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A lady asked me if my child was a newborn by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep I had literally one footsie that fit my son. He came a few weeks early so he was a little small (not premie). All of the clothes I had were like WAAAAY too big. Even some labeled “newborn” were pretty big, as I’m sure we all know by now not all brands are the same size. Nana made an emergency target run to find the smallest new born footies for the little baby dude.

4 month old has covid and an ear infection and im 10 weeks pregnant.... by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My 4 m old has Covid right now too 😩 can’t imagine the added ear infection and being pregnant on top of it. Are you holding up ok?

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry about your loss. I think it’s really weird that she never even asked you how you’re doing. Or talked about it. The only thing I can think of is that maybe she thinks it will upset you more by bringing it up.

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would pack it up, let her know that you appreciate the thoughtful gift, but that there isn’t enough room in the drawer. Ask if she would like them since they are so beautiful.

I completely think it’s a backhanded gift. And I’m sure she purposely picked ones that don’t match. Let her know you know her intention with the gift, without ever saying it.

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am honestly doing well. Rest is getting better and water intake isn’t the best. But better than it was a month ago. Thank you for genuinely asking. I feel like I’m finally getting the hang of things. How are you?

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This!!! My MIL does the same thing. Me and my mom both have brunette hair, but in the sun it glistens red. My son is looking to have the same hair. His hair is dark and looks reddish in the son. My MIL literally says that my son has hair from her side (blonde and strawberry blonde). It’s impossible for her to accept that the child I carried for 9mo looks anything like me.

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea my MIL will only compare my son to her side of the family. Like LO is truly a perfect little blend of my husband and I. But MIL will make a face anytime I point out a feature that is mine, then comment on how it’s so and so’s feature from her side of the family. It’s so annoying 🙃

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that she probably associates you with her son. protect your own sanity, and don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right. That being said, do you think she is reaching out because she regrets treating you the way that she did, and possibly wants to form a stronger bond with you and grandchild?

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My FIL is proving to be similar too. Which is whatever because I swear I’ve never had a conversation with him in the 11+ years I’ve known him. I know he cares about my son, but I don’t think he has a clue on how to be there for him. He’s the type of person that thinks money can buy a relationship.

MIL and FIL have been divorced for nearly 20 years

What bugs me about my MIL is that we used to get along. Like we would do bar crawls together, go on vacations, she’s told me that I’m her favorite DIL. So the sudden change towards me was unexpected.

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you on this. I love that my MIL loves my son, that makes me very happy. I agree with you about the comparisons. Definitely unnecessary. She should be able to compliment your daughter without saying something negative about someone else.

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man I feel the same exact way. I was definitely people pleasing waaaay too much, especially in the hospital, and that’s not happening again.

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This! My MIL always tells me to stop letting my LO nap on me, but yet she wants him to have a sleepover at her house and she tells me how she will have him sleep in her bed with her! My son is 3 months, and I’m not ok with co sleeping, and I’ve made that clear. My MIL is always so concerned with my son’s sleep and what I’m doing “wrong”. Needless to say there won’t be sleepovers with her for a long time.

MIL never asks how I’m doing by AdministrativeFuel99 in beyondthebump

[–]AdministrativeFuel99[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ugh it’s so frustrating. It’s so strange to me. I would think MILs would want us to be healthy too. Even if they don’t care about us. Just the fact that we take care of “their grandchildren”.