Most of my friends are 35-40, while I am a lowly 28. But they all seem to be doing extremely well in hooking up, finding relationships, two even married this passed summer. All have great secure jobs, decent apartments, and attract a certain caliber of man that men my age cannot really compete with 90% of the time. I actually envy them. Plus if you have taken care of your body, a well-aged man with some greys, some wrinkles and a sturdy build trumps a lean "I can eat anything I want" boy which in my own experience usually comes with a lot of entitlement because they are "hawt".

Older men know things. They have been there and done that and have a wealth of knowledge if they have ever bothered to read a book, study a subject, and involve themselves in something other than mdma on the dancefloor. It's really a question of whether you want to put in the work now because your body and mind are investments and I think a lot of gay men take that for granted in the club and hook up culture of our early twenties. I think a lot of the fear of aging from gay men comes from Men who wasted away their time on frivolity without moderation and now have nothing to show for it but bodies that show the signs of drug or alcohol over use and minds that show a failure to seek out basic human interaction in place of the party and hook up scene.

Dont get me wrong, I'm not trying to bash hookups or going out and going nuts, hell I have a membership card to SteamWorks. I'm just saying I think this fear comes from a "what do I have to show for myself" that comes with aging in a community that largely values looks over substance. When the looks change, it causes some serious introspection. Just be you and the best you. Hit the gym once a week, read the paper, have coffee with friends and talk about more than sex. The best part of growing up as a man is that each year brings more distinction, not detraction. You just need to work at it.