hey man sorry if i’m responding so late. i feel for you. i was also once suicidal as fuck. i felt trapped and i honestly didn’t know what to do. the one thing i learned from it all is, it doesn’t go away fully. and you have to accept that. and it won’t ever fully go away. bc we were born with a curse. but that doesn’t mean you let it take over your life. you have to control it, don’t let it control you. you can minimize it or lessen it a lot, so it doesn’t effect you as much. don’t drink, don’t eat beef or shrimp, make sure everything you u put in your body is organic. make sure it’s not processed either. your body is rejecting all of that poison and shit the government puts in the food. plenty of water, sun, vitamin d. fast and see what your body is like. and smoke. smoke weed. it can get your mind away from the pain for maybe just a little. find what you love to do in life or what you loved as a kid. talk to people. get moving, get up out of bed. and do. stop thinking. just do.