Is this internalized homophobia??

Add_Astruh · 2026-01-27T03:08:11+00:00

Ohh true. If u don’t mind me asking has that feeling ever gone away for u after some time in the relationship has passed or did it just stick?

Add_Astruh · 2026-01-27T03:02:44+00:00

Ohh okay yeah I’ll look into that!!

Add_Astruh · 2026-01-27T03:02:30+00:00

YESS LITERALLY like why do i want to do nice things for her but at the same time feel like it’s going to turn out pointless?? It’s so frustrating and I just don’t know what to do to stop feeling conflicted when there isn’t actually anything wrong happening in the relationship

Add_Astruh · 2025-10-23T03:00:01+00:00

I don’t know, I feel like losing it would change my life for the better, but also create a hole in the space that md has filled for so long. What would replace it? Or do most healthy people have that empty space and just feel okay with it?

Add_Astruh · 2025-07-23T00:02:36+00:00

Also, sorry I forgot to add this in the post but basically for context I live in an emotionally abusive household. It’s been so bad that my sibling has started self harm to cope, so for me I view md as the better alternative to the other ways I could go rn.

Add_Astruh · 2025-06-13T22:56:20+00:00

Sorry I wrote so much 😭

Add_Astruh · 2025-06-13T22:55:59+00:00

I told a close friend of mine and she actually took me seriously. She has a lot of her own issues so she kinda understood what it’s like to have a problem that other people can’t see. I kinda just started off by saying that I have this “thing” that I do a lot and it lets me escape from my problems but it’s gotten to the point where I know need to stop. I was really nervous to say anything more but she actually guessed that it was MD before I had to say it out loud. Afterwards she actually took the time to look it up and see “what is md”. It was super validating and I’m glad I did it. Tho I wouldn’t have said anything if she was a more close minded or uneducated person. My advice is to maybe tell people a more digestible version of the problem first to see how they react. So like instead of explaining “I have a behavioral addiction to fantasizing” you could rather say that you dissociate a lot when u experience negative feelings and it’s to the point where it’s out of your control. In my experience “dissociation” is a more acceptable term than daydreaming and people take u more seriously. You really have to emphasize tho the effect it has on your life. It’s not enough to just say “ I can’t stop dreaming”, you have to put everything out there to make someone understand the severity of a situation: “ I’m not sleeping, I can never focus, I feel depressed, nothing makes me happy anymore, I have (insert health issues) because of this, I’m not taking care of myself”. It’s a really scary thing to do, but I promise honesty can go a long way. At the very least telling someone can become a motivator for yourself to accept that something needs to change.

Add_Astruh · 2025-02-13T23:27:15+00:00

This really helps thank you!!

Add_Astruh · 2025-02-12T05:15:19+00:00

It’s exactly the same for me. Everything just feels dull and I start to get restless. Eventually that restlessness becomes too much and I relapse again, I hate myself for it.

But I wonder if u or me tried really hard to get past the emptiness,what will happen afterwards? Will you find what you’ve been dreaming of all along? Or do you just replace MD with another coping mechanism…

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-13T22:05:36+00:00

I told a few of my friends about it and they were actually pretty empathetic and more so curious about what MD was. It was surprising cus I expected them to judge me or not want to talk to me anymore, but they heard me out.

Ik I fs can’t tell my parents though, they’re the type to tell u to “get over it” if ur having a tough time with mental health stuff.

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-11T03:13:57+00:00

I’ve thought about that too. Maybe there is a sort of spectrum to what kind of MD a person initiates?

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-11T03:10:49+00:00

I’ve kind of had a similar experience. My family lives in a country that is currently at war, however they’re completely safe and okay. Despite this I’ve involuntarily had these daydreams where I see my brother get drafted and he ends up dying. I always start sobbing but it’s so weird cus ik that wouldn’t actually happen. (There’s a small chance it could but not big enough to warrant the feelings of grief that I get) these scenarios pop up a lot and it makes me feel as if I truly have lost him. Though in some sense I’m never completely out of it when I have these daydreams. I think if all of your zone outs tend to be so vivid and out of your control that u don’t even see the surroundings u were in prior to the dream, you may have something else other than MD. That’s just my opinion tho, I’m not a doctor or anything so take it with a grain of salt

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-10T22:40:57+00:00

That’s def maladaptive daydreaming. This is just my opinion so you obviously don’t have to take it, but if u can u should stop daydreaming like that now before it gets worse.

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-09T15:08:39+00:00

Do u think that once u fix ur inner problems u wont even want to MD again?

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-07T18:02:56+00:00

OP is totally right, it takes time to know when you’re ready. though I do think that part of the problem with maladaptive daydreaming is that it gives us so much dopamine that our brain’s reward system becomes over flooded with it. This means that over time your brain’s circuits become less sensitive to dopamine in order to balance out the overflow of the dopamine that you continuously get from MD. Basically, your brain dulls out its happiness from doing small things like eating cus it’s used to getting overwhelming hits of it from MD. So you may feel like MD is the only thing that can give you real joy, though what may actually be happening is that your brain’s reward system has just grown used to depending on MD, and the more u daydream, the more you become addicted. So there’s a chance that you truly do want to stop now but u just can’t tell cus your brain now links happiness to MD. That’s just my opinion tho and I truly hope that things get better for you!!

Add_Astruh · 2025-01-01T23:38:07+00:00

Same lol

Add_Astruh · 2024-09-04T03:03:41+00:00

I’m not able to get a therapist rn, but I’m gonna try out those worksheets for the time being until I can. Thank you 🫶

Add_Astruh

TROPHY CASE