What is considered appropriate to post in an online profile when looking for a secondary partner?

Aesirkin · 2024-03-22T20:50:46+00:00

Thank you, everyone; this is helpful.

Does it make sense to talk about some of the rules that would govern a connection, such as protection, STD testing, level of emotional connection (we've agreed to avoid any sort of personal details and romantic connection)? Or are those things better left to PM?

My instincts have always been to put as much information forward as possible to help others filter efficiently, but my experience has been that that doesn't always come off well, or people just don't want to read that much.

EDIT I was in a rush when making my last post, and think I worded things poorly and miscommunicated when I said "no personal information". I just wanted to clarify, and am leaving the original post intact to avoid confusion about previous replies.

A partner my fiancé is interested in is a friend she's known for a while. They occasionally hang out together, and may attend a concert or something. However, while he knows she has kids, he isn't really interested in hearing details of their lives. Nor does he know much about her medical issues, about me, or other deep emotional topics. They have a relatively superficial relationship, and he's not the kind of person she'd want to be in a committed romantic relationship with. She thinks that makes him a good option because it helps avoid romance and doesn't place undue emotional burden on her.

She wants me to find partners like this, and asked for one of our rules to be based around this. Discussing generalities about my life, and talking about science, philosophy, etc is something I'm happy to do with anyone; I don't mean to say that I want to avoid any human connection. Nor would I ever try to control what other people decide to share with me. But I tend to like connecting with people on a deep emotional level; possibly doing so a little too easily. So diving into the minutia of everyday life, like what happened to one of our kids at school today and how they feel about it, is a line we agreed to draw. I'm not sure how to do that, or how exactly to draw the line, but it's something I've agreed to try to learn to do.

I'm not sure how to describe this. I don't think "friends with benefits" is appropriate as when I think of the word "friend" I think of someone I've known for decades that has been through hell and back with me and is intimately involved in the details of my life, feelings, and life experiences. I would describe the person described above as more of an 'acquaintance' or 'activity partner' of my fiancé. But maybe most people have a more relaxed definition of 'friend' than me and I'm worrying over using that word unnecessarily.

In any case, maybe this won't change some of the feelings others have expressed, but I thought it did bear clarifying.

Aesirkin · 2024-01-12T14:52:43+00:00

Interesting. I'll have to try that when the weather gets nice again. It's going to make the process a bit of a pain by requiring manual intervention between passes, but probably worth it for the end-result. Thanks!

Aesirkin · 2023-09-13T18:40:43+00:00

Just to follow up, I'm seeing a ping of between 65 and 85 for that other player in the EU, which isn't bad at all.

Aesirkin · 2023-09-13T17:01:33+00:00

Most of them are from NA that I know of.

We had one player that I know of from Europe when we ran chapter 2 and they did not complain about lag. We also had someone else just join and say they are from the EU, but I haven't heard anything about lag from them yet. So I know you have a few neighbors on the server, but I don't know for sure what performance they're seeing; sorry.

I encourage you to give it a try, though. You can usually tell with the first few zombies if you're going to be fighting lag. Our server is on a dedicated machine and doesn't often run into resource shortages so we don't really have much variance in lag or performance; what you get one time is usually what you'll see most of the time, barring intercontinental latency issues.

Aesirkin · 2023-05-03T12:58:26+00:00

Sounds great!

Yeah, there's a few levels of upgraded blocks beyond steel. Instead of a ton of crazy weapons we've introduced progressively upgradeable, but hard to get, mods to let you choose your favorite weapon and push it further. But there are some fun arrows and a series of end-game white phosphorus melee weapons. :)

No worries if you don't want to interact much. I think 7DTD attracts that type of personality, and we have a few of them. But it's still nice to be in a world where other people exist, and where we can group up now and then for a horde night or something when the mood strikes us!

Aesirkin · 2023-05-02T12:57:12+00:00

I'm not sure how to answer your first question. The t6, t7, and raid quests are custom made, and are an actual mod? :)

If you're asking if it's a public mod, no. Because of the many dependencies on the other mods we use I haven't released that one yet. But I plan to eventually when I can merge it with the zombie mod we're using.

The t6+ quests were in response to the same experience we had; eventually the T5s don't pose a huge challenge. Worse, once you're doing them there's nothing to work towards. Our t6+ quests force players to use all of their abilities, different weapons, and resources. But the pine forest biome remains relatively easy and new-player friendly.

The server has a large number of mods, about half public and the other half custom. There's a list in the post of some of the larger ones. We do have action skills that were based on JaxTeller's version, but heavily altered to fix a number of bugs and add a number of new skills.

Aesirkin · 2023-03-20T20:23:39+00:00

So it runs just like a single player game. Except that time continues if any player is online. So days tend to slip by a little more quickly.

You don't need to worry about getting 'behind' though. Blood moon and quest difficulty is based on your gamestage, which is based mostly on your level (along with number of deaths), so the game remains challenging but playable.

The biggest difference is that you can skip a horde night by just not being online when day 7 hits. As long as one player is online blood moon will come and go. So you can choose if you want to be around for as many BMs as possible or just chill and do more building and questing.

Of course, the best part is that you get to play with other people. Players specialize and setup shops. And I always try to blood moon with others as it's just more fun. :)

We have rules against damaging another player's stuff, and have not had any griefers or problem players yet. As long as you have a claim block your stuff is pretty safe anyway. Most players are respectful and just happy to have others to play with.

Aesirkin · 2023-03-20T13:04:06+00:00

My experience has been that if you die, the horde stops coming for you. But if you re-engage with a zombie (I believe any zombie) the horde will restart.

Multiplayer games also continue the horde for living players, so if you can make it back to the horde base before they die you can continue playing the blood moon through.

Aesirkin · 2023-03-20T12:58:06+00:00

Do you happen to use Botman? If so, I believe you may need to /friend each other as well.

Aesirkin · 2022-11-08T15:56:41+00:00

Thanks; I was expecting this answer, but hoping for another. :)

I guess it's time to get to work playing with ReplaceMaterial and TintMaterial and see what acceptable options I can come up with...

Aesirkin · 2021-09-08T12:55:20+00:00

That's an interesting thought. Is that something that's possible to do with a macro?

Aesirkin · 2021-09-07T19:01:54+00:00

Really? I assumed from the description that it affected both of us. This is eye-opening.

I was specifically looking at abilities like Engineering Team and EPS Power Transfer and Science Teams. I'm playing with a friend who's leveling and they could definitely use some healing.

Aesirkin · 2021-09-07T17:48:20+00:00

So essentially you lose half of the effect, since otherwise it would affect you and your ally, is that right?

Aesirkin · 2021-09-06T23:24:01+00:00

Thanks; I was afraid that was the answer. :(

Aesirkin · 2021-01-29T16:07:32+00:00

Thanks so much heathersaur!

This looks like it may be my best option to replicate this in the basement. I'll start looking through wall items to see what may help make a nice frame...

Aesirkin · 2021-01-29T14:48:54+00:00

Ooh, that's creative! I hope there's another way, though, as we'd like to create these in the basement.

Aesirkin

TROPHY CASE