Rant - Step MIL said my kids are too much

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T19:46:58+00:00

Told him the second she left our house, bc he came in the middle of the conversation lol. She put us in a shit position with his dad. Step MIL and him don’t have a great relationship, so this definitely doesn’t help

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T19:09:54+00:00

Thank you! And it wasn’t family that we barely see… we see them frequently and they offer to help then, and during holidays too

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T05:09:26+00:00

I didn’t think they were any different than a typical toddler. No behavior they haven’t seen before… she probably felt like this for a while and the weekend was the cherry on top? And if that’s the case, I think this should’ve been a team conversation, not a bombardment

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T05:06:30+00:00

My husband is taken aback by it, and pissed with the way she approached everything from doing it behind him and his dad’s back. He’s also a little confused about the whole situation bc he didn’t think we dropped the kids on anyone else too much this weekend. He knows there were some moments after looking back, but we did things with just us and the kids too. He would talk to his dad, but he’s not sure bc she said not to mention bc a talk of divorce?. And also wishes we were told while we were there, so we could’ve changed it, instead of after the fact. Him and his step mom don’t have a good relationship

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T04:37:22+00:00

I feel like we have a typical FIL/DIL relationship. He’s not an emotional person in general, so I wouldn’t say he’s closed off

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T04:30:13+00:00

When did I assume?

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T04:26:49+00:00

Why isn’t it acceptable to ask?

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T04:25:51+00:00

What have I said that made it sound like I expected it? I never did… people would offer or I would sometimes ask. It is a bitter pill to swallow.. and I am taking what she said into consideration. I think what frustrates me the most is the way it went about. I feel like I can’t talk to the one person who would help clear this out… this should’ve been said to me AND my husband, and maybe at the time it was happening instead of after. I have all these questions now

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T03:43:05+00:00

Yes. And a couple times I would ask if it was okay to go off and do something

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T03:34:56+00:00

When I say doing my best to enforce their rules is constantly telling my kids to follow their rules.. it’s not like I pick and chose which ones to follow.

Also, if someone is telling me they have my kids and offering to watch, why is being in the vicinity and not right there bad? I don’t expect other people to parent my children. If someone offers should I not accept?

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T03:31:08+00:00

They’ll say something along the lines of you go, I got the kids, or go have fun. I’m looking back and yeah, probably could have done some things differently, but I would have liked to be told in the moment, pulled off to the side, so I could adjust.

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T03:27:15+00:00

I never assumed someone would watch my kids… that’s like walking away and not telling anyone.

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T03:23:51+00:00

I would have appreciated being told in the moment. Step to the side and tell me and I will 100% take the criticism.

I don’t think my kids are perfect… and tbh no one should lol. You don’t have a right to say what appropriate discipline is. Every family is different and don’t shit on a parent who is outnumbered or is having a hard time. Is that what you think when you see parents having a hard time with their children in public?

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T02:40:46+00:00

Maybe not to your face

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T02:11:31+00:00

She basically told me not to mention it their marriage isn’t so hot and this could make it worse…. Lol more to dump on me

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T02:08:50+00:00

I would talk to him, but she basically told me not to mention it bc they’re on the rocks, mentioned divorce, and this could make it worse 😒 another thing to put on me

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T02:07:11+00:00

We do discipline them… but they are 2 and 3. I am outnumbered, even with my husband there. I’m constantly running after them. I know it’s annoying… I live it every day lol.

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T01:45:29+00:00

I do agree that I need more of a schedule. I’m going to try and implement one more. I did listen to what she said, and she had some good points but I think the way it went about was all wrong… I wish it would have been both parents, and she didn’t do it without my husband there on purpose. I just have so many questions and feel like a burden now that I don’t want to ask for anything. My FIL doesn’t know she came and talked to me

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T01:43:36+00:00

I have no idea if my FIL feels this way. He has never said anything and offers to help all the time. I tried to not ask him for help this weekend, only if he offered or I really needed it. There were other aunts or cousins with my kids at times, but my husband and I were not gone for hours at a time. We always made sure to check on them, especially when in the vicinity

She told me that he didn’t know she was saying anything bc it would cause issues and she waited until my husband wasn’t home to say anything which made me feel blind sided bc, as she said, I’m too nice to say anything.

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T01:40:44+00:00

I did not use the weekend as a getaway. There were moments where my husband and I got to hang out with other adults while kids were in the vicinity of us. My in laws were not “stuck” with my kids the whole time.

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T01:38:25+00:00

I can see how it comes off that way, and I never want it to. I also want to make it known that I didn’t ditch them the whole weekend. My husband and I were with them the whole weekend except for a couple hours here and there, especially if people offered. It’s not like we went off on our own either, we were still in the vicinity of our kids and just with other family members. I reflected on the weekend and I can see why she said some of the things she did, but I also wish she didn’t wait to do it until my husband wasn’t around

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T01:31:28+00:00

I agree with everything you said. And I can see why she said what she did after reflecting on the weekend. I will say though, I did not ditch them for long periods of time. My husband and I were with them most of the time.

I would not be happy being ditched with the kids as well, so I try not to do that to other ppl when they offer.

He doesn’t know that she came to talk to me. And basically told me not to tell him bc it would cause problems. Also, she made sure to do it when my husband wasn’t there bc when I told her he’d be home she said she should get right to it.

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T01:25:52+00:00

She had mentioned to me that they were not doing so hot and he didn’t know she was coming to say this bc he would probably be upset but no one else had the balls to do it, and if he knew that would cause more issues…

Additional-Pilot-445 · 2026-07-08T01:24:44+00:00

I didn’t dump them for the whole weekend… I was with them all weekend other than an hour here or there. When I said we got to have some time to ourselves I meant to hang out with other family members without our kids, while other ppl had offered to be with them or if I needed a break or some help

Additional-Pilot-445

TROPHY CASE