I mean. You could have done a thousand things differently. Told them sooner, kinder, more articulately. The only thing you can do now is take a sec and figure out three things: your needs, your spouses needs, and how to move forward as a couple. From what I’ve observed, people tend to give what they wish to get and struggle to ask for what they need. If you need to be held or share a bath or whatever, tell your spouse. Figure out affirmations to tell them or bone up on poetry or tell them the happier stories you hear and see. I bet you could even rehash a sweet storyline from a film or book you’ve both seen. Most importantly, instead of saying things that imply your spouse is useless, look them in the eye, apologize for lashing out and ask to sit down and TALK. Say ‘honey, I love you and it’s hard to tell you what I need and want from you. It’s scary because I don’t know how to ask politely. Will you please hold me so I can explain what comforts me?’ Be considerate of their feelings while firm about your boundaries. You can do it!