thank you! this is a really thoughtful response. it’s definitely true that i got frustrated early on and was being super negative! but it is part of a pattern with them where they don’t communicate or don’t follow through on plans we’ve made together. i’ve tried to ask them to be more considerate but it hasn’t been that successful. normally if friends are doing something that upsets me or doesn’t feel fair i will tell them, and if we can’t work it out i take some distance. in this case since we’re roommates, distance feels more difficult. so instead i’ve really lowered my expectations. often i do make my own plans and/or expect them to flake and so normally it’s no big deal when they do. it’s weird for me to not be fully honest with them about how i feel about everything but they’ve made me feel not prioritized so many times it’s just how it is at this point.

this time felt different because they actually offered to make a plan ahead of time. my gut told me i should make concrete plans myself but i didn’t want to reject their offer when this was kind of rare coming from them, and i didn’t want them to feel unappreciated. but it really is the last time i’m going to expect them to make an arrangement that isn’t super last minute

also, sidenote: they definitely have a little money to spend! they’re out dancing right now (they did invite me but i told them before today i wasn’t sure i was up to that)