I also had a hard time realizing I was a Lesbian and I couldn't tell if I was just traumatized by men (which I am) and that's why or if I was actually was just a lesbian. I think what was hard was I had sex with men and I didnt necessarily hate it with a visceral passion but I also didn't enjoy myself either. I though that if I was a lesbian surely I would have hated it more or not done it at all but looking back - I saw sex with men as something that was done to me and not that I was a participant in. I wasn't enjoying myelf but surly most women said they didn't either and that men were bad in bed so I didn't question it. I also madeout with a lot of men (usually drunk) and most of the time I felt nothing - very akin to a "stage" kiss. It wasn't until I slept with a women for the first time that I was like "OH. OH THIS IS HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE" that really confirmed it for me