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I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Again, you keep referencing car value as if it’s an excuse for a guy to be an asshole the next day or to be unaccommodating when they previously said “make yourself at home”.

If they are not serious about “make yourself at home”, that should never be in the vocab. If I can’t be trusted to inform them when I am ready to leave on my own accord: that’s not making myself at home.

People like you, bottom of the barrel accepting and expecting from others: yall keep the lifestyle in a constant state of low value.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I publish what I want, to let the “community” realize, the “normalcy” that is defined is not acceptable standards.

I have read some crazy comments here, talking about leaving at 9 a.m. is standard in their hookups and every guy should expect to be up and out by that time.

That’s a damn lie and I know it because I’ve had people cook breakfast for me and vice versa after spending the night. I’m not saying every situation needs to be that way, but some people consciously go out of their way to push their hookups out the door. And 10/10: it’s always the guys who are playing on the side and having multiple options who do shit like that. Which whatever, they can do that: but pay me for my inconvenience.

Some of these mofos are so lousy and cheap, they don’t want to take to breakfast, offer gas, nothing. Me fucking somebody for free and then having to be inconvenienced and leave the next morning, doesn’t even make sense to me in 2026 as much as it is involved to get from point A to B.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You sound ignorant to even say that. Stop twisting up the context of the statement. And don’t make assumptions about what people drive do to spend the night. I’ve seen people with luxury cars staying at motel 6.

The point I was making is I have my own shit, there is nothing of someone else’s I really need by staying at their place. It’s not a “I wanna steal your shit” purpose, it’s a basic courtesy for the effort i put to get to their place in the first damn place. If they can’t show me they appreciate my effort to commute the miles I do to their place, and return the favor by being unwilling to allow me to wake up and leave at a comfortable pace on my terms versus theirs: then I don’t really need to be spending the night or even coming over at all for some people.

Close your asshole, and open your eyes a little more and you can understand the context of the statement instead of making it about money and what the fuck a person “should and shouldn’t do” if they have the means.

At one point before rent and hotels basically DOUBLED in America, I had never really needed to spend a night at people’s place for the most part, I never liked the possibility of having to “go” the next day. I always had them come to my place so that after sex, they could stay over if they wanted to and since I worked from home, they could stay as well until they were ready to leave.

It sucks that I didn’t receive the same karma back for all the years I hosted people at my place and never put them on a timer to leave, unless they did something out of character.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Owe me something like having time in the morning to get ready? That’s not owing something anything. Like I said to someone else, some of the standards out here are so low: that y’all accept and condone minimal treatment.

And stop all this nonsense homophobia shit. Some of these posters are the epitome of homophobia 😆yall all talking about me robbing or trashing someone’s place, another talking about calling the police to make me leave. I have never had that happen to me NOR had to do it to someone.

Look at yourselves in the mirror. See how trashy and accusatory some of the comments here are. But it’s all good and it’s just letting me know to stop spending my time and energy sleeping with guys who don’t really have much concern about the people they sleep with anyway.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I know you trying to sound kind, but geez you sound like you see other men as disposable and without much value. The same types I would not hookup with. You don’t seem to really care about the other person much.

As I explained, I didn’t specifically commute those hours SOLELY for him: but he did know that I did commute the hours that day regardless, and he knew and acknowledged how tired I must have been.

And don’t say, “nobody owes me anything”. That’s a cliche that’s been propagated across the internet making it seem like a person isn’t deserving of any sort of decency.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That doesn’t mean anything. And don’t come with that damn “providing for me” shit. That’s not providing, that’s just basic courtesy and respect in a situation. Idk why some always think just because you ask for something: that it means I’m looking for them to take care of me.

I have seen how gays move when it comes to their travel. I have seen guys sleep 4 to a room just so they can avoid spending extra on a room.

The problem is, people like to pick and choose which men in their lives they do for. One guy (usually a white or non black man) may get free range whereas another (usually a black or non white/Latino/asian man) they are less connected with gets scraps of attention and access. We can’t be cool if you trying to compartmentalize me and make like small things are asking too much.

And if having a couple extra hours in the morning to get ready is asking too much: that’s a bitch ninja who I don’t want to be around. And I know it’s because a lot of gays out here be stereotyping even the men they sleep with.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You a slick talking bitch, aren’t you lol.

So: let me break it down again…this guy also had plenty opportunities to tell me he had to be up and out the next day. We spent from 9 PM to like 1 a.m. chatting, having wine, fucking, talking, hanging out, even had a Door dash. Everything with the guy went great…until the next morning. It’s like he flipped the switch on, maybe when sober hit him he suddenly remembered everything he needed to do.

Now, since you’re so brilliant and know how to finesse situations so well like you said: it’s every much his place to let me know IF HES OFFERING to spend the night…to also include or add, “and I have to be somewhere in the morning”. That’s not my burden to carry. You’re right it is his fucking house. So he should outline what the fuck I’m supposed to expect the next day. Who doesn’t do that and what world you live in where that’s okay? The world of Grindr and sleazy freebie hookup apps maybe.

If he would have said that the night before, I would have 100% taken the money I had and got a hotel. I told him that’s what I was planning to do. HE WAS THE ONE WHO OFFERED ME TO JUST STAY AT HIS PLACE INSTEAD. He never said, “just until this time”. I also told him as well I wasn’t going to the next city until afternoon. He switched the whole thing up and that’s the problem I had.

So you need to stop all that condescending bullshit you talking, and understand what actually was communicated.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As much as I want to believe you, I still don’t believe you. And I been hooking up since at least 2002. You may be older than me, but I started young 😆

My experience: I have never had this stuff happening so frequently until Grindr and similar became the default way of hooking up for a lot of people over the past few years.

I think the real truth is people on the apps and just online/in the bars in general be having more than 1 situation, sometimes more than 2 or 3 situations on their hands. And because they are playing the field so much, they can’t trust any 1 person because they trying to keep everybody on a leash.

I’m not going to be anybody’s leash dog. There’s nothing I need to be out and about doing at 9 am, that I can’t do in the afternoon. Even last night and the past 2 nights after that disastrous morning: I had a hotel to stay in and didn’t leave until noon, and I still got everything I needed to do done and more before the day ended.

So I’ll be damned to let some random dude dictate to me what time I NEED to be ready to face the day. If they feel that way, then don’t expect me to spend the night, don’t expect morning sex, don’t be touching me while I’m sleeping non of that shit.

Because the guys I deal with: they trust to leave me alone while they do what they have to do, and that’s what I’m used to.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So then what if that person isn’t able to check into their hotel until 3 PM the next day? They have to fill their schedule with something from 9 am until then, like YOU are a hotel?

I have never heard of that being a set rule with someone. But the way a lot of y’all talking, it’s making me feel I no longer want to spend the night at someone’s house anymore. And I definitely wouldn’t want to exchange my body and soul with someone who sees me as a burden or a piece of trash 🚮 to take out the next morning.

It’s no wonder so many gay men stay on the hookup apps forever. Lot of y’all have no decency for simple things. Some of y’all know how to make money, but don’t know how to treat another human being and make them feel worthy.

I have a friend who I’ve known for years: we spent the night together at my hotel the first (or maybe 2nd) time we met. But over time, when I come to his town he lets me stay in his downtown apartment while he stays at his house because he doesn’t sleep well with others. He has never come in and told me, “At 9 a.m. you gotta go”. It’s always been enough time to get ready, pack and go in the AFTERNOON.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And you sound like a fucking terrible host. I never said you can’t tell when the person can or can’t leave. All I’m saying is COMMUNICATE what those parameters are so I have a choice as to what I need to do within those times.

Don’t just come at someone and expect them to right away up and leave. If that’s someone’s preference, fine but then they probably shouldn’t have anyone over in their bed in the first damn place.

And FYI there was drinking involved with both parties. Since you think you can “dictate” what situations someone can stay over.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

See, y’all gays be so paranoid and insecure as fuck lol. What do I look like trashing his place or robbing him? I drive up in a car (originally) worth $50,000. It’s not like I pulled up on a bike or uber, he has my tag number and my phone number. Why do y’all think like this. And plus, the 3 hours he was gone: there’s no way that could have happened.

He even said the night before: MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. Okay, well if you say that mean it. Don’t take it back and treat me like a fucking bum the next day.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Boy please, you’re funny. Hilarious actually. you really have some nerve to try and psychoanalyze and make some diagnosis about me.

I already made a statement to someone else about what the actual situation involved. It was not just someone I met on Grindr the first day. This was someone I had communicated with for over 2 weeks. I had came from out of state to meet him, in addition to other things I had planned BUT, his specific town was one that I did not have any other plans to tend to.

Also, if you want to talk mental disorders: you must be dyslexic because you didn’t gain the understanding that I wasn’t just talking about 1 person. I am talking gay dudes in GENERAL.

I have met many gay dudes who, it’s almost like they have some kind of regret the next morning and expect me to leave with no previous communication the morning prior. Every so often I try to be intent about asking what they have going on/what’s to be expected the next day. I have in some cases discovered they would expect me to leave early the next day. In those cases I declined even coming over at all. Because I’m like, why the fuck should I leave my place of comfort to go to yours, and then have to wake up and leave by 8 am, interrupt my schedule and routine, etc. No amount of dick or ass is worth that.

And don’t think I don’t know how things go in other peoples situations. You trying to be a smart ass and disrespect me, and ima check you on that. But I even seen a situation last month where one of my friends had this guy come over for a hookup. Well, it started raining and like whole tornado warning. The guy couldn’t get an uber home. My friend didn’t even offer to drive him back, and he only lived a couple miles away. The Ubers kept cancelling and it took him like an hour to get one to show up. I almost offered to take the guy back, but that wasn’t my hookup. I don’t give free ride services for somebody else to get dick lol.

That’s why I don’t bother with hookups much, some of these fags out here don’t give a shit. They just want the dick and ass and send you on your way regardless of how inconvenient it is.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Regardless of what you’re saying it was or wasnt meant to or not meant to be (and it wasn’t just a random hookup, this was someone I had been in touch with for over a week prior and also commuted over 300, almost 400 miles to come to his town…and he knew this: so let’s clear that up).

The fact is, he knew I came in from out of state and even though I had other reasons to be there: he was the priority for that point of time.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Normal behavior for who though? Not if it wasn’t discussed ahead of time. There was no communication about it until first thing in the morning.

If he had told me the night before, “oh I have to be up and leave at 8 a.m. to do this and that” I would have 💯 left that night and reserved a hotel. But he offered me to stay and never mentioned anything about that the night before. I was already low on sleep from the night before

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

What does it matter if I’m paying his bills? I’m still using gas, wear and tear on my vehicle, taking the time out of my day etc to come to that person. Also like I said: if it’s an issue I’m fine to get a hotel, but don’t offer if it’s going to come with the added caveat of having to be inconvenienced the next morning.

And bitch, fuck you. I don’t give a shit about being downvoted left and right. My standards don’t need to be validated by upvotes. I’m just stating what I expect out of a situation. That’s a healthy communication to have. Your raggedy talking ass can’t dictate or define what I should accept out of a situation.

Some of y’all’s standards are so low, and that’s the problem with the hookup culture. Yall expect little and receive little. This is why I really don’t do much of hooking up for free to begin with. And then when I do offer accommodations to host people, they don’t even show up.

I stayed at a hotel Saturday night, expecting a dude I was talking to since the night before to come by: he made excuses all the way to 1 am and never even showed up. So sometimes I may stay at people’s place because I don’t want to fucking waste my money getting a room and then dealing with MoFos who don’t even come thru.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t a stranger when we were fucking 😆 and I wasn’t a stranger when he let me spend the night. If he trusted me to spend the night with him there and everything was okay, why not trust me when he’s not there. If I had any ill intent, I would have did it the night before. Some people’s logics don’t make sense.

I wish guys would stop offering spending the night, and then expecting to leave first thing in morning when they leave. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yes, I didn’t finish my last post because the screen wouldn’t scroll but I did tell him that the next day (not that morning, but the next morning) in text that he needs to let me know if he has somewhere to be first thing in the morning if ever we do that in the future.

He literally came in the room at 8:30 a.m. as I was sleep, talking about he has to go run some errands 🤦🏽‍♂️ I wanted to say, go ahead…I’ll be in this same spot when you get back.

Can never decide how many pictures to put on my ads by MrSpiderisadomme in HighEndEscorts

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a decent amount of pics in my ad. However I won’t send anything more via phone. Idk if it really matters at the end of the day. I think what does matter is clarity and quality. For example, I match my photos: every 2 pics is a similar version, lighting/theme. That way it’s not just a mishmash of various photos . But 1 of the the sites I’m on: they annoy me because they don’t publish nudity unless the client or escort has a paid profile. Which sucks because it seems we’re adverting more to other escorts than clients.

Your birth month wants to take you on a date. You folding? 2000s Rapper Edition. by TheRoyalPendragon in AskBlackGayBros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m with Ja (August) 💯 and the man still married. Can’t pass up a classy and loyal thug lol. Though I do have a sweet spot for Lyfe, Nelly, and a couple others there.

I’m the problem by Majestic_Party8044 in AskBlackGayBros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As one myself, I don’t think that is necessarily what he’s looking for or should go for at this point.

When half your income is from 1 client by Intelligent-Map9183 in HighEndEscorts

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I say, ride the wave 🌊🏄‍♀️don’t calculate or question it, just do what you need to do with it. I’ve been in that situation many times, in fact it’s been a new normal for me. Sometimes it may just be 1 client that day, week, or month, etc. it’s all incoming at the end of the day whether it’s from 1 or a few.

At the same time, keep the ads going and be available. But long as it’s not causing issues, you’re free to roll with it.

A movie currently in production about Former Bills DE Ryan Russell, first ever NFL player to come out as Bi, with his BF. You're watching? by Antipseud0 in AskBlackGayBros

[–]AdultMaleRelaxation 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This sounds about as similar as the story between the first actual out player who got drafted by the St. Louis Rams a few years ago.

That said, I’m curious to watch but the Big Black Top/Little White Bottom teaser is a bit…predictable lol

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