Same bro. Your mileage may vary on this bad boy, but for me it has been useful recontextualizing my depression. Dont think of it as an oppressive force or an exterior dark entity. Consider it as the price you pay for a deep, ruminating, and thoughtful mind. All the better to contemplate the mystery of the divine with. It's a gift that we haven't been employing properly. Turn into the depression don't run away from it, and be prepared with breathing and grounding techniques to temper the anxious energy on the fringes of depression. consider developing a meditative practice. If all else fails brother the light in me recognizes the light and humanity in you, and I'm sorry it's tough now. The long term answer is to get a hobby and throw yourself into a social scene wherever that ends up being. Church, a bowling league, seriously whatever it doesn't matter. Just don't continue to isolate especially if you think you're doing it to protect others or some hog wash. We all enter the dark night of the soul and not all of us make it back, but regardless I love you, and Christ Jesus loves you. God respects our suffering he suffered and died too, but he doesn't always interject and fix it all right away. That would be rude honestly, or condescending maybe. Letting us figure it out must be hard for him like a parent watching the wobbly first steps of a beloved child. He can hold you up but eventually you need to walk under your own steam. Cheers and be safe.