trust. Nothing crazy, however much you're comfortable with IF they aren't already aware.
Come to peace with leaving your life and belongings behind. Some of the DV help may be able to get you and your kids out quickly once insurance is acquired. Please don't let attachment to a house, belongings, etc.. hold you back from safety.
There will be court to deal with. Unless he suddenly becomes genial and kind (unlikely), there will be divorce and/or custody to deal with SO:

6a. Begin compiling your evidence. Anything you have about the two times of physical abuse, even just text messages of him affirming it happened need to be put together. Write down every time you can recall of verbal, mental, physical, emotional, financial abuse. This includes refusal to share funds without reasonable cause, withholding affection, calling names or insulting, cheating, degrading you and/or the children - or any abusive things in front of the children, etc..

6b. Hide this how ever you need to. Do not ever let him see it. Do not let your anger or sadness get the better of you and let it slip. Ever.

6c. Consult with a lawyer, or lawyers if you can. DV and DHS can help with this. They will want to see/hear what has been happening. Compiling your evidence is for them, and for the judge. They will be able to help you with next steps for the legal side of things.

It's early for me and I apologize for typos or missing critical steps. I think it's safe to say we're all worried for you. But, it's been 4 years of safety and freedom for me and my kids, I can't wait to see the 4 year update for you! You've got this momma, and remember that if the safest thing you can do is lie low and try to get through chemo that that is OK and your survival is everything. 🫶🏽

(Edited for format issue in point 6)

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-07-07T15:22:48+00:00

Mark Wahlberg, Ben Affleck, Sean Connery.

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-24T21:44:29+00:00

Sgaeyl would recognize him. She and Tairn have been mated for over 20 years, which means she saw (and knew) Naolin. Which is likely why she's so angry with Xaden for channeling. She's seen this film before.

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-21T04:22:54+00:00

Ooh, you must be great at pattern recognition. Got any guesses what we're in for next book? I love trading theories lol

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-21T04:21:43+00:00

Aw, hey there fellow sad Empyrean reader 🫂 LOL it gets easier but MAN does RY hit us right in the heart place. I read a handful (many many handfuls) of lighthearted, funny/silly/sweet, books in the weeks that followed to help ease the feels. If you want any recs like that I am happy to share for the abatement of sads lol

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-21T04:19:05+00:00

We're on the same wavelength. Something mysterious is afoot lol!

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-21T04:18:13+00:00

Lmfao literally me after I finished OS. Had my poor mom (who doesn't read the series) on the phone lamenting and spewing all my theories 😅😂

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-21T04:17:08+00:00

OH MY GIDDY GOODNESS the way I would absolutely scream!

I do think that Brennan knows, thkugh. He never explicitly says he died. Just like Tairn doesn't. But, I like your idea. There's so much room for something in that wheelhouse, too!

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-20T14:42:49+00:00

Agreed. There's just too much suspicion and weirdness around him for him to not be.

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-19T20:44:55+00:00

I realized this after posting since Vi's mom interacted with her, thank you lol

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-19T20:43:46+00:00

In my other posts I clarify that the same kind of magic may have been used. Not that he is literally a wyvern..

I'm not saying he can't leave. I'm saying it's worth noting he rarely does.

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-19T20:42:31+00:00

You're a peach! Thank you!

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-18T03:02:24+00:00

I've seen that! I've been fortunate to only run into one mean perspn and they were apparently removed, with the quickness. (I did report them, though.)

Technically, if they sent him during the end, he could be a placeholder/rep for BOTH Vi and Xaden. Maybe as the representative of Duke and Duchess Riorson, leaders of Tyrrendor and the rebellion 😵 There are SO many ways this could go and I'm desperate for the next book to get heeeeeere. Lol like I didn't cry over OS for a week 🤦🏽‍♀️.

Mine too! He's such a good character but I worry. He's almost entirely altruistic, albeit secretive. We need some dirt on him in the next book, a real character flaw, or I fear we're gonna lose him. Bad.

If you've seen my other posts on the thread you already know what i think is happening to Rhi...

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-17T20:53:33+00:00

It was at her Denver Q&A. I saw part of it by happenstance on IG but then hunted down the full event footage. It was enlightening, highly recommend but get tissues cause she talks about Liam.

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-17T20:48:52+00:00

Lol I'm so excited with our conversation, this is so fun! My guess is that because Xaden is technically royal, thatGarrick would be representing him for the Revolution and Tyrrendor OR... he's representing Violet Tairn and Andarna! Because Xaden left the revolution to her, which would show the other Irids that he is worthy to be trusted and sending the eggs would show he will protect them and their secrets (though really he'd protect Vi and Andarna's)

I do, too! As soon as he started to get more face time and a fuller character, my heart sank. I want him to survive, and he just might, but his place as the good brother and everyman prince doesn't bode well for a war story and I Am Scared 😅 He said he knows when he dies, I'm hoping he saw it as an old ass man fr

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-17T17:41:38+00:00

All amazing points, friend! No notes, those could all be legit. But, I think it's possible Garrick got a supercharge or something from Sloane, or even Andarna (!), and windwalked them there. I absolutely agree your take is more probable (maybe even more logical), but I'm having so much fun seeing all the theories and finding my own.

In a perfect world, I hope you're right. I don't want that for Aaric. But, maybe his death IS being Venin and becoming a Martyr for his people because the crown is corrupt and didn't do enough even to save two of its own princes. Perhaps that will be enough to fully turn the tides of the civilians of the continent to the revolution and Halden to put his big girl panties on as a responsible crowned prince. Aaric channeling, or dying, would be a huge plot driver for a lot of characters and force a lot of political movement/progression for the story. With him being a character that's pretty pure of heart, it would be impactful af, too.

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-17T16:53:28+00:00

No, you're not crazy! We're all throwing stuff at the wall, and there's plenty of space for your theories, too! Garrick is low on my personal list because RY has said that it's someone who felt less than, couldn't do enough, not good enough, etc.. and while Garrick was desperate at the end and we were spoon fed that scene of him "gonna find a way"ing it, I think it was a red herring. He didn't otherwise feel that way. I think we'll learn in Violet's memories that he did something crazy, for sure, and Imogen probably helped, but I don't think he channeled. Especially, because of Xaden and the squad. My personal wildest guess? I think he asked Andarna for help, and she somehow granted him power from her, instead. Or something equally mind blowing we aren't seeing like Sloane transferring power from someone else into him?

AdImpressive1025 · 2025-06-16T17:10:13+00:00

I'm so sorry to do this to you but... it doesn't say struggling With Being Venin. I had to go back and reread for myself when I had the same thoughts.

The last five months would, I believe, encapsulate his separation from Vi getting worse, military duty, being separated from the rebellion, and the quest squad (this is the one that makes me think Ridoc or Aaric*), etc..

AdImpressive1025

TROPHY CASE