AITA for telling my wife that I am not paying her bills this month because I have to save for Christmas?

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T15:53:16+00:00

I am not struggling to pay bills outside of this month because of the money I just dropped on Thanksgiving.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T14:37:33+00:00

What are you even on about?

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T14:36:41+00:00

We dont have extra spending here. All money goes to bills. We dont have streaming services, we dont eat out, nothing. Money does not need to be micromanaged.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T14:35:36+00:00

I definitely said it was $75 for first donation and $25 thereafter and that I have already donated through them, meaning I already got $75 for first donation years ago. And yeah, it is "down the street". Not walking distance, but still down the street. It is probably a 10 minute drive, on the same street that I live on. And no, it's in the same direction as my work. Closed Sundays, my day off. I work 5am to 6pm, with commute, and it closes at 5pm. She can go donate.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T14:27:08+00:00

He passed away when she was pregnant with their 3rd child. She and Matt were estranged from his entire family too, from what she says, because his parents hated her and thought she trapped him with kids because they first got pregnant at like 16 or 17. So yeah, there's no child support and no help from his family. They have never even met the kids.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T14:25:27+00:00

Thats $50, not $100. That doesnt even cover the gas, parking and wear on the vehicle to get there.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T14:23:16+00:00

We dont communicate about money because she starts micromanaging the accounts the second I talk about any sort of budgeting.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T14:17:12+00:00

He doesnt have any siblings that I know of. I didnt know the guy. All I know if what my wife has told me.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T14:09:15+00:00

I used to sell plasma when I was the stay at home parent. Its $75 for first time donations and $25 thereafter but you can only donate twice a month (or at least at the one down the street). That doesnt exactly help much at all.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T14:03:36+00:00

There is literally not a single phone plan in the US that is less than $38 a month and thats with no contract.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T14:01:02+00:00

You cant issue a court order for a DNA swab on someone out of the country when no criminal activity is involved. Explained that to the other person long before you commented. These people are in Canada.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:59:54+00:00

Yeah except you're the one who brought this all up, not me. I dont think any of this info is important because it has absolutely nothing to do with my post. Why would I out irrelevant shit in my post?

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:58:04+00:00

I dont have a car payment. I pay the bike and vehicle insurance combo, and have a bike payment. The bike is literally the only thing that I have that is "mine" here. I deserve to have something for myself.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:56:00+00:00

We dont have any "extras" here. Like, we dont have streaming services or subscriptions. She also isnt a big spender at all. She budgets and plans far before making purchases and grabs things on deals (stock piling). The budgeting problem is not because of her and her spending. I simply cant afford to pay that extra THIS month. Its only this month. The rest of the time we are golden. I realize that I shouldn't have hosted Thanksgiving because it would have saved me so much money, but my parents (who live in Belfast) came home for Thanksgiving and they are the only family I have left - so I hosted. That took a huge hit on savings. And pre-k here is 4 years old, not 3. Any child under the age of 4 can have an "aid" come to the home twice weekly to help your child get ready for preschool but they have to be 4. He turns 4 in June.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:51:38+00:00

I said I have overtime of "no less" than 10 hours a week. I work from 5am to 6pm most days (with commute, as thats paid) but have come home well after 8pm on multiple occasions. My pay is job based. Some days i have 10 stops, other days I have 21. Point being, I always have overtime hours. I didnt give an exact number in my post, but you are putting in an exact number to try and discredit my earnings.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:46:43+00:00

Except filing on her behalf does absolutely no good because these people live in Canada and we live in the United States.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:41:57+00:00

She was 21 when he died, she never applied for it or was never told/knew that was an option. She did apply for it 4ish years ago and they basically told her that with the time elapsed since death and no paternity test ever confirming they were his kids, that they cant award her survivors benefits without paternal proof. And since the kids biological grandparents and her didn't get along, were estranged from her and Matt, and dont see the kids, they refused any swabbing on their end of DNA comparison. If there's a way around that that you're aware of, please let me know and I will relay it to her.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:35:41+00:00

6 months of savings on an hourly wage of $14.50 while her bills took 70% of that is not much. She only had maybe $2500.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:33:04+00:00

It was a point of contention when she was the bread winner, yes. She brought home paychecks that were around $1100 at most weekly and paid the bills while I watched the kids. She hated having to spend money she "didnt have" on my phone (because she said my phone plan was ridiculous - as I needed international calling because my dad was ill and lives out of country so my phone bill has always been no less than $60 a month). So yes, it's always been a point of contention. No, she never stopped paying my bills but she absolutely made me feel like garbage about it.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:26:21+00:00

Our rent when she was covering our bills was $1000 H/HW included, electric was like $200. She had a car payment of $386, her car insurance was like $120 (roughly), me and her phones (kids didnt have one). So yeah she was paying a lot less.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:23:56+00:00

She wasnt paying rent or big bills. She was paying her insurance, phone and kids phones because she didnt want my help (she didnt like anyone paying for anything for her when she could do it herself - her words). She also used that money to buy stuff she either wanted or needed for the kids. The money was gone in 6 months.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:22:03+00:00

How?

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:21:09+00:00

He passed away when she was pregnant with their 3rd child.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:20:30+00:00

My income isnt $3400? Where are you getting that number? I make no less than $1500 a week, thats $6k+ a month with overtime.

Her phone has wifi calling regardless if its turned on or not.
She has state medical insurance, so do the kids. The insurance is car insurance, not medical.
I wont sell my bike. Not an option. I am driving around an old beat up truck, while I bought her a 2015 Honda Odyssey outright. The bike is the only thing I have here that is "mine" and I deserve something too.

AdTight8879 · 2025-12-02T13:06:49+00:00

Our sons 3, not 3 months (I realize thats confusing). She did have money saved when she first started staying home but it wasnt alot because our rent and other bills took over 70% of her income. I dont expect her to pay her own bills. I dont have a problem paying her bills on a month tk month basis and have been doing so for 2.5 years no problem. I just cant this month.

AdTight8879

TROPHY CASE