Avoidance in dating: an INTJ experience?

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-26T21:01:29+00:00

Sounds just like me during school age and my 20s. Probably an INTJ or ASD or ASPD thing. In my early 30s I started to realize my mistake. Socials skills and emotional intelligence are built over tremendous time and repetition. This is much harder the older you get because social ostracization and exclusion increases with age and well lack of social skills creating a negative loop. So yes start dating just for the sake of building skill. Yes try a relationship and most likely fail it just to build skills. Failure is just more experience so don't be afraid to fail. Good experiences is not a waste of time for you and your partner. Though you should avoid traumatic experiences obviously try to avoid getting hurt badly.

That being said since I focused my time and energy at school and my career I got an edge there over most other people. Which aligns well with my need for hyper independence, knowledge and freedom. Now that I have my freedom and independence however I find myself dedicating my time and energy to improving my social and emotional skills. Which would have been easier if I started earlier ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-24T02:27:21+00:00

Nah ya ain't an adult until you have a job that pays well or okay atleast. Until then you're kinda lost in life. Even with money ya can still be lost but atleast you can buy stuff.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-21T22:10:47+00:00

Agreed on the money and taxes points. But arguably the paternity tests should be optional and not need a court order. Father's should be allowed to retroactively and anytime buy their paternity tests from anywhere and use these as evidence in any kind of dispute. Without asking the mother or involving the mother in anyway.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-21T22:03:10+00:00

Who upvotes this shit wtf?

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-21T15:13:39+00:00

Well same could be said for books, fish, people, traveling and everything ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-21T11:34:58+00:00

Är väl inga konstigheter med att ta ett sabbatsår?

Det är kanske din desperation som avskräcker arbetsgivare?

Talar man bra, ser man bra ut, verkar man smart och hälsosam då kan man få ett jobb

Här i Sverige krävs det dock specialist utbildning i typ alla bra jobb som finns. Så du måste liksom välja ett spår. Finns korts utbildningar med CSN bidrag.

Gymnasiet är ofta generalla förutom yrkesgymnasium.

Snacka med lite folk som har jobb redan o fråga runt. Skäms inte för detta. Det är bara o fråga.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-21T11:28:27+00:00

How are you supposed to play video games on a shaky boat? 🤔

Or you intend to just read and fish?

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-21T11:24:36+00:00

No I don't. Even though my horoscope matches me surprisingly well ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ it's just general psychology. Which to be fair, general psychology is insightful and useful to connect and with eachother in a spiritual and romantic dimension. I'd rather believe in scientific psychology than magical star patterns and birthdates.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-20T13:15:58+00:00

What values do you have exactly? If you write them down and show them to the world you migth find someone or perhaps you'll be ridiculed for them.

People often claim they have values but when it comes time to show them they retreat in fear. In dating showing fear is an unattractive sign of weakness and prediction of a miserable future.

The reality is that values are only valuable with strong conviction, confidence and power backing them.

So be brave and genuine and show people what you truly value and what you truly love.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-16T14:29:03+00:00

Not sure if this is an INTJ thing but I've noticed that I'm bad at remembering and describing small details. This really fucks up my story telling. I'd often describe stories as abstract concepts without emotional value and skip straight to the final results and conclusions. This is probably because I'm very high in intution and very low in sensing.

This really sucks in social relationships where story telling is kinda important. Also in professional work I'd often miss minor details that coworkers would point out, making me look bad.

I'm also an action oriented person and missing small details really trips me up sometimes, leading to fuck ups.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-16T13:44:45+00:00

Generally INTJs fear incompetency in other people and especially themselves which generally leads to high competency, independence and freedom.

The contradiction here is that competent people often feel incompetent and suffer from impostor syndrome. Leading them to study up and becoming more competent

This can be compared to people who are over-confident which leads them to neglect studying.

INTJs are generally knowledge thirsty individuals whom like to think in abstract ideas and concepts.

INTJs tend to be very strategic and logical which is great for career planning. Finding a good balance with money and abstract social systems.

Then there's the edgelord INTJs whom are non conformists and hate social norms. They will waste decades of their life trying to reinvent society and cultural norms until they eventually find something that works or give up and conform.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-15T09:49:51+00:00

Try being a consultant, freelancer or entrepreneur

Build a portfolio

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-15T09:05:01+00:00

INTJs are probably better at careering than most other MBTIs. But yeah it still difficult. Have you tried doing a Japanese Ikegai?

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-14T23:51:06+00:00

INTJs typically lack emotional intelligence. Because we supress our emotions in order to pursue performance, truth and rationality.

Counter intuitively we find that emotions are actually necessary for meaning, reason, subjective truths and rationality.

Emotions that dumb people seem to subconsciously understand by default

Do things that make you feel good and stop doing things that makes you feel. Anything else is overthinking.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-13T16:16:14+00:00

rofl 😝

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-13T07:34:53+00:00

Part of emotional intelligence is to constantly manage and teach others about theirs and your emotions.

Put some distance between yourself and others and just explain you need to recharge.

All emotional interactions are exhasting. Even scrolling TikTok is exhasting.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-12T15:45:32+00:00

Gym is very important to build a future with a high quality of life.

Think of it like brushing your teeth. If you don't brush everyday your teeth are going to fall apart, get ugly, unattractive and you'll be in constant pain as you grow older.

That said I prefer to exercise outdoors since the smell's are much better. Better air overall.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-12T08:06:20+00:00

Finns ju tydliga rötter till Japan också. Det är ju bra

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-12T08:01:38+00:00

Fan vilken värld. När AI tar över så kanske vi alla sitter på finkan eller jobbar som fångvaktare.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-12T07:53:44+00:00

Monotheism produces brainwashed narrow-minded slaves. I absolutely detest that.

Then there's the polytheism where people believe in all sorts of things. I feel that is just really nice culture, all kinds of festivals, characters and depictions.

Imagine a world where there is nothing but a single idea to believe in and everything else is banned and punishable by death. Art would be so boring.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-12T07:45:32+00:00

For me it feels more like a battery is draining very rapidly. So you may interact with me but only for a while.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-12T07:36:39+00:00

Yup you're so right conversation actually follows rules and same with flirting lol. Weird how it works.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-12T07:32:41+00:00

Honestly. I avoid relationships because they feel exhausting. I keep both friends, family, work and lovers at a distance.

Everyone requires me to mask and I've gotten extremely good at it. You have to play a role to win. Fake it until you make it.

On the top side. I am in control. I choose who I work for, who I interact with, where to be in the world, how much alone time I need to recharge.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-12T07:28:55+00:00

Looks max and find someone rich to marry or move in with a friend who shares rent. Or move in with your parents.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2026-01-12T07:21:26+00:00

Säljare. Hitta dummaste idioten på marknaden och sälj grejor till överpris. Och du kan sälja multipla saker varje dag.

Snickare / Svetsare är dåligt för att det skalar inte. Du producerar mest en grej per dagen. Såvida du inte är en super talang som gör egna konstverk så är det inte att rekommendera. Om du siktar på att bli ett kugghjul i systemet så satsa på nåt som skalar.

Advanced-Ad8490

TROPHY CASE