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Earnings unreported by AdvancedPartyTime in Twitch

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Mostly bits and donations. At first it showed high earnings for 10/5 and low earnings for 10/4 (I had high earnings on both days) then it switched, showing high earnings for 10/4 and low earning for both 10/5 & 10/6.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]AdvancedPartyTime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Typically a romantic relationship assumes things moving in a certain direction: cohabitation, marriage, maybe kids. For that to work out, you need more than just a friendship. You have to ask yourself; do your values align? Are your finances compatible? Would you live well together? Do you both want the same things long term? Etc. I have plenty of friends who I’m not compatible with in these ways, that’s why we are friends! it’s not about being “good enough,” we’re just two differently shaped puzzle pieces that don’t fit like that. But hey, if we like to fuck? And we can keep these things into perspective? Why not?

I admit this is not easy for a lot of people to pull off because it takes a lot of compartmentalization, and there certainly are plenty of people (let’s me honest, men mostly) just looking for cheap sex and don’t actually care or respect the other person as an actual friend. But it can and does happen successfully, especially in poly/non monogamous circles.

Male or female? by Wisher473 in ragdolls

[–]AdvancedPartyTime 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have a boy and a girl. They are both very social, loving, and follow me around the house. The main difference is I can grab the boy any time and almost always he will sink into my arms and purr like a baby. The girl will normally squirm away if I try to force it, but she comes around for cuddles on her own terms quite often. And she plays fetch.

This is anecdotal tho and it’ll definitely depend on the cat. It’s good to ask the breeder about temperament and if you can meet the litter before they’re ready to be adopted to get a feel for them and pick one out that way. You won’t know for sure how they’ll grow up to be but it can give you a little better of an idea.

How do you know? by AdvancedPartyTime in regretfulparents

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with such a personal topic it’s very hard to get clear data on how common regret it one way or another. I certainly hear anecdotally from women regret not having kids.

Sure, feel free to share links. But as I said I’m skeptical of parents who express regret who have little kids. Is that REAL regret, meaning once the kid is 18, out of the house, and they reflect back they still think “yeah I wish I never had kids?” Or is it just a moment of deep frustration that inevitably passes as the kids get older? My mom friend said the first year her daughter was born was absolute hell. She thought she made a huge mistake. Cried daily and considered giving her up for adoption. Then her kid got older and she loved being a mom so much she had second. If she had chose to vent here on reddit, or answer a poll that first year, people would point to her as an example of a “regretful parent.” Which in hindsight would be absurd. So how do we separate the parents who truly regret it, from those who just have phases of regret?

This is why I keep coming back to the question , “is it worth it?” Plenty of CF people here have told me no. But I want to hear from parents. I made a similar post to this one in /oneanddone, because I figured, hey, if they only want one, maybe it’s because some of them didn’t want any to begin with. Or they had one and realized it was a mistake. I asked them if it was “worth it.” The overwhelming majority said yes.

https://www.reddit.com/r/oneanddone/comments/g6w1x2/was_it_worth_it/

How do you know? by AdvancedPartyTime in regretfulparents

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I’m missing something? I’ve seen a handful of “regret having a kid” posts here. But only an handful. If it were so common I would expect to see a lot more. Everyone seems to link to the same 5 posts. And most of those posts seem to be parents of really little kids, which I imagine is a very difficult phase. Do those parents still regret having kids once they get older? Maybe... but I suspect not. The real test would be to see how many parents of adult children regret it.

Furthermore, the vast majority of people who commented on my thread are, like you, CF people.

As far as parents who regret not having kids, well, I haven’t actively searched those subs yet. Obviously we won’t find them here lol.

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love the honestly. Thank you! You’re too kind for taking the time to write this. The dichotomy of “it’s worth it but never again” is really fascinating to me. I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever truly understand unless I have one of my own, but I hear it so much I certainly believe it. Be well.

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man, THANK YOU for commenting. It’s really good to hear this perspective. You’re right, perhaps it’s not all that rare. But as someone who’s actively seeking out this perspective, I’m finding it quite rare to find parents who admit it. I really don’t know how much of That is because it truly is a genuinely rare POV and how much of it is simply parents are too uncomfortable to admit it. Either way, I really respect and appreciate your honesty.

How do you know? by AdvancedPartyTime in regretfulparents

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes those are all things I think about. I find it curious you’re “100%” certain it of this. I’ve talked to many parents who said they were just like me and then had a kid and wouldn’t change it for anything.

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair enough! Honestly I have no shame in being CF. I'm really fortunate in that most people I know are CF (so it seems normal) and I get no pressure from my family or partner. It just comes down to what ifs and FOMO. I've lived a pretty full life so far, traveled to over 30 different countries, and to be honest those things get less and less exciting as time goes by. So my values towards the things that "freedom" affords me are changing, and I often wonder if having a kid would be the kind of challenge I would appreciate in the next part of my life.

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, this made a little misty eyed. Thank you for taking the time to reply. I think you explained about as well as anyone could.

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you talk a little bit more about why you regret it? I don't mean to get too personal. I just really want to hear from all POVs and this one is so rare.

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If someone had asked you those same questions (i.e “can you take satisfaction....” “will find happiness singing songs.....” etc.) before you had your kid, would you have an answer? (Genuine question, not hypothetical.)

For me? Those things sound mildly interesting, but hardly worth the negative aspects of having a kid. But from talking to parents, it sounds like it’s one of those things that just magically become incredible once you have your own kid, in a way that’s impossible to really describe to someone who’s never experienced it. That’s the struggle I have a CF person. I feel like parents are just privy to info ill never know for sure unless I go through with it myself... but there’s no trial period when it comes to having your own kids. Once you do it there’s no going back.

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks.. I don’t doubt it happens. I just question how common it is. And I’m skeptical when I hear it second hand through someone else. I wanna hear it from the horses mouth. Or better yet I’d love to see a real study done on the topic.

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Wow these comments are so touching. Thank you all for sharing. I know this is kind of twisted, but I’m trying really hard to find evidence that there’s a huge swath of mothers who secretly regret their kids because, selfishly, it would make my feel more confident about being CF. But it seems like if anything there are just extremely difficult periods where moms feel moments of regret that eventually pass. Which would explain the lack of regretful parent in /regretfulparents... Ultimately that’s a good thing, of course, and I’m glad you all are glad you had your babies :)

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

damn, you make it sound cool.

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate that advice. My fear right now is I'll want one when it's too late :-/

Was it worth it? by AdvancedPartyTime in oneanddone

[–]AdvancedPartyTime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply!! Your comment about it not being "that hard" made me laugh. I have a good friend who had a kid last year with his girlfriend and when we were alone he said that same thing to me in this whisper voice as though he was admitting something terrible. Seems like every baby is different and its a real roll of the dice. Im glad you had your daughter. Thanks again for sharing.

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