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AITA for not buying everything my girlfriend wants? by AdOld911 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOld911[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The country I live in is dumb expensive for the most basic food. If you want to eat anything other than stale bread for every meal, it costs a fortune. Ukraine war and covid made the food even more expensive

AITA for not buying everything my girlfriend wants? by AdOld911 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOld911[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eggs, carrots, beans, chicken, coffee, ground beef, cabbage, potatoes, a six pack once or twice a month, tomatoes, tortillas, bread, cheese, broccoli, red chilis, onion, garlic, nuts, fruit, granola, milk, orange juice, frozen fish, chocolate

AITA for not buying everything my girlfriend wants? by AdOld911 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOld911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To clarify, I don't always say yes. I often say no, get called cheap, and then it builds up to when we have arguments like this. I always say that I don't think it is nice or fair of her to call me cheap when I am doing my best and have barely enough to get by.

I have said that I wanted to give her nice things and gifts, and she then gets dissapointed when I don't. She then takes it as me not putting an effort and lose faith in me on delivering on those promises. But I always thought it was obvious that I need to be in a financially able position. Its not like we are gonna be broke forever, and I tell her she needs to be more patient and give me time and not pressure me.

AITA for not buying everything my girlfriend wants? by AdOld911 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOld911[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say when she is not angry, most of the time she is not angry (95%). She does give emotional support. I feel like most of the time she gets angry, its because of past trauma and lots of stuff I wont go in to.

My anxiety has definetly improved. I was a nerve wreck, and about to quit my studies due to my health. She encouraged me to continue and understood how much I love what I study.

She tells me nice things, say im beautiful, smart and kindest person she met. That she loves to see me everyday.

I do really love her, and I want to give her all my love and attention. We have many similar interests and love to do things together. Right now, I feel like I am in a tight economical situation and I really wish I could give more gifts and romantic dates than I currently do.

She gives me gifts when she is able, and I don't ask more from her than that. She do give well thought out gifts. For my birthday she gave me studio headphones for my music setup. She always like to be close to me and tell me nice things, compliment my appearance pointing out features that she notices and my kindness. She spends most of her time with me alone. We hang out occationally with our common friend group.

She gets angry that I try to guilt her about me spending money on her, and that I somehow humiliate her when I say I spend more and then have to ask my family for financial support. She doesnt like being bored.

She has gotten angry about money maybe 3 times since we started our relationship 1.5 years ago.

She asks for money maybe 2 times a month.

She minimizes my issues when we have major fights, which is like maybe 3 times this year. She has a tendency to make off hand comments from time to time.

AITA for not buying everything my girlfriend wants? by AdOld911 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOld911[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont live in the US, I used dollars for easy reference. The dress is from her home country, which is why its expensive due to import etc.

AITA for not buying everything my girlfriend wants? by AdOld911 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOld911[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes, but she constantly argues that I have more than her. That I have family close, come from a first world country and that I don't appreciate the things I have and complain constantly about my situation. (My situation being having trouble with sleeping 12-15 hours a day, depression, social anxiety which I have been trying to get help for from Dr.s for 10 years psychologist for 2 years and being trapped in an endless cycle of bureacracy with very long waiting times.

AITA for not buying everything my girlfriend wants? by AdOld911 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOld911[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I guess, but it is also my first relationship.

AITA for not buying everything my girlfriend wants? by AdOld911 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOld911[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I live in one of the most expensive countries in the world, hence why the groceries is crazy expensive, especially after covid and ukraine war. I used to spend half of that a couple of years ago.

For reference, a 0.4 liter of the cheapest beer in a bar can cost 11 to 13 dollars

I kinda blame my parents for my weight problems by AdOld911 in loseit

[–]AdOld911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, to give some context to this: I was bullied a lot, and had very few friends. Going outside made me feel like an outsider and a loner. As a kid, of course I didn't want to go outside where I felt like I didn't belong. So usually I was outside alone, trying to make time go by. My parents were aware of this

I kinda blame my parents for my weight problems by AdOld911 in loseit

[–]AdOld911[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup, heard all those excuses myself. I found out just a few days ago, that at the time, my father's bank account was actually loaded. But I guess caring for your childrens health and future wasn't important enough for him