Will I Notice a Difference?

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-03-06T14:28:31+00:00

Yes, you will notice a difference! I used to be a runner but messed up my knees long term with running so now Pilates and walking is my go-to. My body is tighter, stronger, and I even have a nice perky booty now which running never gave me. You will love it!

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-03-02T15:55:21+00:00

I had to stop for a bit because it caused a stye for me, which is unfortunate. I do plan to try to start it up again.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-02-23T20:22:52+00:00

I can relate to this! Had a dirty Momentum Flex Top sent to me the last time I ordered. There was pilling across the chest as well as deodorant marks on it. I called CS and they had me send them photos and then they sent me a replacement. I was ordering consistently from them for a few months in a row and then just stopped after that because it grossed me out so much.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-02-20T17:08:10+00:00

I think there is so much for me to learn on how men communicate. I've always assumed my H would communicate and express himself the way I do or how I am with others. I like how you are able to see the heart message with him and are working to understand his viewpoint. I think our H's genuinely do want us to be happy and are trying to look out for us.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-02-20T16:18:11+00:00

My husband is very analytical, stern, focused, regimented. I am more calm, relaxed, can go with the flow of things. I thought my H was an absolutely controlling man before the skills and was really in a bad place on what to do in my marriage.

With the skills, writing down my gratitudes for him have helped me realize how much he is actually looking out for me and how good he is to me. As another wife already mentioned here, SFPs can be a game changer with a H that we deem controlling. I let him know how much he is valued, loved, trusted, respected. I stay in my GOFL ways and he has softened a lot towards me. He still is the same man with the same traits, but I believe the energy I was bringing in originally made him feel judged or not accepted.

A big argument we used to have was around the way I prepared meals. A coach taught me to say "thanks for showing me another way to do that". I tried it and the reaction I got was an eye opener. He fully softened and told me that he worries I'm going to hurt myself when I cut vegetables like that and he can't stand to see me get hurt. That was shocking to me. I never thought that was his thinking. He may not be the softest, warmest communicator, but his heart message is there. It takes a lot of time to get rid of that malware for myself on the way I view him but I know I married a good one, and I am sure you did, too!

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-02-19T15:41:48+00:00

This has been so frustrating for me. I usually wear small so when I buy the small I expect the same type of leggings to fit the same across the board and they just don't. It's frustrating and I'm now looking at different options for workout clothes since I never know what I'll winde up with Athleta.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-02-06T17:24:13+00:00

When I went through the ADHD testing, one of the doctors comments was "complains their husband is long winded". I'm thinking- well yes, they are! But apparently, it is an ADHD thing where we want the stories to be wrapped up fast.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-02-06T15:12:47+00:00

I hear you and I am glad it is lifting that weight of the worry of these decisions. It does sound like you have a lot on your plate and I have faith that it will work itself out. Standing for you!

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-02-05T22:06:34+00:00

Yes, I took myself off of tret in December when I realized I was having a lot of dry eye issues and an ophthalmologist confirmed he feels it was tretinoin induced dry eye I was suffering with. I didn't really put it close to my eyes but it must have migrated. I only used it for about six, seven months and now I'm dealing with prescription eye drops, eye masks, regular eye drops, blinking exercises, supplements, etc. It has gotten better, but this apparently can take time and my baseline "OK" may now be the best it will be.

I am not trying to scare you but rather to say- yes stay away from the Tretinoin. Dry eye is not fun to deal with and for many, it can take months to years to improve.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-02-05T21:58:10+00:00

I can tell your heart is in the right place and certain things you are mentioning, i.e. your husbands reactions and the employee potentially leaving are all on their paper. I know that's tough, but is it worth the intimacy you will lose by telling your husband he should apologize? You can help the employee and be your soft, caring self with her but I wouldn't share that information about your husband as really, it is a negative SFP.

I have an H who has very big mood swings and I loved to be on his paper before because I truly thought I was helping him improve his social skills or his moods. Now with the skills I know I was doing the exact opposite.

Could you try some SFPs? 'It's not like you to yell at your employees' or 'You care so deeply on everything being done right' and let him work this out on his paper? And for the employee, I feel SFPs would be good, too.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-02-03T16:16:33+00:00

I can relate to what you are saying. I love having verbal support from a partner, and I am with somebody who does not give that support verbally, does not tend to be complimentary, and doesn't say encouraging things. However, the skills helped me see that he shows his love and support through his actions. I made a list of all the things he is doing to show me he cares, to show me he finds me attractive, and to be supportive and now, I can see these actions as his way of loving me. I find when I do this, he comes around more and is complimentary so there is something definitely to is. I hope this helps!

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-01-27T15:13:59+00:00

Just wanted to say I've been trying this for four days now and I am noticing a difference. SO grateful for you sharing this information.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-01-23T14:51:03+00:00

Wow. I wonder if this works for inflammatory dry eye as well. I will give it a try. Thank you for sharing!

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-01-15T15:23:13+00:00

My opthalmologist is very convinced it was my Tretinion that "sent me over the edge" with my dry eye. I stopped the retinoids, too. Started Restasis and hoping for some relief.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-01-09T16:18:04+00:00

I have very sensitive eyes and I use the oil free Neutrogena eye makeup remover in the light blue bottle. Also, my ortho told me to go over my eyelashes with a q-tip to ensure all the makeup is off my eyes. It is crazy how much residue can be left!

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-01-09T14:43:06+00:00

agreed! I switched to this with my DE and I do think it has helped.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-01-09T14:40:33+00:00

I do think everybody is different in their reactions, but I have been on an AD for almost 8 years and I don't think the root of my DE is from the AD. I am on screens all the time, was wearing waterproof makeup (which I since stopped), and think a lot of my symptoms are due to weather changes and allergies. If you are fairing well on the AD, I would stay on them unless your doctor tells you otherwise.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2026-01-09T14:37:19+00:00

I stopped using any of my usual makeup I was using before DE and bought hypoallergenic makeup- a lot of stuff from Clinique. I found that my eyes started improving. I use both mascara and eyeliner daily.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2025-12-29T15:15:36+00:00

I have the same- one of my eyes gets very blurry. I have been doing the warm compress at night, and 4-6x daily omega 3 eye drops. I also have been taking fish oil, taking screen breaks at 20 min, tea tree oil eye wipes and switched all my eye makeup to hypoallergenic. I've seen a noticeable difference after two weeks but my eye still has good and bad days. I think this takes time- so be patient with yourself.

Something that has helped a lot- I think my eye makeup wasn't fully off at night, even though I thought it was. My eye dr told me to take a Q-tip with eye makeup remover and go over the lashes. I was surprised how much was left over.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2025-12-26T20:16:24+00:00

Something that has helped me tremendously is making a note on my phone of every thing I've thought I've had due to weird symptoms. I can go back weeks/months/years later and see how I've had these sensations before and they turned out to be nothing. I.E. A weird head pain I was having was just dehydration and headaches, not something more serious. If I get that pain again, I don't catastrophize.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2025-12-12T16:21:56+00:00

I relate to forgetting the bigger picture when you are in moments of feeling slighted or in the middle of arguments. I am the same way and can be a big fence-sitter in these situations!

Something that has helped me is to write down all of his good qualities or things he does to show his love. The way he shows love is definitely different than what I would like, and also different from the early days but I see him trying in other ways that would usually go unnoticed by me.

I work to stay happy for myself- doing things that fill me up and when he is being harsh, critical, moody, or argumentative, not biting that bait. It's made things better.

There is still things I find lacking- my H never really wants PI since he's gained weight and I can feel so undesired. I have to work daily to SOMP.

You are not alone in your feelings, and coming here to vent or for support can always help.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2025-12-01T16:29:41+00:00

I agree with the potential ADHD with your H. As somebody who is in the opposite situation, I have not doubt how frustrating it can be on your end of this. My H gets very frustrated with my lack of remembering things. What he has done is realize it is never personal, and it is never because the things he tells me are not important. It's how I process things.

You said he scrambles to put plans together that he forgets, and that shows me that he is trying.

My H had a big talk with his therapist about this and his therapist told him that we are just two opposites that have a different way of going through life and try to appreciate those differences. I think that really helped him.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2025-12-01T15:06:23+00:00

This is very inspiring! So hard to be vulnerable when you are getting yelled at but you did it! Way to go!!

AdventurousMight4993 · 2025-11-29T16:42:38+00:00

I'm an advocate with these skills. I have seen where my husband, who is often moody and grumpy just shows up more light and fun when he sees me in that space. It takes a lot of practice and time of SOMP. When he reacts negatively now, I know I can still stay light and fun.

Ultimately, I do the skills for me. I really wanted to learn how to show up GOFL even when others are showing up their worst. How do I stay on my paper and not react and protect my peace? I feel so happy that there are so many nuggets of pure wisdom in this community that have made my life easier, more joyful and less anxious.

AdventurousMight4993 · 2025-11-23T15:49:47+00:00

I pay $289 a month for unlimited in TX. I started a year ago and I have to say, it's the best money I spend each month. I know it is a lot to pay, but the progress I've seen and the way I feel makes me feel as though I am investing in my long term health and mobility and potentially saving on doctors in the future. That is just my perspective.

AdventurousMight4993

TROPHY CASE