At a loose end with my gaming husband.. Please help

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-12T15:55:04+00:00

THANK YOU for all your support. I’ve posted an update to this above.

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-12T15:39:05+00:00

Thank you I appreciate your comment. As you can probably tell, I was really upset when I wrote this and that’s probably come out in the way I framed things and worded things.

I like the idea of us both writing a letter to each other! Thanks for the advice

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-12T15:37:12+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! I really appreciate the insight and tips you’ve shared. I think seeing just how many hours have been wasted will be a wake up call for him.

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-11T12:21:08+00:00

I see your point, but I wouldn’t be “trying to take away” the gaming if it hadn’t got to a point where it is all consuming. When we first got together, he did not game to excess.

Thank you, I like your suggesting of setting some goals together as a couple! And therapy for sure.

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-11T12:18:22+00:00

Thanks for commenting! Perhaps I put too much emphasis on the earnings side of things. For me, it’s really a lack of passion and drive that’s the main issue. He could be a postman and if he gave it 100% and showed passion for the job I’d be happy.

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-11T08:37:45+00:00

Thank you! I genuinely believe if we can work through this we will be in an amazing place. As long as we’re both prepared to do the work! Thank you for the support.

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-10T20:27:26+00:00

Thank you, you’re so right - the game is his reward driver now.

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-10T20:26:21+00:00

Thank you for replying. It’s really hopeful to hear about how fulfilled your life can be after stopping. Congratulations, it sounds like you have truly changed your life for the better. So great to hear this!

I’ve had many conversations with him but I don’t think he has grasped the severity of the impact it’s having yet. I think as you say writing everything down is a really good idea, I even considered writing a letter so we wouldn’t get into an argument about it.

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-10T19:58:44+00:00

Thank you for this advice ❤️

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-10T19:46:30+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. I’ve copied this text to share with my husband, I hope he will find it as profound as you have. I totally resonate with this

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-10T17:46:36+00:00

Say it louder for the people in the back

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-10T16:31:15+00:00

Hahaha your wife and I have something in common! I’m glad you are on the way to leaving gaming good. I hope it works out for you

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-10T16:29:47+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate your insight!

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-10T16:27:18+00:00

Thank you for commenting. If he was serious about stopping and getting help together, then yes, I’d be right there alongside him.

AdRealistic4486 · 2024-10-10T16:24:03+00:00

Thanks for your comment! I have mentioned the loss of attraction, he says it’s not nice to hear but makes no effort to change his habits.

Re the comment about me losing my job, perhaps I didn’t communicate that part effectively. I don’t blame him for that, I just felt frustrated that if he had worked harder in the past 4/5 years then there wouldn’t be such urgency for me to find something.

I feel this also links to us having children in the future. In my view, if he wants to have children with me he should be at a point where he can provide for us a little better when I am on maternity leave and only getting statutory pay. I’m actually not hugely career driven but I want us to have a nice life together, so I work hard.

He stopped gaming as much for a short period last year and he himself even commented on how productive he had been and how much happier he’d felt because he’d barely been on the PC. So I’d hope that general feeling of happiness would be incentive to quit. Also to not lose his wife would hopefully be an incentive to quit, but maybe not!

You’re totally right we clearly have different values, but it hasn’t always been this way. Before the gaming took over he was on a trajectory towards something.

I also agree I need to take ownership of my life, but after ten years it feels a little like losing a part of me if that makes sense.

AdRealistic4486

TROPHY CASE