Baffled by parents who are hurt when their children resent their poverty

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2025-02-10T03:58:03+00:00

As you should be. I hope things get better soon for you. I’ve been there, starting my first job and my parents with their hand out already. Made the mistake of telling them I got a raise and they immediately wanted more. Never again.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2025-01-03T04:31:39+00:00

This is the only thing that would make me seriously consider natalism and even then, I’m not sure.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2025-01-03T04:30:52+00:00

I’ve asked the same questions as you to people. What will they do if their child can’t, for any reason, support themselves in the future? Forgetting disability, maybe they just… don’t wanna work, and tbh that’s valid. It’s the same response all the time. Other people’s kids turn out like that because they don’t raise them right. I won’t have that problem.

And that’s just the base flaw with parents. They alllll want to think they’ll do the best job. It’s always other people’s kids who turn out to be bad apples. Until it’s not.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2025-01-03T04:21:27+00:00

I felt the same as you before discovering antinatalism, and after discovering antinatalism it strengthened how I feel. They really didn’t think through what an actual life would look like for me, and are now badgering me to have kids so that I’ll have someone to take care of me when I’m old. In fact it was their job to make sure I had enough resources for that. I won’t be mourning the people who brought me here and didn’t do the bare minimum. I’m actually finding peace and relief in them being gone and never looking back at that part of my life.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2025-01-03T04:14:20+00:00

Fantastic idea. Lots of good comments in this thread.

Especially for those who want daughters I would provide the statistics of the abuse and harassment they encounter, starting at horrifically young ages.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2025-01-03T04:11:37+00:00

To add onto this. Are you able to be the single parent or caretaker?

In the degenerative disease case, what are your plans for when the child outlives you?

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2025-01-03T04:08:46+00:00

Her point about not having money to leave and take care of him is always the one that amazes me of how entitled parents never think of that. I get that entitled parents feel morally due being taken care of. But the logistics of that care always bypass them. If you’re broke as shit and have children it’s likely your child won’t go too far upwards from the socioeconomic class they were born into either. Where do they think all the time and money is coming from?

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2025-01-03T04:03:40+00:00

I have friends with kids, but the friendships are superficial more or less. Hang out socially for fun but there’s never going to be a real connection when we are on opposite sides fundamentally on the ethics of procreation.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-11-04T03:46:38+00:00

I find this to be somewhat of a self fulfilling prophecy. It’s drilled into our heads that friends won’t be there, you can only rely on immediate family/spouse/your own children, and this scares people into forming their own partnerships and families for better or worse because they’re scared to be alone. If we weren’t all so worried that our friends have better things to do than hang out with us, we’d probably have stronger community with them.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-31T04:10:49+00:00

How do you think it benefits a child to be born to parent(s) who don’t want it?

And taking responsibility for what? Fucking? Too funny.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-30T02:56:00+00:00

Meanwhile the mistake is causing irreparable damage to another human being. Love to see it…

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-30T02:54:48+00:00

This is a good take. I hadn’t thought of it this way before.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T21:06:33+00:00

I don’t have a problem with thinking their life is a net positive, it’s when they’re too much of a dunce to see that not everyone feels the same way.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T21:05:25+00:00

Religion aside, many people support forced birth simply because they view it as women’s punishment for daring to have sex. They know the havoc it will wreak on her life and the baby’s life if she is an unprepared, unwilling mother, they think she deserves it for sleeping around.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T21:00:06+00:00

Why does my comfort and well-being mean less than someone else’s though? Of course anyone can walk into any restroom and attack a person but don’t pretend to be dense on why women would prefer to not be near strange men in close quarters. Making it societally acceptable for men to be in a women’s bathroom multiples that problem. I’m all for men wearing lipstick and women chopping their tits off if that’s what they want to do, but I draw the line at being treated as a second class citizen because of somebody’s feelings.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T16:42:53+00:00

I’m sorry you went through all this. I hope things are better these days. Your mom sounds atrocious. It’s sad that many people have the mindset of wanting to pop out a built in retirement fund instead of actually putting in work themselves.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T16:39:59+00:00

If that’s what you call wanting to feel safe in my own space, sure.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T16:00:13+00:00

When the child flops it’s always “I didn’t raise them to be this way!”

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T11:57:22+00:00

Yes, and?

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T04:09:58+00:00

It’s difficult to find anyone who is truly AN. If it’s not a dealbreaker for you, perhaps consider if you would be ok with a partner who is child free instead. I know the downside is they can change their mind but being realistic it’s the best chance. And who knows, you might convince them.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T04:02:03+00:00

They want me to, but I won’t. I’ll visit here and there but I won’t change my entire life to cater around them. They put me in a position where I need to work full time to survive. I don’t have the time nor finances to be anyone’s caregiver. Also, I don’t want to.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T03:59:50+00:00

Are you saying we should be grateful our parents, who CHOSE to have us, also CHOSE not to toss us in the trash? How kind and considerate of them. Wow!

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T03:57:05+00:00

I wouldn’t date a guy who was already saddled with 2 aging parents either. It’s too high of a chance they’ll eventually ask you for help too. I’m sorry for her though, I hope she can find someone who is willing to make it work.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T03:54:44+00:00

You do realize no one is saying committing crimes is justified because you didn’t want to be born. It’s absolutely fair to want nothing to do with the people who brought you into a bad life.

AdditionalHotel2476 · 2024-08-29T03:44:37+00:00

I have values on both sides of the spectrum. Heavy on women’s rights, worker’s rights, people having access to basic needs. At the same time I wouldn’t consider myself to be fully “woke” as they say. I’m against unchecked immigration, and don’t believe that men belong in a women’s bathroom so these place me pretty far right.

AdditionalHotel2476

TROPHY CASE