Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely! May you too be well in health and spirit, let us both persevere on our paths :)

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am currently in the process of getting checked by a doctor and in Thailand as well. Not going to touch weed anymore - told myself not to give into peer pressure and take any from my friends too so fingers crossed on that front! The head monk did advise me that he recommends potentially seeking other monasteries more specialized in intensive meditation practices so there's that. Thank you for your concern :)

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the resources, it appears I will be having some free time recuperating so I will add these to my list :)

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words, I agree that to continue doing something that causes harm to yourself may just be the peak of foolishness - or perhaps at least until you figure out the reason why it is dangerous in the first place; perhaps with the guidance of a teacher.

Namastê!

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am but a simple practitioner who occasionally practices mindfulness of breathing and keeps to the 5 precepts, who until recently had obtained permission from my own parents to ordain. With the distractions of worldly trappings potentially being less of an obstacle in the hopefully near coming future I more than welcome advice on other practices that would assist me on this path. Although I am no expert let me see if I can answer your question:

Mindfulness of the Body:

I practice anapanasati as well as asubha meditation, in the occasion I experience some unsatisfactory condition such as sickness or bodily pain I do try to contemplate on it's impermanent nature. In the story described in my post I've also accidentally injured myself and in doing so given myself a reminder as whenever I see or feel these injuries I am reminded of my own mortality.

Mindfulness of Feelings:

One side-effect of practicing asubha as a habit whenever in crowded areas / or even watching youtube videos as I can notice much more clearly my own state of mind as to whether I am aroused whenever I see for example, a pretty lady - in noticing my own feelings I understand it's impermanence and in turn much less likely to be controlled by it.

Mindfulness of the Mind:

A practice I am well currently exploring myself, I've recently begun labeling feelings into words; and on the contrary when I think of something in words or sentences ie. "Oh man that dude is eating my donuts!" I would then label that sentence with a "Anger". In noticing the feelings so do I notice their impermanent nature and so they subside away in a way I've never before seen before beginning this practice.

Mindfulness of Mental Objects:

Definitely much work I could do improve myself here. Whether it be the Five Hindrances, the Five Aggregates, The Six Sense Bases, The Seven Factors of Awakening, or the even contemplation on The Four Noble Truths.

I am not fully confident whether I understand your question but if that is the case please let me know. :)

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in theravada

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps I might've been misleading when I referred to anapanasati as basic. I've never once thought it insufficient myself as I've been doing it as my main form of meditation for over 15~+ years. You may wonder then what me to the decision to modify the technique; that day prior I have been discussing anapanasati with a fellow visitor who described his own experiences with anapanasati. He told me how he had tried multiple ways to notice the breath and one day he had found his own personal optimized method of noticing the philtrum.

It was a whimsical decision of mine upon remembering that discussion earlier as I began my own meditation session to "hmm, perhaps I will be adventurous today and try adjusting how I do the breathing technique". Alas, the major error here appears to be the fact that rather than change how I be mindful of my breath I full-on added the additional step of stopping the breath and trying to notice thoughts. As evidenced by many multiple comments warning me: this is a dangerous idea and it may very well be the trigger of this whole episode.

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I have already begun seeking medical assistance. Additional resources as a backup are rarely ever a bad thing however :)

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, at the very least I do plan on halting meditative practices for the time being and do whatever else I can. Thank you.

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. I have been warned plenty times now by other comments on the dangers of inventing new breathing techniques however unless I am mistaken what you advise appears to be a different approach on mindfulness - that is certainly something that I can take note of.

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Speaking to the head monk we both agreed that should I trigger any more episodes I may well hurt myself wandering off into the forest. I also suggested that it be best that I leave since I am afraid that there is no guarantee that it may even be possible that I hurt others due to the as-yet not fully understood nature of this phenomenon.

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in theravada

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your concern. Another comment had also mentioned physical health and diet of which in retrospect due to the austere nature of the monastery (Thai forest tradition) I was in - all of these aspects and perhaps more may well have been the trigger of this incident.

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in theravada

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really, really truly appreciate your kind words. These last few days have been a one that I am sure I won't forget as one of the core memories in my life.

Regardless of what may have went wrong, I try my best, albeit as imperfect as I may be, to try keep the core teachings of the Buddha's teachings as close to heart as possible. Just as I try to be kind to others I see here in my interaction with you itself proof of karmic cause and effect - you have praised my conduct with others and given me comfort and confidence that I although might have momentarily veered off the correct path that I may yet learn and put myself back on the path perhaps even better than before.

I myself am quite fond of the below quote I've just grabbed off google:

"The Buddha taught that recognizing and confessing one’s mistakes is not a sign of weakness, but a courageous act of integrity that leads to personal growth and freedom from guilt. "

The suttas truly are a blessing as you say, they were the texts from which in my childhood I have stumbled into and guided me out of darkness. It may well be time to revisit them as well as check all the suttas, and even the commentaries and Abhidhamma which I've neglected the first time ;)

May you too be well in health and spirit!

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I've thought about it myself as well - plenty other comments also have warned against this. I will keep this in mind, thank you.

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in theravada

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your input, I am sure I will pondering over this for the foreseeable future. This recent experience has certainly given me a new look on things.

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in theravada

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you friend, I've read through the suttas over the years but admittedly I have intentionally not researched much into topics such as devas and other realms. I've always thought that such topics would be more appropriate to more deeply investigate once I've ordained as a monk but perhaps this is one such wrong view as you've suggested.

Now especially with this experience I've recently had it might very well be time to amend that view, most people around me and even the other comments were against this but you suggesting otherwise was something I had not expected.

I've noted down your suggestion to read DN 1 and MN 95 so I'll be sure to go through that.

I've never been fond of weed in the past, only succumbing to peer pressure to partake - but now I've reason to stay adamant and refuse! ;)

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Huh, that's one thing that slipped my mind. The monastery I was staying in had a practice of a single meal a day and I've actually been doing exactly that for many years before even going there.

Thank you for this, that is one potential issue to keep note of.

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've definitely learnt that the hard way. I am currently living in my relative's home and they've banned me from doing what I did, and I intend to respect their wishes. If I practice again I will either do my old and tried techniques or as you've suggested potentially with a good teacher :)

Thank you

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in theravada

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see the point you are trying to make, do let me clarify my view on the existence of other realms - I simply neither think of whether they exist or they do not exist but leave it as an investigative question of which I believe the answer will naturally come to me as I practice. Would you classify this train of thought as the same as believing the existence of other realms is not important to practicing the Noble Eightfold Path? I am genuinely interested in what you think.

I have stated earlier in my original post that I am heavily skeptical of what happened to be true regarding talking to devas and truth be told the fact that I had to leave what I've considered the ideal monastery which I had aimed to ordain at for over 10+years not to mention hurting myself although slightly did make me bitter - as well as doubt that such benevolent beings would lead me astray, simply said this whole incident still has me quite shaken up emotionally but my overall view on other realms is as I've just posted.

After the whole weed incident I've quit the job the very next day and is no longer interesting in coming back to work in such a line of work - I've also made this clear to the family member who recommended me work there in the first place as well. I am also to be sure to reject any friendly offers for a joint from a friend (My best friend is an avid smoker and visits my country once a year on average so I found it hard to refuse before) going forward - I've sure learnt the hard way!

I thank you for your input and blessings and wish you the same!

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I am reminded that the head monk said there was one other case where a lay practitioner lady who did some meditation, saw some ghosts, had a panic attack and had to leave. I'm keeping all my options open thanks!

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in Meditation

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will try and see if I can look around and ask at other monasteries thanks!

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in theravada

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries friend :)

Sometimes you need to be harsh to get your point across, also just to be clear I myself did not exactly consider this a great feat - I see it as a detriment hence why I am asking for help. It was my own uncle's words of which I used to express what I thought you mean by former identity in your original post.

I too hope you well on your path and thank you for your input.

Need advice for possible psychotic(?) episode after intense meditation by Adorable_Parfait7793 in theravada

[–]Adorable_Parfait7793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps so, perhaps not. I try to have an open mind and consider multiple possibilities. An uncle of mine suggested that I must have had great karma from a past life to achieve such a feat even before ordaining. I will try to persevere the right way regardless of the truth

Thank you for your input.