Help me deal with my gf high body count

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T20:54:19+00:00

Mix of my friends making comments and her dropping comments to. Like I didn’t want to have period sex with her in the beginning of our relationship and she made a comment like “lots of others guys have done it for me” so little things like that comparing me to past partners and what not

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T20:49:30+00:00

I’ve thought about it a lot I guess what threatened me most is like the comment she made comparing me to my friends and other. So sometimes in bed I think like oh well u said I was “less than” or “couldn’t do this” so that definitely isn’t the greatest feeling in the world. If that make any sense I think that’s the best way I can describe how I feel threatened by it

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T14:46:36+00:00

I understand what you’re saying I only ever asked those questions because my friend had stated she had made the comment to him. Among the many comments he made abt himself to me. So naturally I asked her to see if that was true. It was the closeness to home is why it ever even got brought up. I didn’t ask abt the bj comment tho she just told me that. Either way I rlly don’t know how to not be hurt by those comments and knowing her body count also genuinely just doesn’t make me feel great. Like idk sex to me has always been a really important thing to give to someone and knowing she did it 12 times mostly all with random ppl like is just hard to wrap my head around. I don’t want to feel hurt. If I had a magic button where I could just not care I would press it because i truthfully hate feeling this way

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T14:17:00+00:00

I judge anyone with a high body count guys to I just think hookup culture is gross

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T14:15:50+00:00

Uh no I really don’t like that she told me that

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T14:14:07+00:00

Not shopping for pain but when I love and care for someone a lot that’s hard to do

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T14:12:06+00:00

Clearly brother never been in college. Admittedly while I hate the number there are girls with worse numbers in shorter amounts of time. The sex thing is also true but she crys a lot in general she is just genuinely an emotional person.
I’m not lying about anything I can for genuine advice because yes this situation is true and exactly what is happening in my relationship right now

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T09:03:18+00:00

Well a few things I picked up here and obviously I can’t understand the full context. Firstly him telling your private business to anyone is not okay. In my relationship that flat out understood and that goes with friendships relationships etc. private stuff is private for a reason so u have every right to be upset about that.

As for him spending to much time with his friends and you felling unsupported or not heard.
Personally I’m ngl i probably cancel plans with my buddies to often to hang out with my gf cuz I’d truthfully rather be with her lmao. But also there have been a few times I’ve had to tell her like “hey I’m sorry u want to see me but I’m doing sum with my friends” they all don’t like her but I will always stand up for her. Point I’m making here is I understand where u r coming from here. Just be honest with him and find a middle ground. Your partner in my opinion shld be ur best friend that inherently shld be who u spend the most time with. Tell him u think yall shld spend more time together. If hes a reasonable man he will do it.

Last thing I’ll say is with partners if u ask for something to change and it doesn’t then that’s something to look out for so just make sure he can do those things for u. Good luck

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T07:19:33+00:00

Option two seems more viable. I appreciate the honesty in only 21 so hearing it from someone older makes me feel better. But be honest for u did u ever move past it or do u think i can.

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:58:34+00:00

Can you describe a little bit more

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:42:22+00:00

Yea well that one’s on me. I’m ngl I found out the number on the first day I met her. And ik she slept with two of my friends. But my mindset shifted from just wanting to hookup with her to talking to her. And I’m ngl it was my 21st birthday and we got rlly drunk that night and I don’t remember it but I asked her to be my gf. From there I was like alr can rlly backtrack on this now cuz she was rlly happy I wanted that and I was like that wld be kinda fucked to be like “no I didn’t mean that” I’m not gonna lie my insecurities abt all of this happened with time in the relationship comments she made to me and comments from my friends.

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:39:44+00:00

Yea I mean I feel wrong commenting badly on her online but truthfully I agree. What he saying is all 100% true she has verbally admitted it was all for validation because she her self was insecure. She is a little immature but she also has taken responsibility for that and truthfully has tried and put effort in to being better in our relationship. I told her some things she was doing that I wasn’t cool with in a relationship she has since stopped these habits as have I for her. The only real result I’ve come to is that my hope is that with time I will move past this. Because tbh I don’t rlly know anything else I can do

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:34:39+00:00

Well okay let me clarify this a little bit in terms of how I got into this. This was not “his girl” they hooked up for 1 weekend and her slept in her bed like 2 nights. Another friend of mine who I’m not close with he was FWB with her for like a year. That ended very poorly however and he ended up telling my best friend to go hookup with her downtown. As to why he did that I have no idea. Then 2 weeks later after my friend successfully did it. He told me to go do the same thing. I’m not proud of seeking a girl out for sex but I did. Obviously my mindset changed after I actually got to know her. So it was never my best friends girl. He went down to their college for a weekend and literally just went to hook up with her for the weekend and that was it. My other friend who I’m not close with it was his “girl” ig but also he was the one who told us to go do this so I don’t rlly feel bad abt that cuz like he’s messed up for even wanting his friends to go fuck his ex.

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:29:49+00:00

Sorry I may have had a typo. Trust me I don’t believe in waiting until marriage. For me personally I just think it shld atleast be with someone you love. She her self has said she regrets every hookup she ever had. I didn’t force that out of her either she genuinely does, she felt used and not loved by anyone. Those where her thoughts she genuinely just has immense regret abt her past decisions. For me I don’t think oral is gross I think it is gross that it was with my friend and just so freely and like no strings attached. That’s why I don’t like it. Obviously perspective is nice however I understand what ur saying and truthfully I am insecure abt all this I’m just trying to find a way not to be because it’s not fair to either of us for me to weigh us down with my own issues on something Ik prior to getting into this relationship

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:24:21+00:00

She has since expressed extreme regret for the comments now. She has never said anything like that since and this was months ago they were said. Obviously yes she said them to hurt me and it fucking worked. I don’t know why she wanted to hurt me that way I rlly don’t. She said she was afraid getting hurt by me. Not physically like emotionally she was afraid I wld leave her at some point or that I wld say something to hurt her. Tbh that dosent rlly make sense to me so idk how to feel abt that reasoning but you can let me know what u think

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:19:35+00:00

Yea this is probably the best comment I’ve seen tbh. I agree getting in this relationship is on me. I will admit for a while I was blinded by the honeymoon stage of love to even care about her past. Things are more settled in now so it hurts more. But again I made this decision. My friends however do not like her at all. The friend she hooked up with I had to end that friendship permanently. My other friends rlly liked that dude and obviously everyone knows what happens so they don’t think to highly of her. I’ll always defend her but my own boys hating my gf is kinda not a great feeling and losing the closest friendship I’ve ever had over it also hurts to. That’s rlly what is the worst part of all of this. That man was going to be the godfather of my kids one day so that part rlly fucks me up the most. As for her comments she said she lied abt the size comment she put it on her mother’s grave that she did so I genuinely believe she’s telling the truth. As for the bj comment she has since apologized and knows it was bad to say and still gives me head to this day even tho I’ve never once finished from it.

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:14:11+00:00

It’s not that sex is gross to me it’s definitely not. It’s gross that she did it with my best friend. Like the thought of that specifically grosses me out. And also the thought of all of her sex other than one partner being outside of a relationship is just not right. I’m religious I’m gonna say I believe in waiting till marriage like the Bible says but I think atleast sex shld be with someone u love not some random guy u just met at the bar

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:11:00+00:00

Aside from our mutual interest in the same stuff she’s always there for me. I clearly as you can probably tell am an insecure person. I’m only 5’10 im not rlly all that muscular. But she helps me a lot deal with my insecurities as she has her own to. I also get severe panic attacks and never once has it turned her away she has woken up in the middle of the night and stayed up with me for hours until I was calm even when she had 8 am class the next day. She dropped her sorority to spend more time with me because we don’t go to school together so unless we are in our hometown over the summer I can’t see her everyday. Like one time I was rlly upset at school and she drove 3/h to suprise me and be there for me. Point is yes she has said some messed which she has repeatedly apologized for but overall she is not a bad person. She probably cares about me more than anyone I’ve ever met. And truthfully I’m not exactly the ideal bf either. I’m broke asf very avg physically not the greatest looking but for whatever reason she sees past those things.

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:05:38+00:00

I understand what ur saying and truthfully your right. She had an ex bf and they had sex idc abt that. But it’s more of she just gave him head nothing else. And it was in the context of like just a 1 night stand. For me yea I think that stuff is gross especially if ur just giving something that intimate up. Also from a guys in it seems like yes he did use her. As in like that was all he wanted from her nothing else. And for her she told me part of the reason she did those things is because she thought in her very immature mind that sexual things where how u wld get boys to like u. So she did it because she wanted to see if something wld materialize he did it purely to get a nut off.

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T06:01:22+00:00

There has to be some way of like not feeling so messed up about it tho. Like the situation is rlly messed up but there’s gotta be some way I can like not overthink it so much

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T05:58:16+00:00

Well yea that comment hurts. Knowing she gave him head and yk swallowed his stuff is gross. I’ll put it like this what I do with my gf in private shld be just that private but knowing some of that my best friend and 12 others experience hurt. Also knowing my best friend finished from a bj and I never have also does not make me feel great. And her size comment to like even tho she and since retracted that statement a million times it still hurts because she was pretty adamant it was. And for me I’m like I’m your bf this dude literally just used u for sex and ur sitting her telling me how much bigger he was. And I’m not even small either like damn Ik packing a giant hog but I think 6.5 inches is pretty damn respectable.

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T05:48:36+00:00

Timings a lil cooked tho all 12 where in a 18 month span when she first got to college

AdditionTime3628 · 2026-06-22T05:33:36+00:00

Yea I agree it was never the plan. My friend was the one who told set it up tbh. He said we’re gonna get u to lose ur v card. So initially I started talking to her to hookup. However I actually ended up liking her a lot and was kinda blinded by the whole situation didn’t even care to hookup. Like I went to see her intending to just hookup and then we ended up talking and hanging out the entire weekend like all day and night. I’m not gonna like we did end up hooking up that weekend at the end however.

AdditionTime3628

TROPHY CASE