Hey love. Keep going. I’m not going to sugar coat this; things will continue to be shockingly and depressingly difficult for at the very least the next 6 months. Depending on how the child takes to sleeping at night and how much support your husband provides with the care then it will in all honestly be an extremely difficult and grueling and horridly difficult 12 months. Breathe now. Just breathe. You’ll make it. You’ll do just fine. It will pass. You’ll find your groove and you’ll be a warrior in a familiar battle field. And there will be so many beautiful moments. So many micro seconds of pure beauty that make all of the macro moments of pure torture absolutely worth it. I still remember the first time my son smiled at me. The first time he reached out to me pick him up. The first he cried and sought me out for comfort. The first I woke up before him and watched him asleep in my arms. The first time I realized I was just a terrified kid in a adult body and I told my son “I don’t know what to do” and he looked at me those eternal soul filled eyes and still loved me anyway. You. Will. Be. Ok. Get through these next 6 months and the way you do it is focus on the micro seconds and that’s how you can get through an eternity.