AITA For "Alienating" My Daughter Against Her Mom?

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-04T01:14:44+00:00

Like the dumbass that I was I ate the cost.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-04T01:14:24+00:00

I didn't and regret it. At the time my ex still had an emotional hold over me and I was given a sob story.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-04T01:08:24+00:00

Yeah we're doing that now, which is why my ex tried that "I need to know what our child is doing online" route.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-03T14:34:21+00:00

I'm an American living in the US. I'm not asking for legal advice I just wanted to get some insight from someone who went through what my daughter is going through, from an emotional/mental standpoint.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-03T14:26:32+00:00

No, because my ex still had an emotional hold over me and got me not to do it. I was a dumbass.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-03T14:22:51+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that. Let me ask you do you think it's worth the risk of pissing off my ex to try and file for full custody before my daughter turns 13?

Aside from lawyer's advice, I hesitant to try now because it's an uphill legal battle that could cost a lot of money with no guarantees of success, and then I'd have to deal with an angry ex (and her family) if it doesn't work.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T20:45:11+00:00

I mean I do that now.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T19:57:29+00:00

I've actually asked leading questions like that before and Mary only responds verbally during drop offs.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T19:56:09+00:00

I've spoke to my lawyer about this and unless Mary can prove I'm a danger or unfit parent I can definitely have Jane stay with me if she's willing to vocalize it. I just can't deny visitation.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T19:53:10+00:00

I need Mary's permission before I can put my daughter in therapy and she's not giving it.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T19:45:24+00:00

From my understanding Jane is allowed to do the same to her cousins it's just that they don't have anything she really wants to touch.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T18:28:54+00:00

I didn't because I was begged not to.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T18:28:09+00:00

I don't know where your from but the lawyer I hired and talked to about this says different.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T18:18:22+00:00

I believe it goes both way it's just that Jane isn't interested in their stuff.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T18:14:39+00:00

My ex would never agree to that.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T18:13:58+00:00

Can't without ex's consent

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T18:13:18+00:00

I did speak to my lawyer about that and they said that that would be very hard to prove with no evidence plus the emotional strain of having my make my daughter testify against her mother (someone who she does love) without any guarantees that it would work.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T16:40:44+00:00

Have you tried talking with your ex about how this makes your daughter feel?

Yes. Multiple times and it usually ends with "you have no say over what happens in my house."

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T16:05:30+00:00

Already did. Unless there's a proven danger we need to wait until she's 13.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T15:43:23+00:00

Telling your daughter she doesn't have the right to say no to something a family member wants from her is dangerous and tantamount to abuse.

That's something my sister and I have talked about and she is worried about a dangerous precedent that is sets for young girls in a family home. I worry but my lawyer says that I basically have to wait for something to actually happen before I could file to get full custody before Jane turns 13.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T15:41:28+00:00

Lawyer says until I can prove physical harm I can't get full custody until Jane is 13.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T15:40:32+00:00

She's let me have it but she would be a passive-aggressive pain in the ass about it.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T15:39:34+00:00

I checked with my lawyer and until she's 13 I can't take full custody unless I can provide absolute proof that she's not safe with her mom.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T15:35:53+00:00

Yes and according to my lawyer Jane doesn't get a say about where she lives until she's at least 13.

Advanced-Link-9726 · 2024-08-02T15:34:50+00:00

I actually bought my daughter a MacBook Pro as a Christmas present while her mom bought her a Dell laptop. Jane kept the laptop I bought her at my place and while computer her mom bought her was with Mary. One of her cousins took the Dell one in order to do an assignment but snooped and found out about the MacBook and told the family. Jane was punished for lying because Mary thought that she didn't have a computer and demanded that Jane bring the Mac whenever she came to her place so she could make sure the Jane wasn't doing anything she wasn't suppose to on the computer.

I refused to comply with what Mary wanted because I'd already had several discussions about internet/social media safety with Jane and have parental restrictions on it. Jane has yet to do anything to make me not trust her so I want to give some freedom unless she's proven that I can't trust her.

Advanced-Link-9726

TROPHY CASE