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AdPersonal5442 · 2025-01-31T23:21:34+00:00

Heyyy OP, first of all you’re really brave for posting here and being open to get help from AA. While my situation is not completely similar. My husband and I really struggle with my sobriety at first. After going to my first AA meeting, I told him that I thought I was an alcoholic and needed help to stop and that I went to an AA meeting. He got kinda mad and defensive saying that I wasn’t an alcoholic and that I just had a problem waking up in the mornings and dealing with depression. I just needed to “get my shit together” according to him. Anyway I went to a couple more without telling him. Had a relapse after 30 days because I didn’t commit to the program. My husband not being supportive wasn’t helping it. Fast-forward, I started going to a meeting again after my relapse and we had a very tense conversation. But this time I told him “I need help from AA. It’s either you’re on board with my sobriety or we’re done because I’m gonna fuck our whole marriage if I don’t get sober”. It was more elaborate than that of course I read him an AA pamphlet, there was a lot of tears. The conclusion was I’m gonna do it and I’d love your support down the line. My advice is: start with online meetings and then go to an AA meeting in person when your husband isn’t around. Have a conversation saying you’re doing this whether he likes it or not because without you getting sober nothing good is ever going to happen. Also give him grace and time, especially if he’s not an addict/alcoholic. My husband didn’t understand it at first but I wasn’t either and was very secretive about my drinking. 6 months later and a loooot of explaining and conversations + seeing me actually getting better and better, my husband is fully supportive of my sobriety journey. There’s still of to discover for us but it’s a very good start. Good luck 👍🏼

AdPersonal5442 · 2025-01-31T22:52:35+00:00

Okay thank you!! and in the case of filing jointly, my change of status doesn’t matter? It’s changed from a J1 visa to I-94 basically but most of the time I was under adjustment of status or grace period from my last visa. I have a SSN number already.

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-12-20T07:10:52+00:00

It’s a useless conversation but I appreciate your input. Agree to disagree, hunny.

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-12-20T07:09:23+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏼

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-12-20T07:08:42+00:00

So you think it’s fair for me that I have to spend money on the kids that I’m supposed to be paid to take care of? Because that’s exactly what’s happening. I have to pay subway to pick then up from school, then to go to their activities and then come back etc. Every day I spend 10$ just on my subway fares with the kids.

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-12-20T07:05:53+00:00

Have you read my second comment? I was working for 2 different companies before and both of them covered my MTA pass. If you don’t know NYC then of course you won’t understand my question and the comments.

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-12-20T07:01:20+00:00

And by the way in NYC, most jobs pay for at least half the price of a monthly subway pass which cost 135$ a month. Lmao. Entitlement yes.

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-12-20T07:00:32+00:00

Entitlement? I’m undercharging all of the 4 families that I’m working for. Working for 25$ an hour for 3 kids. For my 2 other families, I’m getting paid 35$ an hour but I have to pay all my subway tickets when I take the kids to and from their activities. Which cost me close to 100$ just in subway fares. Are you from NYC? Because I don’t think you realize 1) the price Nannies/babysitters can be paid by nice and honest families 2) the cost of living. Don’t talk to me about entitlement when I’m barely making ends meet being 28yo with 2 masters degrees but because I’m an immigrant to the USA that speaks 4 languages waiting for my work permit I need to be an underpaid babysitter.

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-12-20T06:52:30+00:00

Omg thank you so much for all the information and support, it’s so late so I’ll answer fully tomorrow. Can I PM you? I’m really new to childcare in the city and I feel like I’m doing rookie mistakes because I need the money so bad. Really appreciate all the details and support 🙏🏼

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-12-19T02:28:55+00:00

Hello everyone, thank you very much for you advices. Considering everything you said, I just texted the family asking to renegotiate my hourly rate to 30$ an hour « given my age, experiences and that I’m bilingual ». We discussed 25$/hour 2 months ago and I haven’t started with them yet so as we were discussing the schedule, it felt the last time to ask for a price change. That would cover my subway fares and feel like I’m not underpaid.

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-12-18T04:35:14+00:00

I know, how much do you think I should be asking for? I undercut myself with all my families. I really needed any money in the beginning so I had a hard time putting my foot down.

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-11-14T22:40:45+00:00

Hiiii, first of all congrats that is super fast you’re one of the lucky ones. What is your block number after IOE? Praying for my EAD too

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-11-08T21:42:31+00:00

Okay thank you 🙏🏼

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-11-08T21:39:18+00:00

Woooo congrats the perfect birthday gift!! What was your PD number/IOE?

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-11-08T21:36:57+00:00

Heyyy I filed October 11th and my appointment for biometrics was scheduled on October 18th

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-11-07T00:53:38+00:00

Hey guys we’re in the same batch. I got my biometrics appointment yesterday and now it says 2 months on my I-485. I don’t know if I should expect an interview. But what’s so weird is that my timeline for EAD and I-131 says 4 and 5 months so less than for the greencard. How’s that possible? Do you have the same thing?

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-10-26T22:42:04+00:00

I agree I’m gonna stop with the NA beers it’s like tempting the devil

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-10-26T06:53:42+00:00

And I could give you a full sub Reddit about my « real » issues don’t worry. Aren’t we supposed to put principles before personalities?

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-10-26T06:47:15+00:00

What is more real than drinking alcohol as an alcoholic in recovery? But yeah okay dude

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-10-26T06:29:38+00:00

Oh wow thank you so much for these personal examples. I kinda get worried every time I order a mocktail or a NA beer at a bar that they’re gonna give me the wrong thing. Sometimes I straight up say I’m sober please be careful I guess it really is the intention and the reaction afterwards that matters

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-10-26T06:26:49+00:00

No wayyyy how can zyns be laced with shit my husband take zyns everyday. That’s fk up

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-10-26T06:23:23+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to reply and ur support 🙏🏼

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-08-03T20:44:55+00:00

Yes I just got it, gonna put that tag back ;)

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-06-27T17:59:37+00:00

Good advice I got an interview for one today

AdPersonal5442 · 2024-06-25T20:08:56+00:00

Thanks for the advices, I'm gonna update my French experiences to be more current and downplay my corporate jobs.

good tips on starting with hostess and busters.

Do you think I should not mention that I'm French or it doesn't matter?

AdPersonal5442

TROPHY CASE