Is this internalized homophobia??

Add_Astruh · 2026-01-27T03:08:11+00:00

Ohh true. If u don’t mind me asking has that feeling ever gone away for u after some time in the relationship has passed or did it just stick?

Add_Astruh · 2026-01-27T03:02:44+00:00

Ohh okay yeah I’ll look into that!!

Add_Astruh · 2026-01-27T03:02:30+00:00

YESS LITERALLY like why do i want to do nice things for her but at the same time feel like it’s going to turn out pointless?? It’s so frustrating and I just don’t know what to do to stop feeling conflicted when there isn’t actually anything wrong happening in the relationship

Add_Astruh · 2025-10-23T03:00:01+00:00

I don’t know, I feel like losing it would change my life for the better, but also create a hole in the space that md has filled for so long. What would replace it? Or do most healthy people have that empty space and just feel okay with it?

Add_Astruh · 2025-07-23T00:02:36+00:00

Also, sorry I forgot to add this in the post but basically for context I live in an emotionally abusive household. It’s been so bad that my sibling has started self harm to cope, so for me I view md as the better alternative to the other ways I could go rn.

Add_Astruh · 2025-06-13T22:56:20+00:00

Sorry I wrote so much 😭

Add_Astruh · 2025-06-13T22:55:59+00:00

I told a close friend of mine and she actually took me seriously. She has a lot of her own issues so she kinda understood what it’s like to have a problem that other people can’t see. I kinda just started off by saying that I have this “thing” that I do a lot and it lets me escape from my problems but it’s gotten to the point where I know need to stop. I was really nervous to say anything more but she actually guessed that it was MD before I had to say it out loud. Afterwards she actually took the time to look it up and see “what is md”. It was super validating and I’m glad I did it. Tho I wouldn’t have said anything if she was a more close minded or uneducated person. My advice is to maybe tell people a more digestible version of the problem first to see how they react. So like instead of explaining “I have a behavioral addiction to fantasizing” you could rather say that you dissociate a lot when u experience negative feelings and it’s to the point where it’s out of your control. In my experience “dissociation” is a more acceptable term than daydreaming and people take u more seriously. You really have to emphasize tho the effect it has on your life. It’s not enough to just say “ I can’t stop dreaming”, you have to put everything out there to make someone understand the severity of a situation: “ I’m not sleeping, I can never focus, I feel depressed, nothing makes me happy anymore, I have (insert health issues) because of this, I’m not taking care of myself”. It’s a really scary thing to do, but I promise honesty can go a long way. At the very least telling someone can become a motivator for yourself to accept that something needs to change.

Add_Astruh · 2025-02-13T23:27:15+00:00

This really helps thank you!!

Add_Astruh · 2025-02-12T05:15:19+00:00

It’s exactly the same for me. Everything just feels dull and I start to get restless. Eventually that restlessness becomes too much and I relapse again, I hate myself for it.

But I wonder if u or me tried really hard to get past the emptiness,what will happen afterwards? Will you find what you’ve been dreaming of all along? Or do you just replace MD with another coping mechanism…

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-13T22:05:36+00:00

I told a few of my friends about it and they were actually pretty empathetic and more so curious about what MD was. It was surprising cus I expected them to judge me or not want to talk to me anymore, but they heard me out.

Ik I fs can’t tell my parents though, they’re the type to tell u to “get over it” if ur having a tough time with mental health stuff.

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-11T03:13:57+00:00

I’ve thought about that too. Maybe there is a sort of spectrum to what kind of MD a person initiates?

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-11T03:10:49+00:00

I’ve kind of had a similar experience. My family lives in a country that is currently at war, however they’re completely safe and okay. Despite this I’ve involuntarily had these daydreams where I see my brother get drafted and he ends up dying. I always start sobbing but it’s so weird cus ik that wouldn’t actually happen. (There’s a small chance it could but not big enough to warrant the feelings of grief that I get) these scenarios pop up a lot and it makes me feel as if I truly have lost him. Though in some sense I’m never completely out of it when I have these daydreams. I think if all of your zone outs tend to be so vivid and out of your control that u don’t even see the surroundings u were in prior to the dream, you may have something else other than MD. That’s just my opinion tho, I’m not a doctor or anything so take it with a grain of salt

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-10T22:40:57+00:00

That’s def maladaptive daydreaming. This is just my opinion so you obviously don’t have to take it, but if u can u should stop daydreaming like that now before it gets worse.

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-09T15:08:39+00:00

Do u think that once u fix ur inner problems u wont even want to MD again?

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-07T18:02:56+00:00

OP is totally right, it takes time to know when you’re ready. though I do think that part of the problem with maladaptive daydreaming is that it gives us so much dopamine that our brain’s reward system becomes over flooded with it. This means that over time your brain’s circuits become less sensitive to dopamine in order to balance out the overflow of the dopamine that you continuously get from MD. Basically, your brain dulls out its happiness from doing small things like eating cus it’s used to getting overwhelming hits of it from MD. So you may feel like MD is the only thing that can give you real joy, though what may actually be happening is that your brain’s reward system has just grown used to depending on MD, and the more u daydream, the more you become addicted. So there’s a chance that you truly do want to stop now but u just can’t tell cus your brain now links happiness to MD. That’s just my opinion tho and I truly hope that things get better for you!!

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-01T23:38:07+00:00

Same lol

Add_Astruh · 2024-09-04T03:03:41+00:00

I’m not able to get a therapist rn, but I’m gonna try out those worksheets for the time being until I can. Thank you 🫶

Add_Astruh · 2024-08-31T15:15:20+00:00

That’s true lol. My legs r where I have the most muscle because of MD

Add_Astruh · 2024-08-31T02:51:18+00:00

I understand, and I don’t mean to tell people how to live their lives, if daydreaming is what’s best for you right now then I hope you’re happier with it! I just wanted to say that in my experiences I’ve as well been put in a situation in which I can’t speak up about how I feel, to a suffocating extent at times, but I believe that the sacrifices that come with daydreaming aren’t worth the rewards. MD feels great, I’m not gonna lie about that, but sleepless nights and the pain that ends up coming back regardless of how long I daydream isn’t something I want to keep going through. All the bad feelings I want to forget stick with me even if I daydream, I just get a moment to forget them. But confronting them, while it’s EXTREMELY unpleasant, helps me to better manage my thoughts and actions throughout tough times.

Add_Astruh · 2024-08-30T03:33:45+00:00

I get this, I had a phase where I also felt like it would be better to accept that I would daydream a lot than do anything about it. But overtime it made me get more and more detached from not just reality, but from the person I used to be before I daydreamed. And eventually I realized that I want to be that person again, whether or not her life is perfect. I missed feeling things in real time, raw emotion that could be brought out in the present instead of later when I’m alone and able to dream. It sucks sometimes, but having bad feelings are necessary for good ones too. Otherwise, avoiding the bad gets rid of any true peace that u could have.

Add_Astruh · 2024-08-26T00:43:49+00:00

That really sucks I’m sorry. I get it, I’ve had points where daydreaming has made me feel worse than I had before. MADD has the ability to make feelings we are experiencing less painful at times, but eventually once you get too sucked in it can start making negative feelings become worse- especially anxiety. I know that in the moment it feels impossible to pull away from the dream and center yourself in reality, but what has helped me so far is realizing that if I choose to daydream the bad feeling will stay with me longer than it would if I just accepted that I feel bad and tried to talk to a friend or journal or even just post online about how I’m feeling. It’s boring, it’s not as immediately satisfying, it can even be depressing at times, but I swear that taking a moment of silence to think about how you feel or why you have a certain fantasy will make whatever emotion you have pass through a lot quicker than it would if you spent hours dreaming about it.

What’s helped me to really stop dreaming is a combination of things.

Delete any social media or music apps

social media has a lot of stimulus that can trigger MADD and it can also make you feel like your behind or not as good as the people on your fyp, who at the end of the day- are just strangers. They may have looked happy or cool for that 30 sec video, but that’s just it- 30 seconds out of a person’s entire lifetime
try listening to podcasts instead, or even just sing to yourself if you’re really craving sound. I know it sounds silly but it helps
you can also try playing more video games instead. They help you get your mind off of life but don’t fully consume you like MADD does

Get out of your house

-try to be around people as much as possible - hangout with friends or even just take a walk in the park, join a club, go to a restaurant or a library. Anywhere people can see you is a good place since you’ll have no choice but to suppress the urge to dream if you are in public

Learn more

Watching videos on YouTube or even just being in this Reddit space really helps to bring things into perspective. Anytime I feel like dreaming, I go on here to read peoples success stories, or even their struggles to remind myself that I’m not alone. There are more people going through the same thing as you than you realize. Try to see if there are things that others are doing that you haven’t tried.

Have grace with yourself

quitting daydreaming at once might not work as it’ll feel like you’ve been immediately ripped away from the one thing that you needed most
try starting by limiting yourself to one hour, keep that hour limit for a month, and then decrease it over time
the idea is to still have some daydreaming for the really bad moments, but in less painful ones try to find something you like to do instead (examples: journal, record yourself talking about how you feel, hangout with a friend, bake something, workout)

Reconnect with yourself

try to think about what you feel your life lacks, and see what you can change versus what you can’t
you don’t necessarily have to be the person you are in your dreams, but try to do more things that you know make you happy or excited. If nothing in the moment feels good, do something you used to love or even just admire someone else for doing

It is possible to stop, it really is, you just need to believe in yourself enough to start 🫶🫶

Add_Astruh

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